Picking On: THE HOUSE NEXT DOOR  (movie)
         
                                             2 out of 5 
 
  It's officially October! My favorite month of the year. It's the only time people expect you to watch horror movies non-stop and just generally be creepy. Which I love because it's really the one holiday I don't have to decorate for. My house is generally dark and creepy anyway.
  On with the 31 Days of Horror! Really, can someone help me with a name? 31 Days of Horror sounds like some promotion a grocery store might be running. Let's see, yesterday I did The House Next Door (novel) so today, to kick off the horror movie love, I'll do the movie. Which truthfully isn't all that scary. I mean, please, it was put out by the Lifetime Movie Network. How scary can it be? Well, follow me and we'll just see!


 The Pickings:
  The story is basically the same. You know, house goes in next door, bad stuff happens, the end. Plus, I just did the recap of the book yesterday so I won't inflict that on you again. I will just cut straight to the pickings and the changes from the book to the movie.
  I am one of those people that everyone hates to watch a movie with if it has been based on a book. I hate when they change things. I can see why they would have to leave some stuff out or make some changes here and there because a book follows a different narrative than a movie. I get it. I really do. What I don't get is when they make bizarre casting decisions, change names or completely change a character's entire personality.
  For instance, Colquitt's husband in the book is named Walter. In the movie they changed it to Walker. I'm not really sure why. Maybe because the book was originally written in 1978 and the movie is in a more modern setting. Walter sounds a bit old-fashioned to modern ears.
  Book Virginia is described as an older lady, probably in her fifties but still very attractive. She's also described as being very prim and proper and elegant but kind, warm and caring. Movie Virginia seems only slightly older than the other women on the street and also prim and proper but also snooty.
  Book Claire is described as "sturdy, earthy and low to the ground, built for stamina, not speed". Movie Claire is tallish, quite attractive and very slim. Her character in the movie is also a bit more uppity than in the book.
  Book Eloise is barely a character. She only appears here and there and is always portrayed as a tacky gossip whom Colquitt avoids when she can. Movie Eloise is also a bit tacky but also seems to be good friends with Colquitt and Claire.
  Book Kim is described in the book as being in his twenties with red hair and tall and slim. Movie Kim is played by Mark Paul Gosselar of Saved by the Bell fame. For those of you not quite old enough to remember that show he's quite a Californian pretty boy.
  Colquitt is played by Lara Flynn Boyle. They also changed Colquitt's name to just Col which isn't so bad because in the book Colquitt is shortened to 'Col' a lot so it doesn't really seem that different. Colquitt never describes herself in the book, surprising considering how vain she is in the book, so she could be spot on I guess. They also changed her job from a Public Relations person to an interior decorator for some bizarre reason.  Oh, and she also paints. The only reason I can think of for this is to give her an artistic flair that would link her more with Kim. I don't know what she did to her lips but she really should not have. They're a weird, lopsided, collagen mess. I thought she was quite pretty in Twin Peaks in a wholesome girl-next-door way and very sexy in Men in Black 2. It's a shame when actresses mess with their natural beauty.

 The movie starts out basically the same way. The house goes up next door and Colquitt and Kim get over-friendly way too fast. In the book she seemed to treat him more like a college aged son rather than a flirtation but if there's anything this movie does it is beat you over the head with foreshadowing and trying to create sexual tension. Buddy and Pie are introduced and are much more quiet and likeable in the movie than they are in the book. Pie and Colquitt become friends quite quickly. The puppy meets its fate and for some reason instead of coming to the more logical conclusion of a wild animal doing the poor pup in Pie immediately wonders if she's cursed and being punished for wanting a drop dead gorgeous house to show her daddy up for not liking Buddy. I don't know. It seemed weird to me that she would automatically go there. The inevitable housewarming party is held. In the midst of it Walker (along with all the gossipy neighbours/frenemies) sees Colquitt consoling Kim by caressing his face and giving him a pretty intimate embrace. Which, weirdly, she doesn't even attempt to explain. Pie goes looking for Buddy. Thinking he might be in the basement, she starts down and a hand comes from behind and pushes her down the stairs. Colquitt is the only one who hears and rushes to see what's wrong. She calls for help and Pie (who seems to be pretty damn ok for just having taken a nasty fall) starts screaming that Buddy pushed her. He's taken away in a police car (apparently he did push her but doesn't knew why and keeps saying he's sorry). I thought at first she was wrong or something as he pushed her from behind and was nowhere around. But anyway, she's taken away in an ambulance and later tells Colquitt she lost the baby. So, there go Buddy and Pie.
  The next to move in are the Sheehans and again, Anita Sheehan is nothing like in the book. She is described as being frail, anxious, timid and thin from being just recently released from the hospital. Here, however, she's a robust , loud woman who kind of looks like she would do well as a gardener or horsewoman. Virginia and Buck start flirting right away, practically right under Anita's nose. Again, trying to hammer it on home that Something Will Happen. Colquitt learns they have a boy in Iraq (a bit of an update from the Vietnam War) but Anita doesn't tell her that he's dead. As they're all hanging out at The House (Virginia still flirting quite shamelessly) a pizza delivery boy is mistaken by Anita as their son. That's when everyone find out that he's dead. A kind of weird argument happens between Colquitt and Walker where he basically accuses her of not knowing he was dead. How she could have known is beyond me or that it would have even mattered at that moment. While visiting another day Colquitt witness Anita getting some strange calls that seem to upset her. Then Anita really tweaks out when she sees a boy on tv going down in a chopper. He appears to be looking right at her and screaming "Ma, help me!"
 Ok, this whole part was scripted weird in my opinion. Anita, for all intents and purposes, has just seen her son die in a fiery crash and she seems...happy... about it? She's crying and laughing and screaming, "It's Toby! It's my son!" over and over. As though she's just damn happy to see him die. It's weird. And Colquitt is just standing there looking like she's mildly interested but had the flattest expression on her face. To be fair she looks like that for most of the movie but in that scene it's especially noticeable.
  A short time after, Colquitt takes a package over and finds Anita on the couch, channel during endlessly, looking for her son. She tells Colquitt that Buck is upstairs. Colquitt, a little worried and creeped out, goes in search of him. She finds Virginia and Buck in a very passionate embrace. Virginia runs out, threatening to kill Colquitt if she says anything. They all rush downstairs and find Anita, hanging from the rafters, dead.
  Goodbye Sheehans.
  Things settle down for a bit as the house stands empty.  Until...
  Kim comes over for a drink (and judging by the passage of time he's there for quite a while) with Colquitt. They start talking about the house and Kim dares her to go over with him.
  This might be a good time to point out how much Kim departs from his book counterpart. In the book the relationship between him and Colquitt is strictly platonic. She seems to think of him more like a grown-up kid of hers. He also seems obsessed with the house but only because he knows something is wrong with the house. In the movie he's just flat-out obsessed with it, calling it MY house all the time. There's a scene, apparently after the Harralsons have moved in where he's just wandering about in the house with them there. I don't care if someone designed my house that wouldn't give him the right to wander in and out whenever he took a mind to. He also programmed the security system with his own code (and for some reason none of the owners bother to change it which is slightly weird to me).
  Back to the story- Kim and Colquitt go to the house at night and end up kissing passionately on the couch. Walker comes in, catches them and a fight ensues. He gives Kim a good kick to the head and goes after Colquitt. They tussle a bit and he chases her outside. She breaks through to him and the next scene is them at home. I guess they just left Kim possibly concussed or dead at The House.
  There follows a touching scene with Walker apologizing and generally wallowing in guilt. Which is weird that through it all Colquitt never says anything, denies any feelings for Kim or anything. She only says she never wants to see Kim again. She doesn't even apologize or anything.
  Claire gets mad at Colquitt for not telling her why Virginia has suddenly taken off. When Colquitt does try to tell her and Eloise about The House Claire still gets mad at her.
  See, that's why they all seem to be frenemies, not real friends. They turn on each other at the slightest provocation.
  A new family moved in, the Greene's. Norman, Susan and their daughter Melissa. Colquitt, who says at the very beginning that she and Walker are childless by choice, goes all gooey about the little girl. Melissa spends quite a bit of time with them. Norman seems to be a control-freak who's belittling phrase of choice is unintentionally hilarious and creepy at the same time -"What's wrong with this picture, tell me sister".
  Things come to a head over there as well and Susan ends up killing Norman and then turns the gun on herself. Which is another major departure from the book as the little girl dies as well in the book.
  Kim returns from Europe and pious in to see Walker and Colquitt with his new bride. He tells them that he has bought HIS house and tells Colquitt she's just a frustrated housewife and Walker is an absentee husband, no wonder they're making things up about the house.
  At this point the movie circles back to where it started, with Walker and Colquitt planning in torching the house. They attempt to but are thwarted by Kim. And then poof! A giant gas explosion that by all rights should have killed all the of them miraculously only kills Kim.
 The movie ends with Walker and Colquitt on a beach, playing with Melissa. The implication being that they adopted her. A happy ending is had by everyone!
  Or...is it?
  The movie ends much the same way the book does, with a new young couple looking at Jim's design in breathless wonder.

  I did it again, didn't I? Ok, it's a little long. But it is shorter than the book synopsis.
  As far as adaptations go it's reasonably faithful to the book. I've seen a lot worse (Peter Jackson I'm looking at you and what you did to The Hobbit!).

  The acting is reasonably good, especially for Lifetime which seems to tend toward the over-dramatic in the few that I have seen. Lara Flynn Boyle was a bit of a disappointment. She goes through the movie with the same expression no matter what is going on and in some scenes it particularly stands out. Especially the more emotionally weighted ones.
  The House itself is pretty ugly in my opinion. For being described as 'almost alive' and looking 'like it grew out of the ground' I expected a more natural look to it. Maybe more wood or stone or something like that. But I suppose a contemporary style home would be mostly glass and metal. I really don't know since house types aren't exactly my forte.
  The worst flaws in the movie are the same ones shared by the book. With three different families moving in and out the impact of what happens to them is lessened by not really getting enough time to know them or care about them.
  Some of the character changes were a good idea. Such as making Pie a lot more low-key instead of bubbly and childish. Colquitt is much less narcissistic in the movie.
  Some were a little baffling though. Such as Kim's total obsession with HIS house. He is obsessed with it in the book too but in a different way.
  Another way the movie fails a bit also is beating you over the head with foreshadowing. You can just tell Buck and Virginia are going to be hooking up. If I had been Anita I think I might have said something about their blatant flirting. Also Colquitt and Kim being so attracted to each other. Part of how the house works is by taking the thing you cherish most in yourself and your life and using it against you to destroy you and your life. Like when Virginia falls into bed with Buck in the book it is so shocking because Virginia was shown to be someone who cares about her self-control and also cares deeply about other people and truly wants to help them. In the movie she's flirty right off the bat and so stuck up that it's not wildly surprising when it does happen. There is just no time spent on establishing who these people are and the traits that are used against them by The House. In the movie it just seems to be who they are and that it probably would have happened with our without The House's intervention.
  Colquitt's rapid change of heart about children is a little baffling as well. Mostly because they're not consistent with it. In the beginning she states bluntly that her and Walker have no children by choice. Then, in a later conversation, Eloise brings up a fertility doctor. Colquitt looks uncomfortable and Claire chides her for being tactless and indiscreet as though Colquitt and Walker have been trying but have been having problems. I'm assuming they have her yearning over Melissa so they could have their happy ending and not have to show a child getting killed violently.

  Well! I think I've dissected that poor movie almost to death! I promise tomorrow's post will be a bit shorter.

 To continue the 31 days of horror up tomorrow will be The Blair Witch Project. I promise it will be a bit shorter.

   Again, if there's anything I can improve our if you have any suggestions just let me know! As I said, this is my first blog (I'm sure it shows) so I'm always open to constructive criticism. See you tomorrow!