Chapter 8:
Leaving Joslyn's house DD has some deep thoughts on trees, dying and going out in a blaze of color.
Emily brings up the fact that they all seem scared and DD agrees. She also says that the people who live back in the woods get funny being alone too much. Jesus, it's not the wilds of Antarctica. Town from just about anywhere is 20-3- minutes. Tops. Maybe to the author this is the wilds, I don't know. This leads to this quote from Emily which I find hilarious:
"I live alone back in these woods," I said, yet one more time, taking umbrage at her blanket judgment of us all.
Emily! Is offended by a blanket judgment. Something the author and her indulge in regularly in this book. Talk about being self-unaware.
Anywho, they word-spar a bit and Emily thinks to herself that DD's only in her 30's but already getting the skin of middle-age. Um, I don't think you're a spring chicken yourself there. I think Emily has some self-esteem issues. She certainly likes tearing down the way other women look.
Anywhat, DD apologizes for casting aspersions on Emily's sanity. If you knew what Emily was just thinking about you I think you'd take back that apology. She says that Emily's really helping her (Hahaha). She has literally done nothing at all.
She keeps talking about braking so I guess they're driving. For some reason I thought they were walking. Emily says that after giving her advice on her life that DD better be ready to say that she lives at Disneyland with a husband and kids and little birdies tweeting. DD just laughs at her.
This next quote. I don't even know what to say. It seems like the author can't let one page go by without assuring us that Emily's !smart!
"I'll bet you're a really good writer, Emily" she said as we neared my drive. "I mean, I've never known anybody that wrote anything but letters and checks before. You're probably a lot smarter than I am. Maybe that's my problem with you. It's like you're looking down at me. I've only been out of Leetsville a couple times in my life. I don't know...eh...the things you know. I didn't go to college, like you."
Oh. My. God. I don't even know where to start. For one, college does not guarantee intelligence. Two, she is looking down on you DD.
Anywhere, Emily is surprised that DD has feelings. You know, like a real person. Emily nicely says that she's not looking down on DD. And then blames her for making Emily's neighbors hate her. Nice, Emily. You can't even give a compliment without an insult.
They talk a little more and come to the conclusion that if it was the dancing that got them killed then the others might be in trouble. Emily, the !smart! one, doubts DD's theory.
Anyhow, Emily decides that she's calling it a day and DD needs to pee. There's some talk of moving cars around like they're in separate cars so now I'm really confused. The way they were talking and all the stuff about DD braking I thought they were in the same car. Oh well. On with the chapter.
DD offers to call in the morning if she finds out anything. Emily is having second thoughts about teaming up with Deputy Dolly. In fact, she feels about like Nancy Drew.
She goes inside to find a message from her ex-husband, Jackson, on her answering machine. He asks her to call him with a phony laugh "as if I could deny him, would deny him: as if any woman could." She's being sarcastic but we'll see how much she doormats later.
He goes on to say that he's "always thought of us as friends, no matter how difficult you made things".
Pretty ballsy for someone asking a favor, Jackson. Emily stomps around a bit, vowing that she's not going to call him back.
Instead, she calls the Michigan State Police, Sheriff Barnard and her boss at the paper, Bill.
Then she calls Jackson. Twit.
And then gets mad when she gets his machine. She's very proud of herself for not adding a "Please, oh please" or anything equally beggar-ish.
Emily decides that she's depressed so she needs to keep away from the fridge or she'll hoover everything in sight. But, she's sure to tell us, she never puts on weight after her binges. Yeah, whatever Miss Perfect. What she has to be "deeply depressed" about, I don't know.
She decides to go work on her book and ignore the investigation for a bit. We get another description of her studio. She says it's undecorated. Except a few chapters ago we got a nice, detailed description of her artsy inspirations. I guess continuity isn't her strong suit. There's also this quote, which is just a strange sentence:
"in the still time before the sun went down, when the world held it's breath and noises were embarrassing and alien"
I have no idea what an "embarrassing" evening noise would be. I can think of a couple but none that I would hear in the middle of nowhere, in the woods. The alien thing I get. Especially if you're unfamiliar with the woods. But "embarrassing" is just a weird word to use.
She goes over in her mind the detective she wants to create. A detective with a checkered past, divorced, possibly a (former) drunk. Because that's sooo much more original than anything your "hick" neighbors come up with.
She decides that real life sucks and she's not in the mood to write.
End of Chapter
Well, at least a little more happened this chapter. Emily is still her little snarky self. I might be over-sensitive to it but god, she acts so damn superior and we don't need an every-other-page reminder that she's !smart! and a college educated woman. Of course, Emily does very little that could be considered smart so maybe the author thought we needed reminding.
I am really, really hoping to get the X-Files recap done tomorrow. It's taking a little longer than I thought it would.
As always, leave me a comment or two if you have any requests or suggestions! I'd love to hear from you. I'm still reading Dracula and tweeting my thoughts here and there. If you'd like to follow along it's PickingOnStuff@GKimball5
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