SILVER BULLET
Ok, I know I said I'd do The Shining movie and mini-series but I lied. Sorry. Thinking about it a bit more I don't think there's much more I can add that hasn't already been said. I'm also a coward. I don't want to have to defend my position against the fans of the movie who think Kubrick is a genius and if you don't like it you don't understand Kubrick's genius. They each have their flaws and their strengths and can't we all just get along!?
Ahem. That being said, I like the mini-series better. Fling rocks if you must.
Oh, just to warn you, thus far I have been curbing my foul tongue but it's getting really, really hard to do. So, from here on out there may be occasional swearing. Carry on.
So, instead of talking about a haunted hotel let's talk werewolves shall we? And if anybody mentions Twilight they are banished from my little kingdom forever. Not really, because I can't alienate all of my four readers who for all I know might be raging Twi-Hards.
Anyway, I'm not super into werewolves. Like I don't read a bunch of werewolf books and all of that. However, I do enjoy a good mauling every now and then as much as the next gal.
My favorite is An American Werewolf in London but Silver Bullet tanks right up there. My other favorite is Blood Moon but that's more of a reverse werewolf movie really. And, ok, I admit that Cursed holds a fond place in my heart.
I don't know about you guys but I'm a sucker for practical werewolf effects. A CGI werewolf leaves me cold.
Anywho, on to the movie.
SYNOPSIS:
The quiet little town of Tarker's Mills is being ravaged by a killer who mauls his victims. Marty Coslaw, who is paralyzed from the waist down and confined to a wheelchair, and his sister Jane start to suspect that the killings may not be the work of a man at all.
THE PICKINGS:
The movie opens with Older Jane narrating and telling us the horror began on this night in 1976 with what is assumed an accident at first.
We see a dunk railroad worker singing a lovely song about Rheingold Beer while going about his railroad worker business. We see him bush-stalked by a P.o.V. monster and his head goes flying. The guy is a known drunk (and in this town that's really saying something) so his death is written off as an accident.
Then we join our two teenage heroes at what I think is a town picnic or something like that. Jane is ordered by her mother to go check on her brother who is currently off plotting with his friend Brady to totally ruin Jane's day.
By the way, I hate Marty and Jane's parents. They're pretty much forcing Jane to take care of Marty while they do Very Important Things. Like watch the mayor give an exciting address and listening to the opening prayer by the town's preacher. They are basically making Jane resent Marty when, under other circumstances, they probably would get along pretty well. Plus, he seems pretty capable of doing a lot on his own.
Anyway, back to the very exciting picnic.
Jane goes looking for Marty while Brady hides in a tree with a snake. He dangles it in front of her, freaking her out and making her fall in a mud puddle, running her ugly plaid skirt (you're better off without it Jane, believe me) which Marty and Brady both find pretty damn funny. Brady takes it a little too far (over Marty's protests) and chucks the snake at Jane, making her shriek and fall in the mud puddle again. So, naturally, Jane's a little...perturbed. Actually, I believe her words are: "I hate you, you booger!"
She goes off to hide in some trees to cry a bit and try to clean up. While there she overheard an argument by Dickweed and SillyStella. Apparently, SillyStella is ' In Trouble' and is trying to tell Dickweed that the baby is his. His elegant reply is that it's her oven but it certainly ain't his bun cooking in it. What a gent. If this were a little bit later she'd probably say, "Whatever, see you at the D.N.A. test" but since it's 1976 she's bummed out and freaking out.
In the car ride home the parents take Marty's side, telling her to grow up and that she knows damn well Marty couldn't have climbed that tree to stop Brady (I disagree). Jane accuses them of taking Marty's side because he's crippled and then she pulls out a pair of big bread ones and yells, "Well it's not my fault he's crippled!" (Remember 1976 everyone, PC was not invented yet).
Anyway, her mother threatens to smack her. Ah, lovely parenting. So the happy little family all arrive home (sans smacking) and as her parents carry a bag or two of groceries into the house they have Jane help Marty into his house-wheelchair.
Ok, fortunately I've never had to be in this situation but is it normal to have at least three or four different wheelchairs? There's one on a trailer on the back of the station wagon (I don't see why they don't just put it inside their big ass station wagon but whatever), one that Jane helps him into at the house with that I'm assuming is his house wheelchair. Another that's motorized for school and back (more on that one later) and later he uses an elevator to get upstairs so I'm guessing he has one up there, too. That just seems like a lot to me.
Before they go in Jane tells Marty that their Uncle Red is getting divorced for the fourth time and that he's a drunk. A lovely little exchange of Is Not! Is so! follows and they go in.
Later that night Marty comes to Jane's room with some money to replace the nylons that got ruined in their prank. He dumps a wad (about three dollars) on her nightstand and asks if it's enough. She picks out a dollar or so and gives the rest back. In which she's a lot nicer than me because I probably would have taken all my sister's money. Just on general principle. Marty apologizes again for Brady being a dink and she apologizes for being mean the way she told them about their uncle.
Later that night at a different house SillyStella is taking a bunch of pills to kill herself over Dickweed. Why, I'm not sure. She's not a teenager, she looks about mid-twenties, early thirties so it's not like she can't get a job or something to support herself and her kid. And she apparently lives with her mom in a big ass house so I really don't know why exactly. I'd like to think it's over something a bit more important than that ass but I'm probably being optimistic.
Well, it hardly matters in the long run because le werewolf comes in to maul her before she can do it.
Werewolf-2
Our next scene is outside of the school where Marty, Brady and a little cutie named Tammy are talking. Seriously, she had the most pinchable cheeks. And an odd Southern accent. Brady jets and Marty gallantly offers to see Tammy home because she lives near SillyStella and she's scared at night of something in her family's greenhouse. Hmmm, what could it be? They chat a bit before Tammy's snazzy father comes out to order her into the house. He's dressed oh so charmingly in a bathrobe and undies and drinking a beer. He also utters this charming little bit of dialogue, " Damn cripple. Always end up on welfare. Oughta electrocute them, balance the goddamn budget." What a prince.
Late that night though there's something causing a ruckus amongst the flower pots so Mr. Charmer goes out to investigate. The werewolf makes short work of him as well. Although it makes me wonder what in the neck the werewolf was doing in there too begin with. Looking for some chives to go with dinner?
Werewolf- 3
We have a nice little family night when Uncle Red comes to visit. He's drinking and joking around with Marty and playing cards. He's also telling obscene jokes that contain the word...jackass...while mom stands around looking disapproving. After Marty goes to bed she lays into him for drinking in front of Marty (but honestly, he doesn't seem that trashed) and swearing and just generally being a Bad Uncle. She also yells at him that she's responsible for how he (Marty) feels when he sees him (Uncle Red) like this and how Marty feels when Red leaves. Um, ok? Is Red never supposed to leave? And Marty didn't seem that bothered by the drinking. It's not like he was stripping down or tripping over stuff or passing out in front of him. Nan's just a bitch I've decided.
There's some rabble-rousing at the local pub and we don't learn much except that the sheriff's deputy is a pussy. A curfew has also been instituted.
Marty and Brady are hanging out when Jane comes to find him. Marty's late home and the parents are quite understandably upset with Jane for not finding him sooner. Yeah, by the way, Brady and Marty have climbed a tree to retrieve Brady's kite. Told you so. Marty's apparently quite capable at climbing trees. And drainpipes.
They head home leaving Brady to fly his kite a bit longer because to Brady kite-flying trumps personal safety. Priorities you know.
Back at the local bar the main rabble-rouser is still rousing rabbles. Things almost come to blows before Brady's dad wanders in looking for his son. Cut to the park.
This scene is just great. It's creepy and sad at the same time. Sheriff Haller is walking in a daze, repeating a Virgin Mary prayer (sorry, I'm not Catholic so I'm not sure what he's reciting exactly) and holding a torn and bloody kite. Uh-oh. Behind him in the gazebo we can see a bunch of red...gick...that we can assume is Brady.
Werewolf- 4
There's a very touching funeral for Brady at which Marty is bummed and Uncle Red kindly refrains from sneaking a drink from his flask.
Back at the bar (seriously Uncle Red's drinking pales in comparison to this town) the Rabblers decide to go out hunting, if you know what I mean. The sheriff tries to stop them and almost has them convinced until Brady's dad pops in to yell at the sheriff and say that he's going out to hunt up a little 'private justice'. And the sheriff is vanquished. Apparently an actual arrest would be too much and he seems oddly ok with a bunch of tanked up redneck's heading out to the woods with firearms. Probably because it's almost hunting season by now so he figures in a week or two they'll be legal to go hunting. The reverend begs them to stop. Pleads with them, actually. And it's a little sad. I'll get back to that in a bit.
Everyone's in the woods got some reason. Really this makes no sense. Two of the attacks were outside, true, but two were inside. As far as anybody knows The Tarker's Mill Mailer is a human person. But for some reason their best bet is...The woods. Ok. I think they're there just so the werewolf can get three or four at once and they can have somebody step in a bear trap. This makes me cringe every time I see it. Interestingly, Brady's dad is nowhere to be seen. I guess he went hunting 'private justice' elsewhere.
Sure enough the werewolf shows up and shows them who's boss.
Werewolf- 7
This is getting rather long and we're only halfway through! So I'm splitting this into two posts. Stay tuned tomorrow (I give my super-sacred word!) As we find out which dastardly townsfolk is the Tarker's Mill Mauler. Dun dun dunnnn!
Friday, October 16, 2015
Wednesday, October 14, 2015
THE SHINING by Stephen King
(Book)
Welcome back! After my very optimistic post about updating at least every other day I went on vacation. Fooled you didn't I? We were up calling in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan which is so beautiful. And, honest truth, I almost enjoy the drive there more than the camping itself. It's such a beautiful drive. The U.P. was gorgeous, too. In the fall you really can't go wrong up there wherever you go. The colors will astound you. And it was great, except for the bees. And my car deciding to give itself an oil change by leaking oil like a sieve. And ending up in Wisconsin (briefly).
And the Mackinac Bridge.
Don't get me wrong, the bridge is beautiful and I'm sure 100% safe. But I hate to drive over it. I really, truly do. So, next time you're on it and you're stuck behind someone going 15 miles an hour and cringing at any little gust of wind, it's probably me. I'm very sorry.
Anywho, I'm back and while I was camping I managed to finish The Shining, which is one of my favorite books so unfortunately there will be very little snark to it this time. Also, tonight I watched The Shining mini-series (1997) and tomorrow I will force myself to watch The Shining (1980). I guess it's The Shining week here at Picking on Stuff.
But, enough about me and my mis-adventures in camping.
Let's hurry on to The Overlook hotel. I hear it's nice this time of year.
SYNOPSIS:
The Torrance family is spending the winter in the famous (or infamous, depending on who you ask) Overlook Hotel. Jack has been hired on as winter caretaker and his wife Wendy and give year old son Danny are accompanying him. Jack really needs the job and they are all hoping something good comes of their winter respite at the hotel.
For Jack it's the chance to put his recent past as a drunk behind him (and firing from a prestigious prep school) and finish up a play he's been working on. For Wendy it's the chance to put their fractured marriage back together and for Danny? Well, Danny's just along for the ride, no matter his personal feelings about the hotel.
As the snow closes in and isolates them, things go from bad to worse.
Because Danny has a gift. He had a powerful psychic gift that gives him glimpses of the future and the past.
And the dead at the Overlook aren't really dead. They're just waiting.
THE PICKINGS:
Spoilers ahead!!Daeha sreliops
This has been one of my favorite books ever since I was 11 or 12. Let's just sat my mom exposed me to horror at a very young age. And I've been thankful ever since.
So far it has been one of the few books that made sleeping on the couch preferable to crossing a dark living room and hallway to go to bed. I'm not too find of King's more recent works but back then he was in fine form.
It's strange how your perspective toward a book can change with age. When I was younger I connected more with Danny but reading it as an adult I can appreciate Jack's character a lot more. Wendy, to me, hasn't changed much. Her character is pretty solid no matter what. A little less complex and simply drawn than Danny and Jack. Which I guess isn't too much of a surprise since Danny and Jack are the main focus of the book. But for all the time we spend in Wendy's head her character is definitely secondary to Jack and Danny. That's not to say that she's a bad character, just less complex.
As a kid I thought of Danny as a brave kid, Jack was the boogeyman and Wendy was The Mom. But reading it now Danny impresses me a lot more. He's this little kid who has this enormous power that makes him privy to all sorts of information he doesn't want, need, or even know what to do with half the time. He knows The Overlook is a Bad Place but doesn't really want to say anything because of how important the job is to his father and his mother. He also had a naive optimism that maybe it's not really as bad as he thinks. But really, he's all alone with what he's feeling. So, yeah, I am a lot more impressed with Danny this time around.
Jack I'm finding myself a lot more sympathetic toward now. Not the whole bash-your-family's-head-in-with-a-mallet thing but his desperation is so palpable. This is truly his last chance to be something, to do something to get their life back on track and keep himself from sinking lower. Through a lot of the book I could picture him on a cliff with his fingernails slipping slowly off and the Overlook waiting at the bottom, jaws open wide. And of course he does slip off but when he does it's sad.
In some ways Jack's mental struggles at the Overlook are scarier than the more in-your-face horrific moments. Partly because they're understandable. The Overlook is at its most insidious when it preys on Jack's uncertainty about his actions being good for his family, his depression at always failing and his resentment at Wendy for not fully trusting him. His resentment is actually pretty understandable. In his eyes he's trying as hard as he can. He's quit drinking, cold turkey pretty much, he's trying to be a better father to Danny and a better husband to her but sometimes it doesn't seem enough. She's always checking for booze on his breath, tense when he and Danny play, generally watching him like a hawk and more than ready to throw the past in his face if he screws up. But then you have to look at it from Wendy's point of view. He hurt their son while drunk, and not just hurt him but broke his arm. His turnaround on the drinking was very sudden and it off the blue. Also, cold turkey isn't easy. So she's probably waiting for him to slip. She's also trying very hard to keep their family together. So both of them have equally valid feelings.
There is just so much good, creepy stuff in this book that it's hard to really get started on it. A lot of the evil is subtle, especially when it's working on Jack's mind. A lot of it seems like echoes that only Danny can see. Like the blood and brain, residue from a gangland slaying, on the walls of the Presidential Suite. Some of it's harmless but other manifestations are not so harmless. Like the lady that waits in Room 217. Small confession, while reading this at night in bed I was just to the part where she turns Danny around and chokes him and right at that moment my dog kicked me in her sleep and I about shot ten feet in the air and gave the wussiest screech known to man.
One of my favorite parts is when Jack finds the old scrapbook down in the basement. I'm a sucker for the history of places, especially if it's creepy history.
Some of Wendy's actions don't make much sense sometimes. When Danny tells them he saw the hedge animals move Jack is trying to tell Danny that it's his imagination. Danny 'reads' that Jack saw them too and says so, well, until Jack smacks him. Wendy freaks out about the slap (as well she should) but then never asks Jack about it at all. She also seems mildly upset about the CB radio getting smashed by Jack in his sleep but not nearly as much as you'd think she would be considering that it is literally their only connection to the outside world after the phones go down. It never shows her reaction to the snowmobile magneto being missing but again I'm assuming she takes it somewhat in stride. Of course, there's not a whole lot she can do except wait it out and hope for the best.
I know Jack's irritation with her, over her insistence to leave, stems mostly from the hotel and him not really wanting to leave but I kind of share it. Her big ideas are to take the snowmobile or snowshoe down. Now, the snowmobile is a perfectly reasonable idea but snowshoeing down the mountain in the thick of winter is insane. Maybe not for people experienced at it but these people do not seem the outdoorsy type at all. She just didn't seem to comprehend how quickly they could die out there.
I love how slowly the tension builds. I love the refrain of "Unmask! Unmask!" And "The red death held sway over all" throughout. That was the first Poe story I read and it's still my favorite one. And it fits the story so well.
My absolute favorite part though is near the end. Jack has royally fucked up Wendy and Dick Halloran and is going after Danny. Danny realizes it's pointless to run and stood and stands to confront the thing that's wearing his dad like a Jack suit. Which leads to my favorite exchange:
"They promised me I could look all I want!"
"Yes, they promised, but they lie." Said Danny.
I don't know why but it's always been my favorite line. Probably because it sums up the Overlook so succinctly. They promise a lot. But they lie and they take and they never give anything back.
This may have not been the greatest review of The Shining but it's always so much easier to nitpick than praise. When I like a book or movie it's a little hard to tell why I like them exactly. When I don't like something is much easier to point to certain things and say, "I don't like that or that".
So, tomorrow will be The Shining movie (1997). Which hopefully will be a little bit better reading.
(Book)
Welcome back! After my very optimistic post about updating at least every other day I went on vacation. Fooled you didn't I? We were up calling in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan which is so beautiful. And, honest truth, I almost enjoy the drive there more than the camping itself. It's such a beautiful drive. The U.P. was gorgeous, too. In the fall you really can't go wrong up there wherever you go. The colors will astound you. And it was great, except for the bees. And my car deciding to give itself an oil change by leaking oil like a sieve. And ending up in Wisconsin (briefly).
And the Mackinac Bridge.
Don't get me wrong, the bridge is beautiful and I'm sure 100% safe. But I hate to drive over it. I really, truly do. So, next time you're on it and you're stuck behind someone going 15 miles an hour and cringing at any little gust of wind, it's probably me. I'm very sorry.
Anywho, I'm back and while I was camping I managed to finish The Shining, which is one of my favorite books so unfortunately there will be very little snark to it this time. Also, tonight I watched The Shining mini-series (1997) and tomorrow I will force myself to watch The Shining (1980). I guess it's The Shining week here at Picking on Stuff.
But, enough about me and my mis-adventures in camping.
Let's hurry on to The Overlook hotel. I hear it's nice this time of year.
SYNOPSIS:
The Torrance family is spending the winter in the famous (or infamous, depending on who you ask) Overlook Hotel. Jack has been hired on as winter caretaker and his wife Wendy and give year old son Danny are accompanying him. Jack really needs the job and they are all hoping something good comes of their winter respite at the hotel.
For Jack it's the chance to put his recent past as a drunk behind him (and firing from a prestigious prep school) and finish up a play he's been working on. For Wendy it's the chance to put their fractured marriage back together and for Danny? Well, Danny's just along for the ride, no matter his personal feelings about the hotel.
As the snow closes in and isolates them, things go from bad to worse.
Because Danny has a gift. He had a powerful psychic gift that gives him glimpses of the future and the past.
And the dead at the Overlook aren't really dead. They're just waiting.
THE PICKINGS:
Spoilers ahead!!Daeha sreliops
This has been one of my favorite books ever since I was 11 or 12. Let's just sat my mom exposed me to horror at a very young age. And I've been thankful ever since.
So far it has been one of the few books that made sleeping on the couch preferable to crossing a dark living room and hallway to go to bed. I'm not too find of King's more recent works but back then he was in fine form.
It's strange how your perspective toward a book can change with age. When I was younger I connected more with Danny but reading it as an adult I can appreciate Jack's character a lot more. Wendy, to me, hasn't changed much. Her character is pretty solid no matter what. A little less complex and simply drawn than Danny and Jack. Which I guess isn't too much of a surprise since Danny and Jack are the main focus of the book. But for all the time we spend in Wendy's head her character is definitely secondary to Jack and Danny. That's not to say that she's a bad character, just less complex.
As a kid I thought of Danny as a brave kid, Jack was the boogeyman and Wendy was The Mom. But reading it now Danny impresses me a lot more. He's this little kid who has this enormous power that makes him privy to all sorts of information he doesn't want, need, or even know what to do with half the time. He knows The Overlook is a Bad Place but doesn't really want to say anything because of how important the job is to his father and his mother. He also had a naive optimism that maybe it's not really as bad as he thinks. But really, he's all alone with what he's feeling. So, yeah, I am a lot more impressed with Danny this time around.
Jack I'm finding myself a lot more sympathetic toward now. Not the whole bash-your-family's-head-in-with-a-mallet thing but his desperation is so palpable. This is truly his last chance to be something, to do something to get their life back on track and keep himself from sinking lower. Through a lot of the book I could picture him on a cliff with his fingernails slipping slowly off and the Overlook waiting at the bottom, jaws open wide. And of course he does slip off but when he does it's sad.
In some ways Jack's mental struggles at the Overlook are scarier than the more in-your-face horrific moments. Partly because they're understandable. The Overlook is at its most insidious when it preys on Jack's uncertainty about his actions being good for his family, his depression at always failing and his resentment at Wendy for not fully trusting him. His resentment is actually pretty understandable. In his eyes he's trying as hard as he can. He's quit drinking, cold turkey pretty much, he's trying to be a better father to Danny and a better husband to her but sometimes it doesn't seem enough. She's always checking for booze on his breath, tense when he and Danny play, generally watching him like a hawk and more than ready to throw the past in his face if he screws up. But then you have to look at it from Wendy's point of view. He hurt their son while drunk, and not just hurt him but broke his arm. His turnaround on the drinking was very sudden and it off the blue. Also, cold turkey isn't easy. So she's probably waiting for him to slip. She's also trying very hard to keep their family together. So both of them have equally valid feelings.
There is just so much good, creepy stuff in this book that it's hard to really get started on it. A lot of the evil is subtle, especially when it's working on Jack's mind. A lot of it seems like echoes that only Danny can see. Like the blood and brain, residue from a gangland slaying, on the walls of the Presidential Suite. Some of it's harmless but other manifestations are not so harmless. Like the lady that waits in Room 217. Small confession, while reading this at night in bed I was just to the part where she turns Danny around and chokes him and right at that moment my dog kicked me in her sleep and I about shot ten feet in the air and gave the wussiest screech known to man.
One of my favorite parts is when Jack finds the old scrapbook down in the basement. I'm a sucker for the history of places, especially if it's creepy history.
Some of Wendy's actions don't make much sense sometimes. When Danny tells them he saw the hedge animals move Jack is trying to tell Danny that it's his imagination. Danny 'reads' that Jack saw them too and says so, well, until Jack smacks him. Wendy freaks out about the slap (as well she should) but then never asks Jack about it at all. She also seems mildly upset about the CB radio getting smashed by Jack in his sleep but not nearly as much as you'd think she would be considering that it is literally their only connection to the outside world after the phones go down. It never shows her reaction to the snowmobile magneto being missing but again I'm assuming she takes it somewhat in stride. Of course, there's not a whole lot she can do except wait it out and hope for the best.
I know Jack's irritation with her, over her insistence to leave, stems mostly from the hotel and him not really wanting to leave but I kind of share it. Her big ideas are to take the snowmobile or snowshoe down. Now, the snowmobile is a perfectly reasonable idea but snowshoeing down the mountain in the thick of winter is insane. Maybe not for people experienced at it but these people do not seem the outdoorsy type at all. She just didn't seem to comprehend how quickly they could die out there.
I love how slowly the tension builds. I love the refrain of "Unmask! Unmask!" And "The red death held sway over all" throughout. That was the first Poe story I read and it's still my favorite one. And it fits the story so well.
My absolute favorite part though is near the end. Jack has royally fucked up Wendy and Dick Halloran and is going after Danny. Danny realizes it's pointless to run and stood and stands to confront the thing that's wearing his dad like a Jack suit. Which leads to my favorite exchange:
"They promised me I could look all I want!"
"Yes, they promised, but they lie." Said Danny.
I don't know why but it's always been my favorite line. Probably because it sums up the Overlook so succinctly. They promise a lot. But they lie and they take and they never give anything back.
This may have not been the greatest review of The Shining but it's always so much easier to nitpick than praise. When I like a book or movie it's a little hard to tell why I like them exactly. When I don't like something is much easier to point to certain things and say, "I don't like that or that".
So, tomorrow will be The Shining movie (1997). Which hopefully will be a little bit better reading.
Tuesday, October 6, 2015
The Secret Village
(movie)
When October hit I was hoping to do one movie and post per day. But, as you can probably tell, that's not working out so well. So, I'll try to do at least every other day and hopefully do one per day the week before Halloween. I'm still working on The Shining so that is still to come. Probably early next week since I'm about halfway through it. Tonight I'll be watching Session 9 so that should be up either tomorrow or the day after.
But, in the meantime, let's pick on The Secret Village.
Synopsis:
The movie begins by showing us some text about a witchcraft scare in 1666 (get it, get it?) which was blamed on a slave who was hung for the deed. Later it was traced to an outbreak of ergot poisoning.
A journalist named Rachel is doing a story on The Village, the poisoning, or both. She has an informant from The Village who tells her that The Village does not like reporters snooping around. They're so ashamed of their history that they won't talk about it and may even kill to protect their secret. They have no police force and are self-governed. The government does not even know they exist.
Scariness ensues after she connects another mass tragedy on the same date in 1999 (get it, get it!?) and starts to suspect another one may be transpiring. Black-cloaked cultists from The Village start tailing her. As do two mysterious men in a sedan. I call them Goatee and Leather since we never learn their names.
There's a twist (of course) and the movie ends.
The Pickings:
Spoilers ahoy!
The movie opens with a guy named Greg driving and arguing with his girlfriend on a cell phone. It appears they've broken up. He arrives at a house that he is apparently renting with two women as his roommates. Rachel and Mary. You might be thinking at this point that Greg is our main character. No. After arriving at the house the story mostly follows Rachel with a few appearances by Greg. And who is Mary? You might be asking. I have no idea. We never see her, never know anything about her and after two brief mentions by Greg and Rachel, we never hear of her again. Just one of the many loose ends that the movie leaves dangling.
Rachel interviews Paul, her informant, who reiterates over and over how just by talking to her their lives could be in danger, don't trust anyone and don't talk to anyone else about The Village. Although their conversation is mostly about ergot poisoning and it's effects. Apparently she's never heard of Google.
So, afterward she does what any reasonable person would do. She starts asking anyone and everyone about The Village. Well, three people anyway. It never really shows a village. I saw three houses, one maybe two graveyards, a restaurant and a Very Mysterious Building. I'm not even sure where these buildings are in relation to each other.
We're treated to a scene of Goatee about to be jumped by a bunch of teens wielding PVC pipe (that sounds extremely light and hollow when it's dropped). He fights them off and they flee but he manages to catch one of the boys and injects something into his neck.
Rachel and Greg take a stroll and we learn he is there to write a screenplay about The Village and it's cult. I guess The Village isn't so secret after all. It should be called The Easily Findable Not-So-Secret Village. He tells her about the cult but it's a little unclear whether he means an actual cult or one that he's going to make up for his screenplay. He whines a bit about how his girlfriend is a meanie and doesn't support his dream and wants him to find a 'real' job. It's a little hard to feel sorry for him because unless you're a genius, most people do have to work a day job while they write. It's called 'paying the bills'. During this stroll we see Goatee again, chasing a young woman and again, injecting her with something.
The movie isn't really too bad up until this point. It's a little cheesy, but not bad. It's at this point that the movie starts to really go off the rails.
Rachel meets up with Paul again who is in great distress (and dressed like Colonel Mustard). The Villagers are portrayed with really old-fashioned clothes but not from any specific era. He's freaking out about being seen together and to come to his house next time. Which is a strange place to meet if you're afraid of being watched but whatever. He throws a couple warnings at her. Then, he sees a ghost that Rachel does not see. That will be important information later.
The packet he gave her contained a hand-drawn map to a cemetery that looks remarkably well-kept and maintained for being 'secret'. This is where I got confused whether there was one or two cemeteries. There are a lot of time jumps so I'm not sure if there are two separate cemeteries or different shots of the same one, sometimes her clothes were the only thing to go by. The Ghost Girl also makes an appearance here as well. And again Rachel does not see her.
It got pretty annoying after a while. In the meantime she starts running into black-cloaked cultists (I mean, does any cultist worth it's salt wear any other color?) and by two men in a sedan, Goatee and Leather.
Greg goes along with Rachel over to Paul's house for some more info but does not go inside. She comes running out, followed closely by Goatee and Leather. She tells Greg that Paul is dead. And because cops don't exist in that Village (or anywhere else apparently) they don't report it.
Rachel goes to work, out of the blue, at the restaurant. She is pretty adamant that she's not doing it for the money. It's to get close to the townspeople (or Village People, if you prefer).
There are three conflicting scenes here. In one, Greg, along with Leather, followed her to work. Leather takes off after seeing Greg. In one scene, Greg says that he will see her at the house and leaves. In another, Greg kisses her before leaving. And in yet another Leather speaks to her before leaving. So, take your pick. They're all equally likely.
Greg goes to Paul's house and Goatee opens the door. End scene.
Greg disappears for a bit and Rachel starts getting freaked out. After Paul's demise she gets help from an African-American man, named Jim, who claims he's helping her because it was his ancestor that was executed. He shows her a building where he claims the cult is keeping prisoners and experimenting on them with the ergot.
Greg comes back and tries to get her to leave with him but she decides to take a shower first. After she gets out she sees Greg snooping through her laptop and take two of her books outside and give them to Leather. She locks Greg out, gets dressed (in a nifty black dress and heels, because when you're being chased by cult members it's important to look your best). She meets Jim at The Very Mysterious House and he shows her the kids that are being experimented on. She takes a few pictures and calls her editor to send the police there. He's more concerned that she missed the arbitrary deadline for her piece and the phone breaks up. Because apparently the phone in her hand could not in any way, shape or form be used as a phone. Greg injects her with something and we fade out to the big 'surprise'.
Rachel was suffering from ergot poisoning the entire time and hallucinated Paul, Jim, and the cult. Leather and Goatee are real. They are the actual owners of the home she believed was Paul's. So, yeah, I'm sure they were pretty surprised when this random chick walked into their house and started questioning thin air. So, they were chasing her down to try and help her. Because, you know, stalking is the best way to approach an obviously mentally unstable woman. When they spoke to Greg they told him they knew a 'specialist doctor' in New York that Greg could go see him. That was what he injected her with. Because doctors don't need to actually see their patients before diagnosing and prescribing for them I guess.
The twist, frankly, sucks. It's telegraphed a mile away. Plus, the movie flat-out cheats to try and make us believe that Rachel is in deadly peril. First it shows us Goatee injecting the kid. If it's real, then why? If it's not, then huh? Also, Ghost Girl that Paul saw and Rachel did not. So, her hallucinations are seeing ghosts? And Ghost Girl also appears at the cemetery where literally nobody sees it.
Again, some of it just makes no sense. There are no police in The Village = No police anywhere. She has a phone that works. She's constantly calling her editor, so we know the phone works. Why doesn't she call? Or better yet, drive the fuck on out of there. She has a car that runs perfectly. She's in fear for life but she stays? And it's not because of the big 'thing' that's being planned. That gets dropped almost right away.
The side-effects of the poisoning are very convenient, as well. She only gets the hallucinations. No shakes, no gastrointestinal gangrene. Other than the stuff she's seeing, she's fine!
Also, the scene where Greg gives the books to Leather makes absolutely no sense, either. It looks purposely manufactured to just draw out the suspense.
So, what's the deal? It almost feels like they started with one idea, then someone said, "I have a great idea for a twist!" and it went from there.
You can see the seeds of a really good idea but it was buried under too many time-shifts in an effort to be clever. It would have been at least a little better if it had been told in a more linear fashion. The acting certainly wasn't the greatest but I have seen worse.
The two leads had no chemistry and the 'romance' felt forced. Where it fails the worst though is the low production values and the over-the-top dialogue.
I'd give it a 2/5 stars. Certainly some of the longest 80 odd minutes out of my day.
Any comments? Arguments? If there's anything I can do better, please, let me know. I'm open to suggestions!
Check back in a day or two for my review of Session 9.
(movie)
When October hit I was hoping to do one movie and post per day. But, as you can probably tell, that's not working out so well. So, I'll try to do at least every other day and hopefully do one per day the week before Halloween. I'm still working on The Shining so that is still to come. Probably early next week since I'm about halfway through it. Tonight I'll be watching Session 9 so that should be up either tomorrow or the day after.
But, in the meantime, let's pick on The Secret Village.
Synopsis:
The movie begins by showing us some text about a witchcraft scare in 1666 (get it, get it?) which was blamed on a slave who was hung for the deed. Later it was traced to an outbreak of ergot poisoning.
A journalist named Rachel is doing a story on The Village, the poisoning, or both. She has an informant from The Village who tells her that The Village does not like reporters snooping around. They're so ashamed of their history that they won't talk about it and may even kill to protect their secret. They have no police force and are self-governed. The government does not even know they exist.
Scariness ensues after she connects another mass tragedy on the same date in 1999 (get it, get it!?) and starts to suspect another one may be transpiring. Black-cloaked cultists from The Village start tailing her. As do two mysterious men in a sedan. I call them Goatee and Leather since we never learn their names.
There's a twist (of course) and the movie ends.
The Pickings:
Spoilers ahoy!
The movie opens with a guy named Greg driving and arguing with his girlfriend on a cell phone. It appears they've broken up. He arrives at a house that he is apparently renting with two women as his roommates. Rachel and Mary. You might be thinking at this point that Greg is our main character. No. After arriving at the house the story mostly follows Rachel with a few appearances by Greg. And who is Mary? You might be asking. I have no idea. We never see her, never know anything about her and after two brief mentions by Greg and Rachel, we never hear of her again. Just one of the many loose ends that the movie leaves dangling.
Rachel interviews Paul, her informant, who reiterates over and over how just by talking to her their lives could be in danger, don't trust anyone and don't talk to anyone else about The Village. Although their conversation is mostly about ergot poisoning and it's effects. Apparently she's never heard of Google.
So, afterward she does what any reasonable person would do. She starts asking anyone and everyone about The Village. Well, three people anyway. It never really shows a village. I saw three houses, one maybe two graveyards, a restaurant and a Very Mysterious Building. I'm not even sure where these buildings are in relation to each other.
We're treated to a scene of Goatee about to be jumped by a bunch of teens wielding PVC pipe (that sounds extremely light and hollow when it's dropped). He fights them off and they flee but he manages to catch one of the boys and injects something into his neck.
Rachel and Greg take a stroll and we learn he is there to write a screenplay about The Village and it's cult. I guess The Village isn't so secret after all. It should be called The Easily Findable Not-So-Secret Village. He tells her about the cult but it's a little unclear whether he means an actual cult or one that he's going to make up for his screenplay. He whines a bit about how his girlfriend is a meanie and doesn't support his dream and wants him to find a 'real' job. It's a little hard to feel sorry for him because unless you're a genius, most people do have to work a day job while they write. It's called 'paying the bills'. During this stroll we see Goatee again, chasing a young woman and again, injecting her with something.
The movie isn't really too bad up until this point. It's a little cheesy, but not bad. It's at this point that the movie starts to really go off the rails.
Rachel meets up with Paul again who is in great distress (and dressed like Colonel Mustard). The Villagers are portrayed with really old-fashioned clothes but not from any specific era. He's freaking out about being seen together and to come to his house next time. Which is a strange place to meet if you're afraid of being watched but whatever. He throws a couple warnings at her. Then, he sees a ghost that Rachel does not see. That will be important information later.
The packet he gave her contained a hand-drawn map to a cemetery that looks remarkably well-kept and maintained for being 'secret'. This is where I got confused whether there was one or two cemeteries. There are a lot of time jumps so I'm not sure if there are two separate cemeteries or different shots of the same one, sometimes her clothes were the only thing to go by. The Ghost Girl also makes an appearance here as well. And again Rachel does not see her.
It got pretty annoying after a while. In the meantime she starts running into black-cloaked cultists (I mean, does any cultist worth it's salt wear any other color?) and by two men in a sedan, Goatee and Leather.
Greg goes along with Rachel over to Paul's house for some more info but does not go inside. She comes running out, followed closely by Goatee and Leather. She tells Greg that Paul is dead. And because cops don't exist in that Village (or anywhere else apparently) they don't report it.
Rachel goes to work, out of the blue, at the restaurant. She is pretty adamant that she's not doing it for the money. It's to get close to the townspeople (or Village People, if you prefer).
There are three conflicting scenes here. In one, Greg, along with Leather, followed her to work. Leather takes off after seeing Greg. In one scene, Greg says that he will see her at the house and leaves. In another, Greg kisses her before leaving. And in yet another Leather speaks to her before leaving. So, take your pick. They're all equally likely.
Greg goes to Paul's house and Goatee opens the door. End scene.
Greg disappears for a bit and Rachel starts getting freaked out. After Paul's demise she gets help from an African-American man, named Jim, who claims he's helping her because it was his ancestor that was executed. He shows her a building where he claims the cult is keeping prisoners and experimenting on them with the ergot.
Greg comes back and tries to get her to leave with him but she decides to take a shower first. After she gets out she sees Greg snooping through her laptop and take two of her books outside and give them to Leather. She locks Greg out, gets dressed (in a nifty black dress and heels, because when you're being chased by cult members it's important to look your best). She meets Jim at The Very Mysterious House and he shows her the kids that are being experimented on. She takes a few pictures and calls her editor to send the police there. He's more concerned that she missed the arbitrary deadline for her piece and the phone breaks up. Because apparently the phone in her hand could not in any way, shape or form be used as a phone. Greg injects her with something and we fade out to the big 'surprise'.
Rachel was suffering from ergot poisoning the entire time and hallucinated Paul, Jim, and the cult. Leather and Goatee are real. They are the actual owners of the home she believed was Paul's. So, yeah, I'm sure they were pretty surprised when this random chick walked into their house and started questioning thin air. So, they were chasing her down to try and help her. Because, you know, stalking is the best way to approach an obviously mentally unstable woman. When they spoke to Greg they told him they knew a 'specialist doctor' in New York that Greg could go see him. That was what he injected her with. Because doctors don't need to actually see their patients before diagnosing and prescribing for them I guess.
The twist, frankly, sucks. It's telegraphed a mile away. Plus, the movie flat-out cheats to try and make us believe that Rachel is in deadly peril. First it shows us Goatee injecting the kid. If it's real, then why? If it's not, then huh? Also, Ghost Girl that Paul saw and Rachel did not. So, her hallucinations are seeing ghosts? And Ghost Girl also appears at the cemetery where literally nobody sees it.
Again, some of it just makes no sense. There are no police in The Village = No police anywhere. She has a phone that works. She's constantly calling her editor, so we know the phone works. Why doesn't she call? Or better yet, drive the fuck on out of there. She has a car that runs perfectly. She's in fear for life but she stays? And it's not because of the big 'thing' that's being planned. That gets dropped almost right away.
The side-effects of the poisoning are very convenient, as well. She only gets the hallucinations. No shakes, no gastrointestinal gangrene. Other than the stuff she's seeing, she's fine!
Also, the scene where Greg gives the books to Leather makes absolutely no sense, either. It looks purposely manufactured to just draw out the suspense.
So, what's the deal? It almost feels like they started with one idea, then someone said, "I have a great idea for a twist!" and it went from there.
You can see the seeds of a really good idea but it was buried under too many time-shifts in an effort to be clever. It would have been at least a little better if it had been told in a more linear fashion. The acting certainly wasn't the greatest but I have seen worse.
The two leads had no chemistry and the 'romance' felt forced. Where it fails the worst though is the low production values and the over-the-top dialogue.
I'd give it a 2/5 stars. Certainly some of the longest 80 odd minutes out of my day.
Any comments? Arguments? If there's anything I can do better, please, let me know. I'm open to suggestions!
Check back in a day or two for my review of Session 9.
Sunday, October 4, 2015
THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT
Well, let's get out of the house for a bit, shall we? Care for a walk in the woods?
The Blair Witch Project (1999)
Directed by: Daniel Myrick and Eduardo Sanchez
Cast: Heather Donahue, Michael C. Williams, and Joshua Leonard
Synopsis:
Three college students doing a documentary on the legend of the Blair Witch. They do some interviews in town, hike into the woods and are never seen again. Their film is found a few years later by an archeological dig. The film is processed and put together in an attempt to learn what happened to them.
The Pickings:
I love this movie. And I'm not ashamed to say that I believed it was true when it first came out in theaters and I was kind of bummed when it turned out not to be. I think their strategy was brilliant. It may not have been original or unique (Cannibal Holocaust did it first) but their manipulation of the available media was great.
Anyways, on to the story!
It starts out kind of slow with them getting ready and the interviews in town but I love the set-up of the story. I'm a sucker for supernatural horror, ghosts, hauntings and all of that. So this was right up my alley. My favorite part of them is the research part.
I love the part where Heather is adamant about there being 'no cheese' in their documentary then in the next shot she's got the cheesiest documentary narrator voice.
The action picks up one they get in the woods.
They first visit Coffin Rock and then continue on to what they call 'the graveyard'. Ok, while watching this I couldn't help but think that their documentary was going to be awfully short. There's about 15 minutes worth of interviews in town, about 5 minutes at Coffin Rock and about 5 minutes at the graveyard in the woods. That's barely half an hour. Also the 'graveyard' in the woods is never fully explained. There are seven rock piles, presumably to go with the kids Elly Kedward killed or the kids that Rustin Parr killed but it never really says. One other thing that doesn't make sense to me. Heather gets all freaked out about Josh accidentally kicking over a pile of stones but she takes one of the stick figures in the trees. We don't actually see her do this but when Josh is telling at her later he says something about taking one of the stick figures.
Things really start going to hell after that. You can feel the tension between the three of them almost from the start. Especially between Josh and Heather. The atmosphere that the movie creates is amazing. It just keeps getting layered thicker and thicker the longer they're in the woods.
The actors do a good job of portraying it all realistically. I think that is what sells it. They're cold, they're hungry, they're tired. They can't sleep at night because things keep messing with them. And they do it well. There are a lot of fights, even a couple of physical ones. One between Josh and Heather and one between Mike and Josh and Heather when Mike kicks the map into the stream. Incidentally, another great part. Mike is laughing, Josh laughs along with him thinking they're just laughing at the absurdity of the situation, Heather thinks they're messing with her about the map and/or laughing at her being wet and uncomfortable (she seems a little on the paranoid side sometimes). Until Mike reveals that he kicked the map in the river. Josh's laughter trails off and they both go dead quiet. It's perfect.
The minimal effects are great and much creepier than if they had thrown buckets of CGI at it. That might be another reason it was critically praised. So much nineties horror was glutted with CGI effects so going back to minimal effects was almost like it was brand new. There's not much there but what is there is effective. Something attacks them in their tent, they hear cackles and branches snapping around them. They awake one morning to find three piles of rocks outside of their tent, piles that are eerily similar to the ones in the graveyard. They hear the laughter of children in the night. That one especially always makes my scalp crawl. There's nothing more innocent sounding than the laughter of children on a playground. The laughter of children in the middle of the night, in the middle of the forest, is something else entirely.
Something chases them from their tent in the middle of the night and when they return in the morning the tent is collapsed and Josh's things are strewn about and covered with slime.
When they awake the next morning Josh is gone but ask of his things are still there, negating the possibility that he just took off and ditched them. They stay there to look for him and that night hear him screaming in the dark. Which is another part that I love. Heather and Mike are debating going to him and Mike really wants to but they don't go far from the tent. Why? Because they're scared. Y'know like real people would be. The next morning they find a bundle of sticks tied up with a strip of Josh's shirt outside their tent. To pacify Mike, Heather carries it away but later, when he's not there she opens itonly to find a smaller bundle of Josh's shirt, soaked with blood. She opens that as well and finds blood, teeth and a bit of tongue perhaps. The teeth are definite but it's hard to see what piece of meat it is. I'll go with tongue although there are certainly other meaty bits I could suggest.
I only mention this part in detail because it's one of my favorite scenes. Heather totally loses her shit altogether but doesn't want Mike to know. To me it felt like she felt so guilty at getting them into this mess that she doesn't want to scare Mike more than he already is. As though right now it's the least she can do for him. Also, right after that they're putting their packs on to continue walking. She's visibly upset but tells Mike that nothing's wrong. Then she catches her hair on the pack and just kind of whimpers and crumples up until Mike untangles it. Like that is just the last straw and she just can't take anymore at that moment. It has a very real feeling to it. I'm sure we've all been there. Where things are just going so bad but we're ok and then something comparatively little happens, like we stub our toe. And that is just it. We're done, if even for the moment.
I read on Wikipedia that Heather Donahue was nominated for and won the Golden Raspberry. I dint really see why. True, she's not a great actress but what they all do works in the context of the movie. In a more polished production it would be more noticeable but conversely a more polished performance would stick out like a sore thumb in this movie. And really, I've seen less convincing 'acting' on some of the recent ghost-hunting shows.
The house, to me, is by far the creepiest part of the movie with the runes and the handprints on the wall. There's also a really eerie effect that happens with the cameras. I don't know if it was intentional or not but it works. Heather is carrying the B&W camera without the sound. Mike had the camera with sound. So when we see out of Heather's camera we are actually hearing her scream from a totally different part of the house. It's unsettling.
Probably the biggest flaw of the film (besides some parts being so shaky it actually made some movie-goers throw up from motion sickness) is that Heather, Josh and Mike aren't particularly likeable. Well, Mike isn't so bad (besides some map-kicking proclivities) and frequently plays peace-maker between Heather and Josh. Heather is pretty bossy right from the start. She makes it pretty clear that this is her project and she's in charge. She frequently insists that she's right and interrupts people when they're talking. A lot. Josh makes it pretty clear that he doesn't like being told what to do and you can almost see the resentment building.
Which begs the question. When things really start going off the rails Josh and Mike make it pretty clear that they blame Heather for getting them lost and tell her flat-out that they don't trust her judgement or leadership. However, neither of them have any suggestions of their own and continue to follow Heather. Nothing is really stopping either of them from taking charge or suggesting a different course of action but they don't. They're just as happy following Heather because this way they don't have any responsibility and can blame someone else when things start going wrong. Maybe we can sympathize with Josh when he finally does lose it about all the videotaping still going on but at the same time what does it really matter? If she puts down the camera they'll still be just as lost and confused so really he just looks like a jerk.
You can definitely tell they're city (or at the least suburban) kids. Especially Heather's remark that it is almost impossible to get that lost in America anymore. Um, no. It depends on where you are but there are still woods thick enough that by getting lost you can be really screwed.
Is it the greatest be all, end all of horror movies? No. But it is far, far from the worst. In my eyes that dishonorable title will always be reserved for The Fog (2005).
I give it a solid 3 1/2 out of 5 on my personal scale.
Any thoughts? Do you disagree with anything? Any ideas on how I can make my blog better? I'm always open to criticism or just to debate movies. Leave a comment!
I'm still reading The Shining by Stephen King so that should be coming soon and we just watched Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 so that should be up by the day after tomorrow at the latest.
I think by now it's safe to say that one movie, one review for each day of October is probably not going to be happening but I'll try my damndest to at least get them out every other day.
Happy Monday fellow ghouls and goblins!
Well, let's get out of the house for a bit, shall we? Care for a walk in the woods?
The Blair Witch Project (1999)
Directed by: Daniel Myrick and Eduardo Sanchez
Cast: Heather Donahue, Michael C. Williams, and Joshua Leonard
Synopsis:
Three college students doing a documentary on the legend of the Blair Witch. They do some interviews in town, hike into the woods and are never seen again. Their film is found a few years later by an archeological dig. The film is processed and put together in an attempt to learn what happened to them.
The Pickings:
I love this movie. And I'm not ashamed to say that I believed it was true when it first came out in theaters and I was kind of bummed when it turned out not to be. I think their strategy was brilliant. It may not have been original or unique (Cannibal Holocaust did it first) but their manipulation of the available media was great.
Anyways, on to the story!
It starts out kind of slow with them getting ready and the interviews in town but I love the set-up of the story. I'm a sucker for supernatural horror, ghosts, hauntings and all of that. So this was right up my alley. My favorite part of them is the research part.
I love the part where Heather is adamant about there being 'no cheese' in their documentary then in the next shot she's got the cheesiest documentary narrator voice.
The action picks up one they get in the woods.
They first visit Coffin Rock and then continue on to what they call 'the graveyard'. Ok, while watching this I couldn't help but think that their documentary was going to be awfully short. There's about 15 minutes worth of interviews in town, about 5 minutes at Coffin Rock and about 5 minutes at the graveyard in the woods. That's barely half an hour. Also the 'graveyard' in the woods is never fully explained. There are seven rock piles, presumably to go with the kids Elly Kedward killed or the kids that Rustin Parr killed but it never really says. One other thing that doesn't make sense to me. Heather gets all freaked out about Josh accidentally kicking over a pile of stones but she takes one of the stick figures in the trees. We don't actually see her do this but when Josh is telling at her later he says something about taking one of the stick figures.
Things really start going to hell after that. You can feel the tension between the three of them almost from the start. Especially between Josh and Heather. The atmosphere that the movie creates is amazing. It just keeps getting layered thicker and thicker the longer they're in the woods.
The actors do a good job of portraying it all realistically. I think that is what sells it. They're cold, they're hungry, they're tired. They can't sleep at night because things keep messing with them. And they do it well. There are a lot of fights, even a couple of physical ones. One between Josh and Heather and one between Mike and Josh and Heather when Mike kicks the map into the stream. Incidentally, another great part. Mike is laughing, Josh laughs along with him thinking they're just laughing at the absurdity of the situation, Heather thinks they're messing with her about the map and/or laughing at her being wet and uncomfortable (she seems a little on the paranoid side sometimes). Until Mike reveals that he kicked the map in the river. Josh's laughter trails off and they both go dead quiet. It's perfect.
The minimal effects are great and much creepier than if they had thrown buckets of CGI at it. That might be another reason it was critically praised. So much nineties horror was glutted with CGI effects so going back to minimal effects was almost like it was brand new. There's not much there but what is there is effective. Something attacks them in their tent, they hear cackles and branches snapping around them. They awake one morning to find three piles of rocks outside of their tent, piles that are eerily similar to the ones in the graveyard. They hear the laughter of children in the night. That one especially always makes my scalp crawl. There's nothing more innocent sounding than the laughter of children on a playground. The laughter of children in the middle of the night, in the middle of the forest, is something else entirely.
Something chases them from their tent in the middle of the night and when they return in the morning the tent is collapsed and Josh's things are strewn about and covered with slime.
When they awake the next morning Josh is gone but ask of his things are still there, negating the possibility that he just took off and ditched them. They stay there to look for him and that night hear him screaming in the dark. Which is another part that I love. Heather and Mike are debating going to him and Mike really wants to but they don't go far from the tent. Why? Because they're scared. Y'know like real people would be. The next morning they find a bundle of sticks tied up with a strip of Josh's shirt outside their tent. To pacify Mike, Heather carries it away but later, when he's not there she opens itonly to find a smaller bundle of Josh's shirt, soaked with blood. She opens that as well and finds blood, teeth and a bit of tongue perhaps. The teeth are definite but it's hard to see what piece of meat it is. I'll go with tongue although there are certainly other meaty bits I could suggest.
I only mention this part in detail because it's one of my favorite scenes. Heather totally loses her shit altogether but doesn't want Mike to know. To me it felt like she felt so guilty at getting them into this mess that she doesn't want to scare Mike more than he already is. As though right now it's the least she can do for him. Also, right after that they're putting their packs on to continue walking. She's visibly upset but tells Mike that nothing's wrong. Then she catches her hair on the pack and just kind of whimpers and crumples up until Mike untangles it. Like that is just the last straw and she just can't take anymore at that moment. It has a very real feeling to it. I'm sure we've all been there. Where things are just going so bad but we're ok and then something comparatively little happens, like we stub our toe. And that is just it. We're done, if even for the moment.
I read on Wikipedia that Heather Donahue was nominated for and won the Golden Raspberry. I dint really see why. True, she's not a great actress but what they all do works in the context of the movie. In a more polished production it would be more noticeable but conversely a more polished performance would stick out like a sore thumb in this movie. And really, I've seen less convincing 'acting' on some of the recent ghost-hunting shows.
The house, to me, is by far the creepiest part of the movie with the runes and the handprints on the wall. There's also a really eerie effect that happens with the cameras. I don't know if it was intentional or not but it works. Heather is carrying the B&W camera without the sound. Mike had the camera with sound. So when we see out of Heather's camera we are actually hearing her scream from a totally different part of the house. It's unsettling.
Probably the biggest flaw of the film (besides some parts being so shaky it actually made some movie-goers throw up from motion sickness) is that Heather, Josh and Mike aren't particularly likeable. Well, Mike isn't so bad (besides some map-kicking proclivities) and frequently plays peace-maker between Heather and Josh. Heather is pretty bossy right from the start. She makes it pretty clear that this is her project and she's in charge. She frequently insists that she's right and interrupts people when they're talking. A lot. Josh makes it pretty clear that he doesn't like being told what to do and you can almost see the resentment building.
Which begs the question. When things really start going off the rails Josh and Mike make it pretty clear that they blame Heather for getting them lost and tell her flat-out that they don't trust her judgement or leadership. However, neither of them have any suggestions of their own and continue to follow Heather. Nothing is really stopping either of them from taking charge or suggesting a different course of action but they don't. They're just as happy following Heather because this way they don't have any responsibility and can blame someone else when things start going wrong. Maybe we can sympathize with Josh when he finally does lose it about all the videotaping still going on but at the same time what does it really matter? If she puts down the camera they'll still be just as lost and confused so really he just looks like a jerk.
You can definitely tell they're city (or at the least suburban) kids. Especially Heather's remark that it is almost impossible to get that lost in America anymore. Um, no. It depends on where you are but there are still woods thick enough that by getting lost you can be really screwed.
Is it the greatest be all, end all of horror movies? No. But it is far, far from the worst. In my eyes that dishonorable title will always be reserved for The Fog (2005).
I give it a solid 3 1/2 out of 5 on my personal scale.
Any thoughts? Do you disagree with anything? Any ideas on how I can make my blog better? I'm always open to criticism or just to debate movies. Leave a comment!
I'm still reading The Shining by Stephen King so that should be coming soon and we just watched Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 so that should be up by the day after tomorrow at the latest.
I think by now it's safe to say that one movie, one review for each day of October is probably not going to be happening but I'll try my damndest to at least get them out every other day.
Happy Monday fellow ghouls and goblins!
Friday, October 2, 2015
Picking On: THE HOUSE NEXT DOOR (movie)
2 out of 5
It's officially October! My favorite month of the year. It's the only time people expect you to watch horror movies non-stop and just generally be creepy. Which I love because it's really the one holiday I don't have to decorate for. My house is generally dark and creepy anyway.
On with the 31 Days of Horror! Really, can someone help me with a name? 31 Days of Horror sounds like some promotion a grocery store might be running. Let's see, yesterday I did The House Next Door (novel) so today, to kick off the horror movie love, I'll do the movie. Which truthfully isn't all that scary. I mean, please, it was put out by the Lifetime Movie Network. How scary can it be? Well, follow me and we'll just see!
The Pickings:
The story is basically the same. You know, house goes in next door, bad stuff happens, the end. Plus, I just did the recap of the book yesterday so I won't inflict that on you again. I will just cut straight to the pickings and the changes from the book to the movie.
I am one of those people that everyone hates to watch a movie with if it has been based on a book. I hate when they change things. I can see why they would have to leave some stuff out or make some changes here and there because a book follows a different narrative than a movie. I get it. I really do. What I don't get is when they make bizarre casting decisions, change names or completely change a character's entire personality.
For instance, Colquitt's husband in the book is named Walter. In the movie they changed it to Walker. I'm not really sure why. Maybe because the book was originally written in 1978 and the movie is in a more modern setting. Walter sounds a bit old-fashioned to modern ears.
Book Virginia is described as an older lady, probably in her fifties but still very attractive. She's also described as being very prim and proper and elegant but kind, warm and caring. Movie Virginia seems only slightly older than the other women on the street and also prim and proper but also snooty.
Book Claire is described as "sturdy, earthy and low to the ground, built for stamina, not speed". Movie Claire is tallish, quite attractive and very slim. Her character in the movie is also a bit more uppity than in the book.
Book Eloise is barely a character. She only appears here and there and is always portrayed as a tacky gossip whom Colquitt avoids when she can. Movie Eloise is also a bit tacky but also seems to be good friends with Colquitt and Claire.
Book Kim is described in the book as being in his twenties with red hair and tall and slim. Movie Kim is played by Mark Paul Gosselar of Saved by the Bell fame. For those of you not quite old enough to remember that show he's quite a Californian pretty boy.
Colquitt is played by Lara Flynn Boyle. They also changed Colquitt's name to just Col which isn't so bad because in the book Colquitt is shortened to 'Col' a lot so it doesn't really seem that different. Colquitt never describes herself in the book, surprising considering how vain she is in the book, so she could be spot on I guess. They also changed her job from a Public Relations person to an interior decorator for some bizarre reason. Oh, and she also paints. The only reason I can think of for this is to give her an artistic flair that would link her more with Kim. I don't know what she did to her lips but she really should not have. They're a weird, lopsided, collagen mess. I thought she was quite pretty in Twin Peaks in a wholesome girl-next-door way and very sexy in Men in Black 2. It's a shame when actresses mess with their natural beauty.
The movie starts out basically the same way. The house goes up next door and Colquitt and Kim get over-friendly way too fast. In the book she seemed to treat him more like a college aged son rather than a flirtation but if there's anything this movie does it is beat you over the head with foreshadowing and trying to create sexual tension. Buddy and Pie are introduced and are much more quiet and likeable in the movie than they are in the book. Pie and Colquitt become friends quite quickly. The puppy meets its fate and for some reason instead of coming to the more logical conclusion of a wild animal doing the poor pup in Pie immediately wonders if she's cursed and being punished for wanting a drop dead gorgeous house to show her daddy up for not liking Buddy. I don't know. It seemed weird to me that she would automatically go there. The inevitable housewarming party is held. In the midst of it Walker (along with all the gossipy neighbours/frenemies) sees Colquitt consoling Kim by caressing his face and giving him a pretty intimate embrace. Which, weirdly, she doesn't even attempt to explain. Pie goes looking for Buddy. Thinking he might be in the basement, she starts down and a hand comes from behind and pushes her down the stairs. Colquitt is the only one who hears and rushes to see what's wrong. She calls for help and Pie (who seems to be pretty damn ok for just having taken a nasty fall) starts screaming that Buddy pushed her. He's taken away in a police car (apparently he did push her but doesn't knew why and keeps saying he's sorry). I thought at first she was wrong or something as he pushed her from behind and was nowhere around. But anyway, she's taken away in an ambulance and later tells Colquitt she lost the baby. So, there go Buddy and Pie.
The next to move in are the Sheehans and again, Anita Sheehan is nothing like in the book. She is described as being frail, anxious, timid and thin from being just recently released from the hospital. Here, however, she's a robust , loud woman who kind of looks like she would do well as a gardener or horsewoman. Virginia and Buck start flirting right away, practically right under Anita's nose. Again, trying to hammer it on home that Something Will Happen. Colquitt learns they have a boy in Iraq (a bit of an update from the Vietnam War) but Anita doesn't tell her that he's dead. As they're all hanging out at The House (Virginia still flirting quite shamelessly) a pizza delivery boy is mistaken by Anita as their son. That's when everyone find out that he's dead. A kind of weird argument happens between Colquitt and Walker where he basically accuses her of not knowing he was dead. How she could have known is beyond me or that it would have even mattered at that moment. While visiting another day Colquitt witness Anita getting some strange calls that seem to upset her. Then Anita really tweaks out when she sees a boy on tv going down in a chopper. He appears to be looking right at her and screaming "Ma, help me!"
Ok, this whole part was scripted weird in my opinion. Anita, for all intents and purposes, has just seen her son die in a fiery crash and she seems...happy... about it? She's crying and laughing and screaming, "It's Toby! It's my son!" over and over. As though she's just damn happy to see him die. It's weird. And Colquitt is just standing there looking like she's mildly interested but had the flattest expression on her face. To be fair she looks like that for most of the movie but in that scene it's especially noticeable.
A short time after, Colquitt takes a package over and finds Anita on the couch, channel during endlessly, looking for her son. She tells Colquitt that Buck is upstairs. Colquitt, a little worried and creeped out, goes in search of him. She finds Virginia and Buck in a very passionate embrace. Virginia runs out, threatening to kill Colquitt if she says anything. They all rush downstairs and find Anita, hanging from the rafters, dead.
Goodbye Sheehans.
Things settle down for a bit as the house stands empty. Until...
Kim comes over for a drink (and judging by the passage of time he's there for quite a while) with Colquitt. They start talking about the house and Kim dares her to go over with him.
This might be a good time to point out how much Kim departs from his book counterpart. In the book the relationship between him and Colquitt is strictly platonic. She seems to think of him more like a grown-up kid of hers. He also seems obsessed with the house but only because he knows something is wrong with the house. In the movie he's just flat-out obsessed with it, calling it MY house all the time. There's a scene, apparently after the Harralsons have moved in where he's just wandering about in the house with them there. I don't care if someone designed my house that wouldn't give him the right to wander in and out whenever he took a mind to. He also programmed the security system with his own code (and for some reason none of the owners bother to change it which is slightly weird to me).
Back to the story- Kim and Colquitt go to the house at night and end up kissing passionately on the couch. Walker comes in, catches them and a fight ensues. He gives Kim a good kick to the head and goes after Colquitt. They tussle a bit and he chases her outside. She breaks through to him and the next scene is them at home. I guess they just left Kim possibly concussed or dead at The House.
There follows a touching scene with Walker apologizing and generally wallowing in guilt. Which is weird that through it all Colquitt never says anything, denies any feelings for Kim or anything. She only says she never wants to see Kim again. She doesn't even apologize or anything.
Claire gets mad at Colquitt for not telling her why Virginia has suddenly taken off. When Colquitt does try to tell her and Eloise about The House Claire still gets mad at her.
See, that's why they all seem to be frenemies, not real friends. They turn on each other at the slightest provocation.
A new family moved in, the Greene's. Norman, Susan and their daughter Melissa. Colquitt, who says at the very beginning that she and Walker are childless by choice, goes all gooey about the little girl. Melissa spends quite a bit of time with them. Norman seems to be a control-freak who's belittling phrase of choice is unintentionally hilarious and creepy at the same time -"What's wrong with this picture, tell me sister".
Things come to a head over there as well and Susan ends up killing Norman and then turns the gun on herself. Which is another major departure from the book as the little girl dies as well in the book.
Kim returns from Europe and pious in to see Walker and Colquitt with his new bride. He tells them that he has bought HIS house and tells Colquitt she's just a frustrated housewife and Walker is an absentee husband, no wonder they're making things up about the house.
At this point the movie circles back to where it started, with Walker and Colquitt planning in torching the house. They attempt to but are thwarted by Kim. And then poof! A giant gas explosion that by all rights should have killed all the of them miraculously only kills Kim.
The movie ends with Walker and Colquitt on a beach, playing with Melissa. The implication being that they adopted her. A happy ending is had by everyone!
Or...is it?
The movie ends much the same way the book does, with a new young couple looking at Jim's design in breathless wonder.
I did it again, didn't I? Ok, it's a little long. But it is shorter than the book synopsis.
As far as adaptations go it's reasonably faithful to the book. I've seen a lot worse (Peter Jackson I'm looking at you and what you did to The Hobbit!).
The acting is reasonably good, especially for Lifetime which seems to tend toward the over-dramatic in the few that I have seen. Lara Flynn Boyle was a bit of a disappointment. She goes through the movie with the same expression no matter what is going on and in some scenes it particularly stands out. Especially the more emotionally weighted ones.
The House itself is pretty ugly in my opinion. For being described as 'almost alive' and looking 'like it grew out of the ground' I expected a more natural look to it. Maybe more wood or stone or something like that. But I suppose a contemporary style home would be mostly glass and metal. I really don't know since house types aren't exactly my forte.
The worst flaws in the movie are the same ones shared by the book. With three different families moving in and out the impact of what happens to them is lessened by not really getting enough time to know them or care about them.
Some of the character changes were a good idea. Such as making Pie a lot more low-key instead of bubbly and childish. Colquitt is much less narcissistic in the movie.
Some were a little baffling though. Such as Kim's total obsession with HIS house. He is obsessed with it in the book too but in a different way.
Another way the movie fails a bit also is beating you over the head with foreshadowing. You can just tell Buck and Virginia are going to be hooking up. If I had been Anita I think I might have said something about their blatant flirting. Also Colquitt and Kim being so attracted to each other. Part of how the house works is by taking the thing you cherish most in yourself and your life and using it against you to destroy you and your life. Like when Virginia falls into bed with Buck in the book it is so shocking because Virginia was shown to be someone who cares about her self-control and also cares deeply about other people and truly wants to help them. In the movie she's flirty right off the bat and so stuck up that it's not wildly surprising when it does happen. There is just no time spent on establishing who these people are and the traits that are used against them by The House. In the movie it just seems to be who they are and that it probably would have happened with our without The House's intervention.
Colquitt's rapid change of heart about children is a little baffling as well. Mostly because they're not consistent with it. In the beginning she states bluntly that her and Walker have no children by choice. Then, in a later conversation, Eloise brings up a fertility doctor. Colquitt looks uncomfortable and Claire chides her for being tactless and indiscreet as though Colquitt and Walker have been trying but have been having problems. I'm assuming they have her yearning over Melissa so they could have their happy ending and not have to show a child getting killed violently.
Well! I think I've dissected that poor movie almost to death! I promise tomorrow's post will be a bit shorter.
To continue the 31 days of horror up tomorrow will be The Blair Witch Project. I promise it will be a bit shorter.
Again, if there's anything I can improve our if you have any suggestions just let me know! As I said, this is my first blog (I'm sure it shows) so I'm always open to constructive criticism. See you tomorrow!
2 out of 5
It's officially October! My favorite month of the year. It's the only time people expect you to watch horror movies non-stop and just generally be creepy. Which I love because it's really the one holiday I don't have to decorate for. My house is generally dark and creepy anyway.
On with the 31 Days of Horror! Really, can someone help me with a name? 31 Days of Horror sounds like some promotion a grocery store might be running. Let's see, yesterday I did The House Next Door (novel) so today, to kick off the horror movie love, I'll do the movie. Which truthfully isn't all that scary. I mean, please, it was put out by the Lifetime Movie Network. How scary can it be? Well, follow me and we'll just see!
The Pickings:
The story is basically the same. You know, house goes in next door, bad stuff happens, the end. Plus, I just did the recap of the book yesterday so I won't inflict that on you again. I will just cut straight to the pickings and the changes from the book to the movie.
I am one of those people that everyone hates to watch a movie with if it has been based on a book. I hate when they change things. I can see why they would have to leave some stuff out or make some changes here and there because a book follows a different narrative than a movie. I get it. I really do. What I don't get is when they make bizarre casting decisions, change names or completely change a character's entire personality.
For instance, Colquitt's husband in the book is named Walter. In the movie they changed it to Walker. I'm not really sure why. Maybe because the book was originally written in 1978 and the movie is in a more modern setting. Walter sounds a bit old-fashioned to modern ears.
Book Virginia is described as an older lady, probably in her fifties but still very attractive. She's also described as being very prim and proper and elegant but kind, warm and caring. Movie Virginia seems only slightly older than the other women on the street and also prim and proper but also snooty.
Book Claire is described as "sturdy, earthy and low to the ground, built for stamina, not speed". Movie Claire is tallish, quite attractive and very slim. Her character in the movie is also a bit more uppity than in the book.
Book Eloise is barely a character. She only appears here and there and is always portrayed as a tacky gossip whom Colquitt avoids when she can. Movie Eloise is also a bit tacky but also seems to be good friends with Colquitt and Claire.
Book Kim is described in the book as being in his twenties with red hair and tall and slim. Movie Kim is played by Mark Paul Gosselar of Saved by the Bell fame. For those of you not quite old enough to remember that show he's quite a Californian pretty boy.
Colquitt is played by Lara Flynn Boyle. They also changed Colquitt's name to just Col which isn't so bad because in the book Colquitt is shortened to 'Col' a lot so it doesn't really seem that different. Colquitt never describes herself in the book, surprising considering how vain she is in the book, so she could be spot on I guess. They also changed her job from a Public Relations person to an interior decorator for some bizarre reason. Oh, and she also paints. The only reason I can think of for this is to give her an artistic flair that would link her more with Kim. I don't know what she did to her lips but she really should not have. They're a weird, lopsided, collagen mess. I thought she was quite pretty in Twin Peaks in a wholesome girl-next-door way and very sexy in Men in Black 2. It's a shame when actresses mess with their natural beauty.
The movie starts out basically the same way. The house goes up next door and Colquitt and Kim get over-friendly way too fast. In the book she seemed to treat him more like a college aged son rather than a flirtation but if there's anything this movie does it is beat you over the head with foreshadowing and trying to create sexual tension. Buddy and Pie are introduced and are much more quiet and likeable in the movie than they are in the book. Pie and Colquitt become friends quite quickly. The puppy meets its fate and for some reason instead of coming to the more logical conclusion of a wild animal doing the poor pup in Pie immediately wonders if she's cursed and being punished for wanting a drop dead gorgeous house to show her daddy up for not liking Buddy. I don't know. It seemed weird to me that she would automatically go there. The inevitable housewarming party is held. In the midst of it Walker (along with all the gossipy neighbours/frenemies) sees Colquitt consoling Kim by caressing his face and giving him a pretty intimate embrace. Which, weirdly, she doesn't even attempt to explain. Pie goes looking for Buddy. Thinking he might be in the basement, she starts down and a hand comes from behind and pushes her down the stairs. Colquitt is the only one who hears and rushes to see what's wrong. She calls for help and Pie (who seems to be pretty damn ok for just having taken a nasty fall) starts screaming that Buddy pushed her. He's taken away in a police car (apparently he did push her but doesn't knew why and keeps saying he's sorry). I thought at first she was wrong or something as he pushed her from behind and was nowhere around. But anyway, she's taken away in an ambulance and later tells Colquitt she lost the baby. So, there go Buddy and Pie.
The next to move in are the Sheehans and again, Anita Sheehan is nothing like in the book. She is described as being frail, anxious, timid and thin from being just recently released from the hospital. Here, however, she's a robust , loud woman who kind of looks like she would do well as a gardener or horsewoman. Virginia and Buck start flirting right away, practically right under Anita's nose. Again, trying to hammer it on home that Something Will Happen. Colquitt learns they have a boy in Iraq (a bit of an update from the Vietnam War) but Anita doesn't tell her that he's dead. As they're all hanging out at The House (Virginia still flirting quite shamelessly) a pizza delivery boy is mistaken by Anita as their son. That's when everyone find out that he's dead. A kind of weird argument happens between Colquitt and Walker where he basically accuses her of not knowing he was dead. How she could have known is beyond me or that it would have even mattered at that moment. While visiting another day Colquitt witness Anita getting some strange calls that seem to upset her. Then Anita really tweaks out when she sees a boy on tv going down in a chopper. He appears to be looking right at her and screaming "Ma, help me!"
Ok, this whole part was scripted weird in my opinion. Anita, for all intents and purposes, has just seen her son die in a fiery crash and she seems...happy... about it? She's crying and laughing and screaming, "It's Toby! It's my son!" over and over. As though she's just damn happy to see him die. It's weird. And Colquitt is just standing there looking like she's mildly interested but had the flattest expression on her face. To be fair she looks like that for most of the movie but in that scene it's especially noticeable.
A short time after, Colquitt takes a package over and finds Anita on the couch, channel during endlessly, looking for her son. She tells Colquitt that Buck is upstairs. Colquitt, a little worried and creeped out, goes in search of him. She finds Virginia and Buck in a very passionate embrace. Virginia runs out, threatening to kill Colquitt if she says anything. They all rush downstairs and find Anita, hanging from the rafters, dead.
Goodbye Sheehans.
Things settle down for a bit as the house stands empty. Until...
Kim comes over for a drink (and judging by the passage of time he's there for quite a while) with Colquitt. They start talking about the house and Kim dares her to go over with him.
This might be a good time to point out how much Kim departs from his book counterpart. In the book the relationship between him and Colquitt is strictly platonic. She seems to think of him more like a grown-up kid of hers. He also seems obsessed with the house but only because he knows something is wrong with the house. In the movie he's just flat-out obsessed with it, calling it MY house all the time. There's a scene, apparently after the Harralsons have moved in where he's just wandering about in the house with them there. I don't care if someone designed my house that wouldn't give him the right to wander in and out whenever he took a mind to. He also programmed the security system with his own code (and for some reason none of the owners bother to change it which is slightly weird to me).
Back to the story- Kim and Colquitt go to the house at night and end up kissing passionately on the couch. Walker comes in, catches them and a fight ensues. He gives Kim a good kick to the head and goes after Colquitt. They tussle a bit and he chases her outside. She breaks through to him and the next scene is them at home. I guess they just left Kim possibly concussed or dead at The House.
There follows a touching scene with Walker apologizing and generally wallowing in guilt. Which is weird that through it all Colquitt never says anything, denies any feelings for Kim or anything. She only says she never wants to see Kim again. She doesn't even apologize or anything.
Claire gets mad at Colquitt for not telling her why Virginia has suddenly taken off. When Colquitt does try to tell her and Eloise about The House Claire still gets mad at her.
See, that's why they all seem to be frenemies, not real friends. They turn on each other at the slightest provocation.
A new family moved in, the Greene's. Norman, Susan and their daughter Melissa. Colquitt, who says at the very beginning that she and Walker are childless by choice, goes all gooey about the little girl. Melissa spends quite a bit of time with them. Norman seems to be a control-freak who's belittling phrase of choice is unintentionally hilarious and creepy at the same time -"What's wrong with this picture, tell me sister".
Things come to a head over there as well and Susan ends up killing Norman and then turns the gun on herself. Which is another major departure from the book as the little girl dies as well in the book.
Kim returns from Europe and pious in to see Walker and Colquitt with his new bride. He tells them that he has bought HIS house and tells Colquitt she's just a frustrated housewife and Walker is an absentee husband, no wonder they're making things up about the house.
At this point the movie circles back to where it started, with Walker and Colquitt planning in torching the house. They attempt to but are thwarted by Kim. And then poof! A giant gas explosion that by all rights should have killed all the of them miraculously only kills Kim.
The movie ends with Walker and Colquitt on a beach, playing with Melissa. The implication being that they adopted her. A happy ending is had by everyone!
Or...is it?
The movie ends much the same way the book does, with a new young couple looking at Jim's design in breathless wonder.
I did it again, didn't I? Ok, it's a little long. But it is shorter than the book synopsis.
As far as adaptations go it's reasonably faithful to the book. I've seen a lot worse (Peter Jackson I'm looking at you and what you did to The Hobbit!).
The acting is reasonably good, especially for Lifetime which seems to tend toward the over-dramatic in the few that I have seen. Lara Flynn Boyle was a bit of a disappointment. She goes through the movie with the same expression no matter what is going on and in some scenes it particularly stands out. Especially the more emotionally weighted ones.
The House itself is pretty ugly in my opinion. For being described as 'almost alive' and looking 'like it grew out of the ground' I expected a more natural look to it. Maybe more wood or stone or something like that. But I suppose a contemporary style home would be mostly glass and metal. I really don't know since house types aren't exactly my forte.
The worst flaws in the movie are the same ones shared by the book. With three different families moving in and out the impact of what happens to them is lessened by not really getting enough time to know them or care about them.
Some of the character changes were a good idea. Such as making Pie a lot more low-key instead of bubbly and childish. Colquitt is much less narcissistic in the movie.
Some were a little baffling though. Such as Kim's total obsession with HIS house. He is obsessed with it in the book too but in a different way.
Another way the movie fails a bit also is beating you over the head with foreshadowing. You can just tell Buck and Virginia are going to be hooking up. If I had been Anita I think I might have said something about their blatant flirting. Also Colquitt and Kim being so attracted to each other. Part of how the house works is by taking the thing you cherish most in yourself and your life and using it against you to destroy you and your life. Like when Virginia falls into bed with Buck in the book it is so shocking because Virginia was shown to be someone who cares about her self-control and also cares deeply about other people and truly wants to help them. In the movie she's flirty right off the bat and so stuck up that it's not wildly surprising when it does happen. There is just no time spent on establishing who these people are and the traits that are used against them by The House. In the movie it just seems to be who they are and that it probably would have happened with our without The House's intervention.
Colquitt's rapid change of heart about children is a little baffling as well. Mostly because they're not consistent with it. In the beginning she states bluntly that her and Walker have no children by choice. Then, in a later conversation, Eloise brings up a fertility doctor. Colquitt looks uncomfortable and Claire chides her for being tactless and indiscreet as though Colquitt and Walker have been trying but have been having problems. I'm assuming they have her yearning over Melissa so they could have their happy ending and not have to show a child getting killed violently.
Well! I think I've dissected that poor movie almost to death! I promise tomorrow's post will be a bit shorter.
To continue the 31 days of horror up tomorrow will be The Blair Witch Project. I promise it will be a bit shorter.
Again, if there's anything I can improve our if you have any suggestions just let me know! As I said, this is my first blog (I'm sure it shows) so I'm always open to constructive criticism. See you tomorrow!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)