SLEEPY HOLLOW PT. 2
Well, things got a little hectic there for a bit but, finally, here's the second part to Sleepy Hollow.
Ok, when we last left off Ichabod had found the Horseman's resting place. The Horseman and his HellHorse burst out of the Tree of the Dead and was in a hurry to be somewhere. Ichabod was following.
We see a nice, cozy, family scene between a husband, his wife and their small son. I'm sure this will end well. And actually, they ate so damn cute that it makes me mad they get Horseman'd. Speaking of whom, he kicks the door down. The husband tries to fight him off and the mother runs to hide the little boy under the floorboards. Then he comes for her. She knows she's pretty much screwed. The boy is hiding and the Horseman seems about to leave then...
I'm sorry, I can't even wrote it. Knowing what a Bitch the villain is it makes sense that they sent the Horseman after the entire family but still. What a Bitch! And actually here is where some filmmakers should take note. We don't actually see the Horseman decapitate the boy. We get all the information we need from the floorboards being torn up and the Horseman stuffing something in his bag on the way out the door. Let the imagination do the rest.
As the Horseman is leaving Brom attacks him but the Horseman appears to have no interest in him. The h horseman just fends off the attacks and keeps walking. Ichabod tries to stop Brom from going after him but brim keeps up the attack and Ichabod helps, getting a sword through the shoulder for his troubles. He fares much better than Brom, however, who gets cut in half.
Back at the Van Tassel house Ichabod is ill from the sword strike. For some reason. It's a clean, cauterized stab wound so there shouldn't be an infection at all. Of course, it is a Hell blade so maybe there's that.
Anywho, he tells the people gathered that the Horseman does not kill at random, that his targets are chosen by whomever holds his head. Katrina's downstairs doing witchy things and brings him a broth to drink. While he's out he finishes his memories of his mother. As a small boy he follows where his father took his mother and finds her in an iron maiden. He stumbles backward into a spiky chair thing, leaving the strange scars on his hand.
Back in the present he tells Katrina what happened to his mother and questions his decision to come there. There follows some cheese about kisses, witching, being bewitched blah blah blah.
Ichabod wakes up to find Lady Van Tassel waiting on him and she tells him that the servant girl, Sarah had run off.
Young Masbeth comes in and Ichabod does some deducting and ends up at the notaries, after scribbling a bit in his book. The end result being that he suspects Baltus Van Tassel because with the Van Garret's out of the way the fortune now goes to Van Tassel.
Ichabod returns to his room to find Katrina sitting at his desk looking at what he wrote. A terse exchange follows and she leaves but not before she sees where he hid the evidence against her father. Ichabod freaks out over a spider and makes young Masbeth move the bed to kill it. Under the bed they find a pentagram which Masbeth says is the evil eye and that someone is trying to harm Ichabod.
That night Ichabod sees a hooded figure mysteriously walking to somewhere. He stumbles upon Lady Van Tassel having some kinky-ish sex with the local minister. He watches as she cuts her hand and rubs it on the preachers back.
Cut to the next morning? I'm not sure. The movie is so gloomy it's hard to tell what time of the day it is. Ichabod find that his evidence is missing and do deduces that Katrina has taken it and goes to the rundown cottage. He finds her there, burning the evidence. A while bunch of melodrama ensues ending with her saying, "Farewell Ichabod Crane, I curse the day you came to Sleepy Hollow!"
And takes off on her horse.
Later he's talking to Lady Van Tassel. I just noticed this. Her hand is hurt (from her slicing it with a knife during the holy sexy-times) and she's struggling to take a hot, cast iron pot from the stove. And he makes no offer to help her at all. It cracks me up.
Anywhat, they chat a bit about Katrina then she says that she knows he followed her that night and saw her and asks him not to tell her husband. She also practically shoves her cut in his face which is a little gross. Speaking of which, her husband pops in sees the cut and she says that she'll bind it with arrowroot flowers that she'll gather before the town meeting.
Which, in the next scene, we see her doing. With the Horseman behind her.
We're now at the church where everyone is gathering for the big town meeting and Baltus Van Tassel comes running up on his house telling Katrina that the Horseman killed her stepmother. Ok, this is an itty bitty gripe. And I'm sure it was probably done to keep it straight that the current Lady Van Tassel is not Katrina's birth mother. BUT! At that time they did not use the phrase step-mother much. Since family bonds were considered unbreakable she would have just been called Katrina's mother or, if clarification were needed, mother-in-law. I'm done, carry on.
Soon after the Horseman appears and everyone rushes into the church. The Horseman cannot enter hallowed ground. So he's pacing outside while they shoot at him, because, you know, that's so effective.
Meanwhile, inside, there's drama brewing. It looks like one of the conspirators is going to confess when the reverend beans him on the head with a cross. Baltus shoots the reverend.
Outside the Horseman has figured if Baltus won't come to him willingly then a fence post spear through the heart will bring him. He pulls Baltus outside and, mission accomplished, leaves with his prize.
Katrina faints, dropping a piece of chalk, the same color in which the sign under his bed was drawn and also which Katrina was drawing inside the church.
This shot is very pretty. It's an overhead of Katrina in a pulpit but it looks like a shrine or funeral bier. It pan's slowly over the stunned crowd to show what she was drawing on the floor. Which leads Ichabod to conclude that it was her summoning the Horseman (forgetting I guess that he had the same sign under his bed and the Horseman never came for him).
He leaves the next day while she is either still unconscious or asleep. Masbeth tells him that he's an idiot to think that it was Katrina. Ichabod doesn't want to believe it but thinks that's the only conclusion. He burns his notes but cannot bring himself to burn the spellbook she gave him.
In the carriage he looks in the book and realizes that the symbol was one of protection, not evil. He also sees the body of 'Lady Van Tassel' being loaded into a coffin. He realizes that something is amiss and at that same moment, back at the Van Tassel house the very alive and well Lady Van Tassel steps from the shadows. Katrina faints, yet again. Well, that was easy for her.
Lady takes Katrina to a crappy windmill to do her monologuing and summon the Horseman to come for Katrina. She had cut off the servant girls head and cut her hand to make it look like her body and Baltus took off as soon as he saw the Horseman so he didn't actually see her get killed.
It turns out that Lady had lived in the rundown cottage with her mother, sister, and father until the fathers death. Then Van Garret kicked them out and no one would take them in because her mother was accused of witchcraft. Which is a little weird because Katrina does witchy things the whole movie. Whatever.
Anywhere, she, her mother and sister lives in the woods. Her mother died within a year. When she and her sister came upon the Horseman that day in the woods she promised her soul to Satan if she could call up the Horseman for revenge.
After this there's a lot of running from the Horseman and excitement and whatnot.
Ichabod gives the Horseman his head back. What's really funny is that he's getting his ass totally kicked by Lady Van Tassel and it isn't until Katrina clubs her with a branch that he's able to grab the skull.
The Horseman, knowing who had summoned him decides to take Lady Van Tassel back with him to hell.
Ichabod returns to New York, along with Masbeth. A happy ending for all.
Since its no longer October :( . I'll be staying a mystery series with chapter by chapter recaps. The book will be Dead Dancing Women by Elizabeth Kane Buzzelli. It's written about the area I live in so how could I not? Especially since it's ripe for being picked on!
As always, any suggestions or comments ate always welcome!
Showing posts with label Halloween. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Halloween. Show all posts
Tuesday, November 3, 2015
Saturday, October 31, 2015
SLEEPY HOLLOW
HEADS WILL ROLL
Best. Tagline. Ever.
I got a request to do Sleepy Hollow. Naturally, I aim to serve. And, to be honest, it's not exactly painful because I love Sleepy Hollow. I love the atmosphere, the acting is to notch (with one slight exception) and the sets are gorgeous.
And, oh yeah, an awesome HellHorse and requisite Headless rider. What's not to love?
And yay! for the request! That means I might actually have a reader or two and that they'd like me! Bestill my little Luna heart.
It may not be 'classic' but it's a really fun movie to watch. It has suspense, a bit of bloodshed, humor and loads and loads of atmosphere.
SYNOPSIS:
Detective Ichabod Crane is being taken to task for his unorthodox scientific methods. He's being given a chance to prove himself. He's being sent to upstate New York to investigate a rash of beheadings in, you guessed it, Sleepy Hollow. Well he prove that science and reason are the ultimate crime-solving technique? Or will superstition make him it's bitch?
The Pickings:
I should confess right now that this will be a little bit biased because anything Headless Horseman related (or Johnny Depp for that matter) makes me squeal like the girliest fangirl of them all. No matter how cheesy the cartoon or movie about him the awesomeness of the HellHorse and Horseman cannot be screwed up. I even love The Haunted Pumpkin of Sleepy Hollow and that's a pretty cheaply made cartoon. Of course, The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad by Disney is my absolute favorite.
It's also one of the few movies based on a book in which I fully support the changes. The movie has a brisk, tension-filled pace to it that is broken up by humor. The humor is used well and is never thrown in our face.
The book plods a little slower but I won't trash on it too much since it has been a very long time since I've read it.
But enough about the book. Let's get on to the movie.
We open with a nervous man being driven hastily through a dark night in the country. The be-wigged passenger hears a noise and checks on his drives who is in the box of the carriage (the bench which the carriage driver sits). When he sees that his driver is now minus a head he wigs on out (not sorry for the pun) and jumps from the carriage. A brief chase ensues in which the passenger runs into a scarecrow that looks remarkably similar to Pumpkin Jack from The Nightmare before Christmas. Wonder what he could be doing there ;).
Now we're in New York with Constable Ichabod Crane. He's inspecting a body on the wharf. He wants to do an autopsy on it and he and his boss bicker about it a bit. Then we go to the courtroom where the scariest judge of EVER is presiding (Christopher Lee). He tells Ichabod that he is sending Ichabod to upstate New York where the town of Sleep Hollow has had a rash of grisly beheadings. He also makes it clear that this is his chance to prove himself.
So now we head to Sleepy Hollow, a sleepy little hamlet. They're having a party to raise people's spirits. Or something. With all the death and dying it seems in poor taste to me but maybe they're just bored. It also involves an odd party game called ' The Pickety Witch' which involves a blindfolded girl trying to guess whose face she touches and gives them a kiss if she guesses wrong.
Sidenote: I did a search for ' The Pickety Witch' but all I got were references to Sleepy Hollow and a band with that name. So I'm guessing it's not a real game.
She grabs Ichabod as he passes through and he says he is a stranger but she plants one on his cheek anyway. She takes off her blindfold to reveal Katrina Van Tassel (Christina Ricci).
She takes him to her father who has arranged a meeting with the other Important Community Men who tell him about the Headless Horseman and his origins. He was a Hessian fighter in the Revolutionary War who enjoyed the bloodshed and carnage. He was finally caught when soldiers shot his horse and he ran into the woods, trying to hide but was captured when a little girl snaked a twig to attract the attention of the soldiers. They killed him and buried him but now he has returned.
Ichabod scoffs at their superstition and insists that it is a person of flesh and blood behind these murders.
The horseman rides again that night.
That next morning Ichabod rides out to inspect the corpse. Despite some squeamishness he did an admirable job. He realizes that the head is missing and that the only reason to normally take the head is to prevent identification. Since everyone knows the deceased anyway the heads must serve another purpose.
Not sure how much later at the grave of the newest victim the dead man's son offers his services to Crane. At first Crane refuses but changes his mind. The Magistrate (who is Mr. Durstley on the Harry Potter movies but he kind of looks like a hedgehog in this so he'll be Magistrate Hedgehog here). Anyhow, he tells Crane that there are the bodies but four graves. Ichabod figures out this means that the Widow Winship, who was one of the victims, was pregnant.
That night Ichabod is attacked by a Headless Horseman and gets a flaming pumpkin chucked at his head. Before he passes out he hears laughter and realizes it was Brom Bones and his friends. The awesome part about this is that the way it's staged it looks like a shot from the Disney Ichabod Crane. Which is totally cool.
While Ichabod is out he has a dream/flashback to when he was a child. These scenes are stylistically different from the rest of the movie. The movie is very drab, faded colors. The dream sequences with his mother are brightly lit and warm. Except for the grim scenes that we know are foreshadowing something forbidding. Then the color palette changes to stark colors. Whites and reds and blacks.
He wakes early the next morning to find Katrina reading a book by the fire. She hides it quickly and explains that her father believes it was the reading of romance novels that gave her mother the fever that she died from. Which seems dumb to us but that was a legitimate criticism of novels at the time. Also, by romances she probably doesn't mean romantic love stories which are what we call romances now but Gothic horror tales ala The Castle of Otranto by Horace Walpole and Mysteries of Udolpho by Ann Radcliffe.
Anywhy, she randomly decides to give him a book of spells that was her mother's. She tells him that the land her family lives on used to be Van Garret landand that she and her family moved into a small cottage when she was very young. She offers to show him the cottage and they ride out to see it. She notices some unusual scars on his hands and asks him about them but he brushes it off. The cottage is a ruin now and she talks a little bit about her mother and points out an archer carved into the back of the fireplace. She doodles some designs in the dirt that upset Ichabod. They resemble the ones his mother drew.
It's kind of hard to tell daytime from nighttime because of the gloom that pervades the movie, I'm assuming it's night because the next scene is evening.
He confronts Magistrate Hedgehog about what he knows. Hedgehog is fleeing the village in fear for his life, especially after having divulged the secret to Ichabod.
The Horseman appears and beheads Magistrate Hedgehog but appears to have no interest in Ichabod. Ichabod faints.
Later at Van Tassel's. Ichabod is freaking out over there actually being a Horseman. Johnny Depp is hilarious. He's all jammed up in the corner acting like a total wuss. Then he faints again.
Back to the dream world. Young Ichabod is playing with his mom in the garden. Ok, why is holding hands and spinning considered so much fun? I can think of at least three movies that show it and in all honesty if it were me, I'd throw up. Then she goes spinning up into the air. In the dream Ichabod's father catches her little witchy doodles in the fireplace (apparently she was too stupid to erase them) and drags her off to the evil white and red room because we all know how evil drawings of a spiral and a star can be.
Ichabod wakes up to overhear the Important Community Men arguing over sending Ichabod back and getting a better detective. One who doesn't faint all the time I presume.
Ichabod comes downstairs to tell them he is resolved on solving the mystery and he's off to the Western Woods where the Horseman died. It cracks me up that the only person willing to go with him is the kid, Young Masbeth.
So, off they head into the woods. They find a cave that is inhabited by a woman who appears to be a witch. She tells Masbeth to take a hike and summons 'something' called the Other which tells him to go to the Tree of the Dead , the Horseman's resting place.
Some people think this part is cheesy but I love it. The set is awesome and the actress does an excellently creepy job.
Soon Ichabod and Masbeth realize that they're being followed and meet up with Katrina. So, the only people in the village full of strapping men and the only two people that would go with him are a boy and a girl.
They find the Tree of the Dead. Ichabod hacks into it and a bunch of heads come tumbling out. There's a very cute moment where Masbeth hides his face and Katrina holds him. It's very sweet.
Ichabod dis up the Horseman's grave and sees that the body is still there but his head is missing. Scary things start happening around the Tree and the coolest fucking thing of always happens when the Horseman and the HellHorse burst from the Tree. Ichabod follows.
Since this is getting a little long I'll break it into two parts like I did Silver Bullet. I'd be happy to know which way is easier to read. All in one post like Fright Night or broken down into two parts like Silver Bullet.
As always I'm open to any suggestions or comments. If there's a movie you'd like to know more about just let me know!
!!! HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!
HEADS WILL ROLL
Best. Tagline. Ever.
I got a request to do Sleepy Hollow. Naturally, I aim to serve. And, to be honest, it's not exactly painful because I love Sleepy Hollow. I love the atmosphere, the acting is to notch (with one slight exception) and the sets are gorgeous.
And, oh yeah, an awesome HellHorse and requisite Headless rider. What's not to love?
And yay! for the request! That means I might actually have a reader or two and that they'd like me! Bestill my little Luna heart.
It may not be 'classic' but it's a really fun movie to watch. It has suspense, a bit of bloodshed, humor and loads and loads of atmosphere.
SYNOPSIS:
Detective Ichabod Crane is being taken to task for his unorthodox scientific methods. He's being given a chance to prove himself. He's being sent to upstate New York to investigate a rash of beheadings in, you guessed it, Sleepy Hollow. Well he prove that science and reason are the ultimate crime-solving technique? Or will superstition make him it's bitch?
The Pickings:
I should confess right now that this will be a little bit biased because anything Headless Horseman related (or Johnny Depp for that matter) makes me squeal like the girliest fangirl of them all. No matter how cheesy the cartoon or movie about him the awesomeness of the HellHorse and Horseman cannot be screwed up. I even love The Haunted Pumpkin of Sleepy Hollow and that's a pretty cheaply made cartoon. Of course, The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad by Disney is my absolute favorite.
It's also one of the few movies based on a book in which I fully support the changes. The movie has a brisk, tension-filled pace to it that is broken up by humor. The humor is used well and is never thrown in our face.
The book plods a little slower but I won't trash on it too much since it has been a very long time since I've read it.
But enough about the book. Let's get on to the movie.
We open with a nervous man being driven hastily through a dark night in the country. The be-wigged passenger hears a noise and checks on his drives who is in the box of the carriage (the bench which the carriage driver sits). When he sees that his driver is now minus a head he wigs on out (not sorry for the pun) and jumps from the carriage. A brief chase ensues in which the passenger runs into a scarecrow that looks remarkably similar to Pumpkin Jack from The Nightmare before Christmas. Wonder what he could be doing there ;).
Now we're in New York with Constable Ichabod Crane. He's inspecting a body on the wharf. He wants to do an autopsy on it and he and his boss bicker about it a bit. Then we go to the courtroom where the scariest judge of EVER is presiding (Christopher Lee). He tells Ichabod that he is sending Ichabod to upstate New York where the town of Sleep Hollow has had a rash of grisly beheadings. He also makes it clear that this is his chance to prove himself.
So now we head to Sleepy Hollow, a sleepy little hamlet. They're having a party to raise people's spirits. Or something. With all the death and dying it seems in poor taste to me but maybe they're just bored. It also involves an odd party game called ' The Pickety Witch' which involves a blindfolded girl trying to guess whose face she touches and gives them a kiss if she guesses wrong.
Sidenote: I did a search for ' The Pickety Witch' but all I got were references to Sleepy Hollow and a band with that name. So I'm guessing it's not a real game.
She grabs Ichabod as he passes through and he says he is a stranger but she plants one on his cheek anyway. She takes off her blindfold to reveal Katrina Van Tassel (Christina Ricci).
She takes him to her father who has arranged a meeting with the other Important Community Men who tell him about the Headless Horseman and his origins. He was a Hessian fighter in the Revolutionary War who enjoyed the bloodshed and carnage. He was finally caught when soldiers shot his horse and he ran into the woods, trying to hide but was captured when a little girl snaked a twig to attract the attention of the soldiers. They killed him and buried him but now he has returned.
Ichabod scoffs at their superstition and insists that it is a person of flesh and blood behind these murders.
The horseman rides again that night.
That next morning Ichabod rides out to inspect the corpse. Despite some squeamishness he did an admirable job. He realizes that the head is missing and that the only reason to normally take the head is to prevent identification. Since everyone knows the deceased anyway the heads must serve another purpose.
Not sure how much later at the grave of the newest victim the dead man's son offers his services to Crane. At first Crane refuses but changes his mind. The Magistrate (who is Mr. Durstley on the Harry Potter movies but he kind of looks like a hedgehog in this so he'll be Magistrate Hedgehog here). Anyhow, he tells Crane that there are the bodies but four graves. Ichabod figures out this means that the Widow Winship, who was one of the victims, was pregnant.
That night Ichabod is attacked by a Headless Horseman and gets a flaming pumpkin chucked at his head. Before he passes out he hears laughter and realizes it was Brom Bones and his friends. The awesome part about this is that the way it's staged it looks like a shot from the Disney Ichabod Crane. Which is totally cool.
While Ichabod is out he has a dream/flashback to when he was a child. These scenes are stylistically different from the rest of the movie. The movie is very drab, faded colors. The dream sequences with his mother are brightly lit and warm. Except for the grim scenes that we know are foreshadowing something forbidding. Then the color palette changes to stark colors. Whites and reds and blacks.
He wakes early the next morning to find Katrina reading a book by the fire. She hides it quickly and explains that her father believes it was the reading of romance novels that gave her mother the fever that she died from. Which seems dumb to us but that was a legitimate criticism of novels at the time. Also, by romances she probably doesn't mean romantic love stories which are what we call romances now but Gothic horror tales ala The Castle of Otranto by Horace Walpole and Mysteries of Udolpho by Ann Radcliffe.
Anywhy, she randomly decides to give him a book of spells that was her mother's. She tells him that the land her family lives on used to be Van Garret landand that she and her family moved into a small cottage when she was very young. She offers to show him the cottage and they ride out to see it. She notices some unusual scars on his hands and asks him about them but he brushes it off. The cottage is a ruin now and she talks a little bit about her mother and points out an archer carved into the back of the fireplace. She doodles some designs in the dirt that upset Ichabod. They resemble the ones his mother drew.
It's kind of hard to tell daytime from nighttime because of the gloom that pervades the movie, I'm assuming it's night because the next scene is evening.
He confronts Magistrate Hedgehog about what he knows. Hedgehog is fleeing the village in fear for his life, especially after having divulged the secret to Ichabod.
The Horseman appears and beheads Magistrate Hedgehog but appears to have no interest in Ichabod. Ichabod faints.
Later at Van Tassel's. Ichabod is freaking out over there actually being a Horseman. Johnny Depp is hilarious. He's all jammed up in the corner acting like a total wuss. Then he faints again.
Back to the dream world. Young Ichabod is playing with his mom in the garden. Ok, why is holding hands and spinning considered so much fun? I can think of at least three movies that show it and in all honesty if it were me, I'd throw up. Then she goes spinning up into the air. In the dream Ichabod's father catches her little witchy doodles in the fireplace (apparently she was too stupid to erase them) and drags her off to the evil white and red room because we all know how evil drawings of a spiral and a star can be.
Ichabod wakes up to overhear the Important Community Men arguing over sending Ichabod back and getting a better detective. One who doesn't faint all the time I presume.
Ichabod comes downstairs to tell them he is resolved on solving the mystery and he's off to the Western Woods where the Horseman died. It cracks me up that the only person willing to go with him is the kid, Young Masbeth.
So, off they head into the woods. They find a cave that is inhabited by a woman who appears to be a witch. She tells Masbeth to take a hike and summons 'something' called the Other which tells him to go to the Tree of the Dead , the Horseman's resting place.
Some people think this part is cheesy but I love it. The set is awesome and the actress does an excellently creepy job.
Soon Ichabod and Masbeth realize that they're being followed and meet up with Katrina. So, the only people in the village full of strapping men and the only two people that would go with him are a boy and a girl.
They find the Tree of the Dead. Ichabod hacks into it and a bunch of heads come tumbling out. There's a very cute moment where Masbeth hides his face and Katrina holds him. It's very sweet.
Ichabod dis up the Horseman's grave and sees that the body is still there but his head is missing. Scary things start happening around the Tree and the coolest fucking thing of always happens when the Horseman and the HellHorse burst from the Tree. Ichabod follows.
Since this is getting a little long I'll break it into two parts like I did Silver Bullet. I'd be happy to know which way is easier to read. All in one post like Fright Night or broken down into two parts like Silver Bullet.
As always I'm open to any suggestions or comments. If there's a movie you'd like to know more about just let me know!
!!! HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!
Saturday, October 17, 2015
SILVER BULLET Pt. 2
Well, well, well. I'm actually finishing this when I said I would. I'm so proud...
Picking up where we left off the hunt for the Tarker's Mill Mauler is over leaving three casualties in its wake. We go now to a hazy funeral scene where the reverend is presiding over a triple funeral for the deceased. However, we quickly realize that something's...off.
The congregation starts wolfing out (with some pretty good effects I might add). Including a werewolf going all full tilt boogie on the piano which for some reason cracks me up no end but I don't know why. I'm easily amused.
And who do we have waking up doing in sweat from this horrible werewolf dream? None other than the Reverend Lowe!
Welp, guess we know who the werewolf is now, don't we? Which brings me back to him pleading with the Werewolf Hunters not to go. My mom thinks it's because the good werewolf reverend didn't want them to kill him. I say it's because he desperately doors not want to kill them. And I'm going with that because, please, like a werewolf has anything to worry about from them.
After the dream at the church we find out that some festival has been cancelled because of the killings which Marty is extraordinarily bummed out about. Which is a little fucked up to me since his best friend just got brutally mauled. That's ok, but no fireworks? Aw, hell no!
So then we cut to a family picnic at the Coslaw's. Uncle Red and Marty are hanging out by the garage and Uncle Red is working on something mysterious for Marty. Marty is bitching about how all these killings have chased away his girlfriend, killed his best friend and now it's cancelled the fireworks. Uncle Red asks where everyone is. I only mention that because it leads to one of the best lines EVER in movies. Marty says:
"Jane's walking around in all these new clothes showing off her tits, acting like nobody ever had tits before her."
LOL
So, Uncle Red's big surprise is a new motorized wheelchair that's pretty awesome looking and goes fast. Before he leaves he also gives Marty a bunch of fireworks to show that "the bad guys can't win". More of a morale thing I guess.
Marty sneaks out later that night by shimmying down the drain pipe (told you he could climb that tree to stop Brady just fine). So Mr. Can't Climb a Tree takes out his new ride for a spin to the bridge to play with his new fireworks all by himself. Jeez, he could have at least invited Jane. Doing fireworks by yourself is just boring.
Then we get werewolf P.o.V again stalking Marty out all by his lonesome. I guess the fact that he could end up werewolf chow just as easily as Brady never crossed his mind. The werewolf is about to spring when Marty shoots a bottle rocket (from his hand! Not recommended) and gets the werewolf in the eye. The werewolf runs off in pain and Marty races home to cower in a corner.
The next day he tells Jane what happened and asks her to keep an eye out (see what I did there?) for anyone who looks injured or is wearing a bandage on his/her eye. Jane agrees and as she's collecting empty cans for the can drive at church she's keeping her eye out (I'm done, I promise) the whole time. And amazingly she seems to run into everyone to check out their eye situation. She doesn't find anyone and thinks Marty was playing a joke on her. Until...
She stops by the Reverend Werewolf's house to drop off the cans. We see he has only one eye but she doesn't, yet.
She gets freaked out by a mouse and falls butt first into the pile of cans (she trips more than a certain pasty faced brunette) where she finds a bat belonging to one of the Werewolf Hunters and gets even more freaked out. The Reverend Werewolf surprises her and...uh-oh...she sees that he's wearing an eyepatch. Gulp!
Shortly after that they send Reverend Werewolf little ransom/stalker notes suggesting nice friendly things like he should kill himself and whatnot.
Coming home from school one day the Reverend tries to ram him off the road with his car. By some very fortuitous things Marty manages to escape him until he strands himself in a dead end covered bridge. Out of gas and face to face with the werewolf. Yikes!
The werewolf gives a villain monologue about how he saved SillyStella's soul by killing her before she committed suicide and damned herself to Hell. He also says that he can't commit suicide because of their religion. Which brings us to another great line: "Do you see! You meddling little shit!" Giggle.
Some dude on a tractor arrives just in time to keep himself from getting chucked off a bridge and Reverend Wolfie takes off.
I have to question a few things about this scene. Reverend Wolfie says he killed SillyStella to save her soul. It's messed up but ok, I'll buy it. But what about everyone else? The Hunters I guess he could write off as self-defense but what about the other two guys and Brady? Somehow he manages to forget about all the people he killed that were perfectly happy living their lives. I did get a strong pedo vibe off of Tammy's dad so maybe he deserved it. But Brady was just hanging out with his kite. Wrong place wrong time I guess. Also, I am going to call major bullshit on tractor guy even hearing him through a wooden barrier AND over the tractor. If the movie was playing by real life Marty would have been over the side of that bridge in no time.
After Marty's run-in with the Reverend the kids decide that they need an adult's help with the whole werewolf thing but figure that the police won't believe them so they call Uncle Red. Let's just say he's not thrilled with what they've been doing. At first he doesn't believe them but then he notices scrapes on Marty's chair that matches the color of Reverend Wolfie's car. Although I always thought the scrapes were a little far down on the chair to be from a car but whatever.
So Red goes to the sheriff and yells him the whole story. The sheriff asks if he believes it and all Uncle Red will hazard is that he believes the Reverend ought to be checked out. Sheriff Haller is convinced and goes to check out the weekend's house. At night. Alone. This is going to end well, I can tell.
Werewolf- 8
After the sheriff goes missing the kids hand over their medallions to Uncle Red to make a silver bullet. He, of course, knows a weapons maker, a "wizard of weaponry" and an Old World Craftsman. Which of course less to another great exchange:
Uncle Red: Shoot, it's just a gag. I mean what would you use a silver bullet for?"
Craftsman: "How about a werewolf?"
Not even joking. He is dead serious.
Marty thinks that the Reverend Wolfie is going to wait until the next full moon so there will be no man left. Just the wolf. Apparently he forgot that the man side of the werewolf was going to chuck him off the bridge.
The next full moon rolls around and Uncle Red says that he won a trip for two to New York and wants to give it to Marty's mom and dad while he watches the kids. They're all excited and the uncle who was barely good enough to hang out with her kid while she was present is now good enough to watch them the whole weekend. As it turns out Red didn't win a trip. He set the whole thing up so that he could be there with the kids during the full moon. Awww.
So they're waiting for the wolf and everyone's dozing off. Red gets irritated and decides to send the kids to bed while he sits up the rest of the night. He takes the bullet out of the gun (!!) and of course that's when shit gets real.
The werewolf breaks in, the bullet goes flying and as the werewolf starts tossing Uncle Red about a bit and playing with Jane's head (fortunately still attached to her body) it's up to Marty to find the bullet and save the day.
Aaaand that's the end folks.
A few last thoughts though. It never days how he became a werewolf. Which isn't really important to the story but I'm curious. Also, I think a line saying that the Reverend was new in town might have been nice because it seems like he was always there but never killed anyone before? That seems unlikely. Oh well.
So, as always any comments are appreciated. Any movies you'd like me to do, anything I can improve? Just let me know! Hopefully, the next movie will be Warlock starring Julian Sands.
Well, well, well. I'm actually finishing this when I said I would. I'm so proud...
Picking up where we left off the hunt for the Tarker's Mill Mauler is over leaving three casualties in its wake. We go now to a hazy funeral scene where the reverend is presiding over a triple funeral for the deceased. However, we quickly realize that something's...off.
The congregation starts wolfing out (with some pretty good effects I might add). Including a werewolf going all full tilt boogie on the piano which for some reason cracks me up no end but I don't know why. I'm easily amused.
And who do we have waking up doing in sweat from this horrible werewolf dream? None other than the Reverend Lowe!
Welp, guess we know who the werewolf is now, don't we? Which brings me back to him pleading with the Werewolf Hunters not to go. My mom thinks it's because the good werewolf reverend didn't want them to kill him. I say it's because he desperately doors not want to kill them. And I'm going with that because, please, like a werewolf has anything to worry about from them.
After the dream at the church we find out that some festival has been cancelled because of the killings which Marty is extraordinarily bummed out about. Which is a little fucked up to me since his best friend just got brutally mauled. That's ok, but no fireworks? Aw, hell no!
So then we cut to a family picnic at the Coslaw's. Uncle Red and Marty are hanging out by the garage and Uncle Red is working on something mysterious for Marty. Marty is bitching about how all these killings have chased away his girlfriend, killed his best friend and now it's cancelled the fireworks. Uncle Red asks where everyone is. I only mention that because it leads to one of the best lines EVER in movies. Marty says:
"Jane's walking around in all these new clothes showing off her tits, acting like nobody ever had tits before her."
LOL
So, Uncle Red's big surprise is a new motorized wheelchair that's pretty awesome looking and goes fast. Before he leaves he also gives Marty a bunch of fireworks to show that "the bad guys can't win". More of a morale thing I guess.
Marty sneaks out later that night by shimmying down the drain pipe (told you he could climb that tree to stop Brady just fine). So Mr. Can't Climb a Tree takes out his new ride for a spin to the bridge to play with his new fireworks all by himself. Jeez, he could have at least invited Jane. Doing fireworks by yourself is just boring.
Then we get werewolf P.o.V again stalking Marty out all by his lonesome. I guess the fact that he could end up werewolf chow just as easily as Brady never crossed his mind. The werewolf is about to spring when Marty shoots a bottle rocket (from his hand! Not recommended) and gets the werewolf in the eye. The werewolf runs off in pain and Marty races home to cower in a corner.
The next day he tells Jane what happened and asks her to keep an eye out (see what I did there?) for anyone who looks injured or is wearing a bandage on his/her eye. Jane agrees and as she's collecting empty cans for the can drive at church she's keeping her eye out (I'm done, I promise) the whole time. And amazingly she seems to run into everyone to check out their eye situation. She doesn't find anyone and thinks Marty was playing a joke on her. Until...
She stops by the Reverend Werewolf's house to drop off the cans. We see he has only one eye but she doesn't, yet.
She gets freaked out by a mouse and falls butt first into the pile of cans (she trips more than a certain pasty faced brunette) where she finds a bat belonging to one of the Werewolf Hunters and gets even more freaked out. The Reverend Werewolf surprises her and...uh-oh...she sees that he's wearing an eyepatch. Gulp!
Shortly after that they send Reverend Werewolf little ransom/stalker notes suggesting nice friendly things like he should kill himself and whatnot.
Coming home from school one day the Reverend tries to ram him off the road with his car. By some very fortuitous things Marty manages to escape him until he strands himself in a dead end covered bridge. Out of gas and face to face with the werewolf. Yikes!
The werewolf gives a villain monologue about how he saved SillyStella's soul by killing her before she committed suicide and damned herself to Hell. He also says that he can't commit suicide because of their religion. Which brings us to another great line: "Do you see! You meddling little shit!" Giggle.
Some dude on a tractor arrives just in time to keep himself from getting chucked off a bridge and Reverend Wolfie takes off.
I have to question a few things about this scene. Reverend Wolfie says he killed SillyStella to save her soul. It's messed up but ok, I'll buy it. But what about everyone else? The Hunters I guess he could write off as self-defense but what about the other two guys and Brady? Somehow he manages to forget about all the people he killed that were perfectly happy living their lives. I did get a strong pedo vibe off of Tammy's dad so maybe he deserved it. But Brady was just hanging out with his kite. Wrong place wrong time I guess. Also, I am going to call major bullshit on tractor guy even hearing him through a wooden barrier AND over the tractor. If the movie was playing by real life Marty would have been over the side of that bridge in no time.
After Marty's run-in with the Reverend the kids decide that they need an adult's help with the whole werewolf thing but figure that the police won't believe them so they call Uncle Red. Let's just say he's not thrilled with what they've been doing. At first he doesn't believe them but then he notices scrapes on Marty's chair that matches the color of Reverend Wolfie's car. Although I always thought the scrapes were a little far down on the chair to be from a car but whatever.
So Red goes to the sheriff and yells him the whole story. The sheriff asks if he believes it and all Uncle Red will hazard is that he believes the Reverend ought to be checked out. Sheriff Haller is convinced and goes to check out the weekend's house. At night. Alone. This is going to end well, I can tell.
Werewolf- 8
After the sheriff goes missing the kids hand over their medallions to Uncle Red to make a silver bullet. He, of course, knows a weapons maker, a "wizard of weaponry" and an Old World Craftsman. Which of course less to another great exchange:
Uncle Red: Shoot, it's just a gag. I mean what would you use a silver bullet for?"
Craftsman: "How about a werewolf?"
Not even joking. He is dead serious.
Marty thinks that the Reverend Wolfie is going to wait until the next full moon so there will be no man left. Just the wolf. Apparently he forgot that the man side of the werewolf was going to chuck him off the bridge.
The next full moon rolls around and Uncle Red says that he won a trip for two to New York and wants to give it to Marty's mom and dad while he watches the kids. They're all excited and the uncle who was barely good enough to hang out with her kid while she was present is now good enough to watch them the whole weekend. As it turns out Red didn't win a trip. He set the whole thing up so that he could be there with the kids during the full moon. Awww.
So they're waiting for the wolf and everyone's dozing off. Red gets irritated and decides to send the kids to bed while he sits up the rest of the night. He takes the bullet out of the gun (!!) and of course that's when shit gets real.
The werewolf breaks in, the bullet goes flying and as the werewolf starts tossing Uncle Red about a bit and playing with Jane's head (fortunately still attached to her body) it's up to Marty to find the bullet and save the day.
Aaaand that's the end folks.
A few last thoughts though. It never days how he became a werewolf. Which isn't really important to the story but I'm curious. Also, I think a line saying that the Reverend was new in town might have been nice because it seems like he was always there but never killed anyone before? That seems unlikely. Oh well.
So, as always any comments are appreciated. Any movies you'd like me to do, anything I can improve? Just let me know! Hopefully, the next movie will be Warlock starring Julian Sands.
Friday, October 16, 2015
SILVER BULLET
Ok, I know I said I'd do The Shining movie and mini-series but I lied. Sorry. Thinking about it a bit more I don't think there's much more I can add that hasn't already been said. I'm also a coward. I don't want to have to defend my position against the fans of the movie who think Kubrick is a genius and if you don't like it you don't understand Kubrick's genius. They each have their flaws and their strengths and can't we all just get along!?
Ahem. That being said, I like the mini-series better. Fling rocks if you must.
Oh, just to warn you, thus far I have been curbing my foul tongue but it's getting really, really hard to do. So, from here on out there may be occasional swearing. Carry on.
So, instead of talking about a haunted hotel let's talk werewolves shall we? And if anybody mentions Twilight they are banished from my little kingdom forever. Not really, because I can't alienate all of my four readers who for all I know might be raging Twi-Hards.
Anyway, I'm not super into werewolves. Like I don't read a bunch of werewolf books and all of that. However, I do enjoy a good mauling every now and then as much as the next gal.
My favorite is An American Werewolf in London but Silver Bullet tanks right up there. My other favorite is Blood Moon but that's more of a reverse werewolf movie really. And, ok, I admit that Cursed holds a fond place in my heart.
I don't know about you guys but I'm a sucker for practical werewolf effects. A CGI werewolf leaves me cold.
Anywho, on to the movie.
SYNOPSIS:
The quiet little town of Tarker's Mills is being ravaged by a killer who mauls his victims. Marty Coslaw, who is paralyzed from the waist down and confined to a wheelchair, and his sister Jane start to suspect that the killings may not be the work of a man at all.
THE PICKINGS:
The movie opens with Older Jane narrating and telling us the horror began on this night in 1976 with what is assumed an accident at first.
We see a dunk railroad worker singing a lovely song about Rheingold Beer while going about his railroad worker business. We see him bush-stalked by a P.o.V. monster and his head goes flying. The guy is a known drunk (and in this town that's really saying something) so his death is written off as an accident.
Then we join our two teenage heroes at what I think is a town picnic or something like that. Jane is ordered by her mother to go check on her brother who is currently off plotting with his friend Brady to totally ruin Jane's day.
By the way, I hate Marty and Jane's parents. They're pretty much forcing Jane to take care of Marty while they do Very Important Things. Like watch the mayor give an exciting address and listening to the opening prayer by the town's preacher. They are basically making Jane resent Marty when, under other circumstances, they probably would get along pretty well. Plus, he seems pretty capable of doing a lot on his own.
Anyway, back to the very exciting picnic.
Jane goes looking for Marty while Brady hides in a tree with a snake. He dangles it in front of her, freaking her out and making her fall in a mud puddle, running her ugly plaid skirt (you're better off without it Jane, believe me) which Marty and Brady both find pretty damn funny. Brady takes it a little too far (over Marty's protests) and chucks the snake at Jane, making her shriek and fall in the mud puddle again. So, naturally, Jane's a little...perturbed. Actually, I believe her words are: "I hate you, you booger!"
She goes off to hide in some trees to cry a bit and try to clean up. While there she overheard an argument by Dickweed and SillyStella. Apparently, SillyStella is ' In Trouble' and is trying to tell Dickweed that the baby is his. His elegant reply is that it's her oven but it certainly ain't his bun cooking in it. What a gent. If this were a little bit later she'd probably say, "Whatever, see you at the D.N.A. test" but since it's 1976 she's bummed out and freaking out.
In the car ride home the parents take Marty's side, telling her to grow up and that she knows damn well Marty couldn't have climbed that tree to stop Brady (I disagree). Jane accuses them of taking Marty's side because he's crippled and then she pulls out a pair of big bread ones and yells, "Well it's not my fault he's crippled!" (Remember 1976 everyone, PC was not invented yet).
Anyway, her mother threatens to smack her. Ah, lovely parenting. So the happy little family all arrive home (sans smacking) and as her parents carry a bag or two of groceries into the house they have Jane help Marty into his house-wheelchair.
Ok, fortunately I've never had to be in this situation but is it normal to have at least three or four different wheelchairs? There's one on a trailer on the back of the station wagon (I don't see why they don't just put it inside their big ass station wagon but whatever), one that Jane helps him into at the house with that I'm assuming is his house wheelchair. Another that's motorized for school and back (more on that one later) and later he uses an elevator to get upstairs so I'm guessing he has one up there, too. That just seems like a lot to me.
Before they go in Jane tells Marty that their Uncle Red is getting divorced for the fourth time and that he's a drunk. A lovely little exchange of Is Not! Is so! follows and they go in.
Later that night Marty comes to Jane's room with some money to replace the nylons that got ruined in their prank. He dumps a wad (about three dollars) on her nightstand and asks if it's enough. She picks out a dollar or so and gives the rest back. In which she's a lot nicer than me because I probably would have taken all my sister's money. Just on general principle. Marty apologizes again for Brady being a dink and she apologizes for being mean the way she told them about their uncle.
Later that night at a different house SillyStella is taking a bunch of pills to kill herself over Dickweed. Why, I'm not sure. She's not a teenager, she looks about mid-twenties, early thirties so it's not like she can't get a job or something to support herself and her kid. And she apparently lives with her mom in a big ass house so I really don't know why exactly. I'd like to think it's over something a bit more important than that ass but I'm probably being optimistic.
Well, it hardly matters in the long run because le werewolf comes in to maul her before she can do it.
Werewolf-2
Our next scene is outside of the school where Marty, Brady and a little cutie named Tammy are talking. Seriously, she had the most pinchable cheeks. And an odd Southern accent. Brady jets and Marty gallantly offers to see Tammy home because she lives near SillyStella and she's scared at night of something in her family's greenhouse. Hmmm, what could it be? They chat a bit before Tammy's snazzy father comes out to order her into the house. He's dressed oh so charmingly in a bathrobe and undies and drinking a beer. He also utters this charming little bit of dialogue, " Damn cripple. Always end up on welfare. Oughta electrocute them, balance the goddamn budget." What a prince.
Late that night though there's something causing a ruckus amongst the flower pots so Mr. Charmer goes out to investigate. The werewolf makes short work of him as well. Although it makes me wonder what in the neck the werewolf was doing in there too begin with. Looking for some chives to go with dinner?
Werewolf- 3
We have a nice little family night when Uncle Red comes to visit. He's drinking and joking around with Marty and playing cards. He's also telling obscene jokes that contain the word...jackass...while mom stands around looking disapproving. After Marty goes to bed she lays into him for drinking in front of Marty (but honestly, he doesn't seem that trashed) and swearing and just generally being a Bad Uncle. She also yells at him that she's responsible for how he (Marty) feels when he sees him (Uncle Red) like this and how Marty feels when Red leaves. Um, ok? Is Red never supposed to leave? And Marty didn't seem that bothered by the drinking. It's not like he was stripping down or tripping over stuff or passing out in front of him. Nan's just a bitch I've decided.
There's some rabble-rousing at the local pub and we don't learn much except that the sheriff's deputy is a pussy. A curfew has also been instituted.
Marty and Brady are hanging out when Jane comes to find him. Marty's late home and the parents are quite understandably upset with Jane for not finding him sooner. Yeah, by the way, Brady and Marty have climbed a tree to retrieve Brady's kite. Told you so. Marty's apparently quite capable at climbing trees. And drainpipes.
They head home leaving Brady to fly his kite a bit longer because to Brady kite-flying trumps personal safety. Priorities you know.
Back at the local bar the main rabble-rouser is still rousing rabbles. Things almost come to blows before Brady's dad wanders in looking for his son. Cut to the park.
This scene is just great. It's creepy and sad at the same time. Sheriff Haller is walking in a daze, repeating a Virgin Mary prayer (sorry, I'm not Catholic so I'm not sure what he's reciting exactly) and holding a torn and bloody kite. Uh-oh. Behind him in the gazebo we can see a bunch of red...gick...that we can assume is Brady.
Werewolf- 4
There's a very touching funeral for Brady at which Marty is bummed and Uncle Red kindly refrains from sneaking a drink from his flask.
Back at the bar (seriously Uncle Red's drinking pales in comparison to this town) the Rabblers decide to go out hunting, if you know what I mean. The sheriff tries to stop them and almost has them convinced until Brady's dad pops in to yell at the sheriff and say that he's going out to hunt up a little 'private justice'. And the sheriff is vanquished. Apparently an actual arrest would be too much and he seems oddly ok with a bunch of tanked up redneck's heading out to the woods with firearms. Probably because it's almost hunting season by now so he figures in a week or two they'll be legal to go hunting. The reverend begs them to stop. Pleads with them, actually. And it's a little sad. I'll get back to that in a bit.
Everyone's in the woods got some reason. Really this makes no sense. Two of the attacks were outside, true, but two were inside. As far as anybody knows The Tarker's Mill Mailer is a human person. But for some reason their best bet is...The woods. Ok. I think they're there just so the werewolf can get three or four at once and they can have somebody step in a bear trap. This makes me cringe every time I see it. Interestingly, Brady's dad is nowhere to be seen. I guess he went hunting 'private justice' elsewhere.
Sure enough the werewolf shows up and shows them who's boss.
Werewolf- 7
This is getting rather long and we're only halfway through! So I'm splitting this into two posts. Stay tuned tomorrow (I give my super-sacred word!) As we find out which dastardly townsfolk is the Tarker's Mill Mauler. Dun dun dunnnn!
Ok, I know I said I'd do The Shining movie and mini-series but I lied. Sorry. Thinking about it a bit more I don't think there's much more I can add that hasn't already been said. I'm also a coward. I don't want to have to defend my position against the fans of the movie who think Kubrick is a genius and if you don't like it you don't understand Kubrick's genius. They each have their flaws and their strengths and can't we all just get along!?
Ahem. That being said, I like the mini-series better. Fling rocks if you must.
Oh, just to warn you, thus far I have been curbing my foul tongue but it's getting really, really hard to do. So, from here on out there may be occasional swearing. Carry on.
So, instead of talking about a haunted hotel let's talk werewolves shall we? And if anybody mentions Twilight they are banished from my little kingdom forever. Not really, because I can't alienate all of my four readers who for all I know might be raging Twi-Hards.
Anyway, I'm not super into werewolves. Like I don't read a bunch of werewolf books and all of that. However, I do enjoy a good mauling every now and then as much as the next gal.
My favorite is An American Werewolf in London but Silver Bullet tanks right up there. My other favorite is Blood Moon but that's more of a reverse werewolf movie really. And, ok, I admit that Cursed holds a fond place in my heart.
I don't know about you guys but I'm a sucker for practical werewolf effects. A CGI werewolf leaves me cold.
Anywho, on to the movie.
SYNOPSIS:
The quiet little town of Tarker's Mills is being ravaged by a killer who mauls his victims. Marty Coslaw, who is paralyzed from the waist down and confined to a wheelchair, and his sister Jane start to suspect that the killings may not be the work of a man at all.
THE PICKINGS:
The movie opens with Older Jane narrating and telling us the horror began on this night in 1976 with what is assumed an accident at first.
We see a dunk railroad worker singing a lovely song about Rheingold Beer while going about his railroad worker business. We see him bush-stalked by a P.o.V. monster and his head goes flying. The guy is a known drunk (and in this town that's really saying something) so his death is written off as an accident.
Then we join our two teenage heroes at what I think is a town picnic or something like that. Jane is ordered by her mother to go check on her brother who is currently off plotting with his friend Brady to totally ruin Jane's day.
By the way, I hate Marty and Jane's parents. They're pretty much forcing Jane to take care of Marty while they do Very Important Things. Like watch the mayor give an exciting address and listening to the opening prayer by the town's preacher. They are basically making Jane resent Marty when, under other circumstances, they probably would get along pretty well. Plus, he seems pretty capable of doing a lot on his own.
Anyway, back to the very exciting picnic.
Jane goes looking for Marty while Brady hides in a tree with a snake. He dangles it in front of her, freaking her out and making her fall in a mud puddle, running her ugly plaid skirt (you're better off without it Jane, believe me) which Marty and Brady both find pretty damn funny. Brady takes it a little too far (over Marty's protests) and chucks the snake at Jane, making her shriek and fall in the mud puddle again. So, naturally, Jane's a little...perturbed. Actually, I believe her words are: "I hate you, you booger!"
She goes off to hide in some trees to cry a bit and try to clean up. While there she overheard an argument by Dickweed and SillyStella. Apparently, SillyStella is ' In Trouble' and is trying to tell Dickweed that the baby is his. His elegant reply is that it's her oven but it certainly ain't his bun cooking in it. What a gent. If this were a little bit later she'd probably say, "Whatever, see you at the D.N.A. test" but since it's 1976 she's bummed out and freaking out.
In the car ride home the parents take Marty's side, telling her to grow up and that she knows damn well Marty couldn't have climbed that tree to stop Brady (I disagree). Jane accuses them of taking Marty's side because he's crippled and then she pulls out a pair of big bread ones and yells, "Well it's not my fault he's crippled!" (Remember 1976 everyone, PC was not invented yet).
Anyway, her mother threatens to smack her. Ah, lovely parenting. So the happy little family all arrive home (sans smacking) and as her parents carry a bag or two of groceries into the house they have Jane help Marty into his house-wheelchair.
Ok, fortunately I've never had to be in this situation but is it normal to have at least three or four different wheelchairs? There's one on a trailer on the back of the station wagon (I don't see why they don't just put it inside their big ass station wagon but whatever), one that Jane helps him into at the house with that I'm assuming is his house wheelchair. Another that's motorized for school and back (more on that one later) and later he uses an elevator to get upstairs so I'm guessing he has one up there, too. That just seems like a lot to me.
Before they go in Jane tells Marty that their Uncle Red is getting divorced for the fourth time and that he's a drunk. A lovely little exchange of Is Not! Is so! follows and they go in.
Later that night Marty comes to Jane's room with some money to replace the nylons that got ruined in their prank. He dumps a wad (about three dollars) on her nightstand and asks if it's enough. She picks out a dollar or so and gives the rest back. In which she's a lot nicer than me because I probably would have taken all my sister's money. Just on general principle. Marty apologizes again for Brady being a dink and she apologizes for being mean the way she told them about their uncle.
Later that night at a different house SillyStella is taking a bunch of pills to kill herself over Dickweed. Why, I'm not sure. She's not a teenager, she looks about mid-twenties, early thirties so it's not like she can't get a job or something to support herself and her kid. And she apparently lives with her mom in a big ass house so I really don't know why exactly. I'd like to think it's over something a bit more important than that ass but I'm probably being optimistic.
Well, it hardly matters in the long run because le werewolf comes in to maul her before she can do it.
Werewolf-2
Our next scene is outside of the school where Marty, Brady and a little cutie named Tammy are talking. Seriously, she had the most pinchable cheeks. And an odd Southern accent. Brady jets and Marty gallantly offers to see Tammy home because she lives near SillyStella and she's scared at night of something in her family's greenhouse. Hmmm, what could it be? They chat a bit before Tammy's snazzy father comes out to order her into the house. He's dressed oh so charmingly in a bathrobe and undies and drinking a beer. He also utters this charming little bit of dialogue, " Damn cripple. Always end up on welfare. Oughta electrocute them, balance the goddamn budget." What a prince.
Late that night though there's something causing a ruckus amongst the flower pots so Mr. Charmer goes out to investigate. The werewolf makes short work of him as well. Although it makes me wonder what in the neck the werewolf was doing in there too begin with. Looking for some chives to go with dinner?
Werewolf- 3
We have a nice little family night when Uncle Red comes to visit. He's drinking and joking around with Marty and playing cards. He's also telling obscene jokes that contain the word...jackass...while mom stands around looking disapproving. After Marty goes to bed she lays into him for drinking in front of Marty (but honestly, he doesn't seem that trashed) and swearing and just generally being a Bad Uncle. She also yells at him that she's responsible for how he (Marty) feels when he sees him (Uncle Red) like this and how Marty feels when Red leaves. Um, ok? Is Red never supposed to leave? And Marty didn't seem that bothered by the drinking. It's not like he was stripping down or tripping over stuff or passing out in front of him. Nan's just a bitch I've decided.
There's some rabble-rousing at the local pub and we don't learn much except that the sheriff's deputy is a pussy. A curfew has also been instituted.
Marty and Brady are hanging out when Jane comes to find him. Marty's late home and the parents are quite understandably upset with Jane for not finding him sooner. Yeah, by the way, Brady and Marty have climbed a tree to retrieve Brady's kite. Told you so. Marty's apparently quite capable at climbing trees. And drainpipes.
They head home leaving Brady to fly his kite a bit longer because to Brady kite-flying trumps personal safety. Priorities you know.
Back at the local bar the main rabble-rouser is still rousing rabbles. Things almost come to blows before Brady's dad wanders in looking for his son. Cut to the park.
This scene is just great. It's creepy and sad at the same time. Sheriff Haller is walking in a daze, repeating a Virgin Mary prayer (sorry, I'm not Catholic so I'm not sure what he's reciting exactly) and holding a torn and bloody kite. Uh-oh. Behind him in the gazebo we can see a bunch of red...gick...that we can assume is Brady.
Werewolf- 4
There's a very touching funeral for Brady at which Marty is bummed and Uncle Red kindly refrains from sneaking a drink from his flask.
Back at the bar (seriously Uncle Red's drinking pales in comparison to this town) the Rabblers decide to go out hunting, if you know what I mean. The sheriff tries to stop them and almost has them convinced until Brady's dad pops in to yell at the sheriff and say that he's going out to hunt up a little 'private justice'. And the sheriff is vanquished. Apparently an actual arrest would be too much and he seems oddly ok with a bunch of tanked up redneck's heading out to the woods with firearms. Probably because it's almost hunting season by now so he figures in a week or two they'll be legal to go hunting. The reverend begs them to stop. Pleads with them, actually. And it's a little sad. I'll get back to that in a bit.
Everyone's in the woods got some reason. Really this makes no sense. Two of the attacks were outside, true, but two were inside. As far as anybody knows The Tarker's Mill Mailer is a human person. But for some reason their best bet is...The woods. Ok. I think they're there just so the werewolf can get three or four at once and they can have somebody step in a bear trap. This makes me cringe every time I see it. Interestingly, Brady's dad is nowhere to be seen. I guess he went hunting 'private justice' elsewhere.
Sure enough the werewolf shows up and shows them who's boss.
Werewolf- 7
This is getting rather long and we're only halfway through! So I'm splitting this into two posts. Stay tuned tomorrow (I give my super-sacred word!) As we find out which dastardly townsfolk is the Tarker's Mill Mauler. Dun dun dunnnn!
Wednesday, October 14, 2015
THE SHINING by Stephen King
(Book)
Welcome back! After my very optimistic post about updating at least every other day I went on vacation. Fooled you didn't I? We were up calling in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan which is so beautiful. And, honest truth, I almost enjoy the drive there more than the camping itself. It's such a beautiful drive. The U.P. was gorgeous, too. In the fall you really can't go wrong up there wherever you go. The colors will astound you. And it was great, except for the bees. And my car deciding to give itself an oil change by leaking oil like a sieve. And ending up in Wisconsin (briefly).
And the Mackinac Bridge.
Don't get me wrong, the bridge is beautiful and I'm sure 100% safe. But I hate to drive over it. I really, truly do. So, next time you're on it and you're stuck behind someone going 15 miles an hour and cringing at any little gust of wind, it's probably me. I'm very sorry.
Anywho, I'm back and while I was camping I managed to finish The Shining, which is one of my favorite books so unfortunately there will be very little snark to it this time. Also, tonight I watched The Shining mini-series (1997) and tomorrow I will force myself to watch The Shining (1980). I guess it's The Shining week here at Picking on Stuff.
But, enough about me and my mis-adventures in camping.
Let's hurry on to The Overlook hotel. I hear it's nice this time of year.
SYNOPSIS:
The Torrance family is spending the winter in the famous (or infamous, depending on who you ask) Overlook Hotel. Jack has been hired on as winter caretaker and his wife Wendy and give year old son Danny are accompanying him. Jack really needs the job and they are all hoping something good comes of their winter respite at the hotel.
For Jack it's the chance to put his recent past as a drunk behind him (and firing from a prestigious prep school) and finish up a play he's been working on. For Wendy it's the chance to put their fractured marriage back together and for Danny? Well, Danny's just along for the ride, no matter his personal feelings about the hotel.
As the snow closes in and isolates them, things go from bad to worse.
Because Danny has a gift. He had a powerful psychic gift that gives him glimpses of the future and the past.
And the dead at the Overlook aren't really dead. They're just waiting.
THE PICKINGS:
Spoilers ahead!!Daeha sreliops
This has been one of my favorite books ever since I was 11 or 12. Let's just sat my mom exposed me to horror at a very young age. And I've been thankful ever since.
So far it has been one of the few books that made sleeping on the couch preferable to crossing a dark living room and hallway to go to bed. I'm not too find of King's more recent works but back then he was in fine form.
It's strange how your perspective toward a book can change with age. When I was younger I connected more with Danny but reading it as an adult I can appreciate Jack's character a lot more. Wendy, to me, hasn't changed much. Her character is pretty solid no matter what. A little less complex and simply drawn than Danny and Jack. Which I guess isn't too much of a surprise since Danny and Jack are the main focus of the book. But for all the time we spend in Wendy's head her character is definitely secondary to Jack and Danny. That's not to say that she's a bad character, just less complex.
As a kid I thought of Danny as a brave kid, Jack was the boogeyman and Wendy was The Mom. But reading it now Danny impresses me a lot more. He's this little kid who has this enormous power that makes him privy to all sorts of information he doesn't want, need, or even know what to do with half the time. He knows The Overlook is a Bad Place but doesn't really want to say anything because of how important the job is to his father and his mother. He also had a naive optimism that maybe it's not really as bad as he thinks. But really, he's all alone with what he's feeling. So, yeah, I am a lot more impressed with Danny this time around.
Jack I'm finding myself a lot more sympathetic toward now. Not the whole bash-your-family's-head-in-with-a-mallet thing but his desperation is so palpable. This is truly his last chance to be something, to do something to get their life back on track and keep himself from sinking lower. Through a lot of the book I could picture him on a cliff with his fingernails slipping slowly off and the Overlook waiting at the bottom, jaws open wide. And of course he does slip off but when he does it's sad.
In some ways Jack's mental struggles at the Overlook are scarier than the more in-your-face horrific moments. Partly because they're understandable. The Overlook is at its most insidious when it preys on Jack's uncertainty about his actions being good for his family, his depression at always failing and his resentment at Wendy for not fully trusting him. His resentment is actually pretty understandable. In his eyes he's trying as hard as he can. He's quit drinking, cold turkey pretty much, he's trying to be a better father to Danny and a better husband to her but sometimes it doesn't seem enough. She's always checking for booze on his breath, tense when he and Danny play, generally watching him like a hawk and more than ready to throw the past in his face if he screws up. But then you have to look at it from Wendy's point of view. He hurt their son while drunk, and not just hurt him but broke his arm. His turnaround on the drinking was very sudden and it off the blue. Also, cold turkey isn't easy. So she's probably waiting for him to slip. She's also trying very hard to keep their family together. So both of them have equally valid feelings.
There is just so much good, creepy stuff in this book that it's hard to really get started on it. A lot of the evil is subtle, especially when it's working on Jack's mind. A lot of it seems like echoes that only Danny can see. Like the blood and brain, residue from a gangland slaying, on the walls of the Presidential Suite. Some of it's harmless but other manifestations are not so harmless. Like the lady that waits in Room 217. Small confession, while reading this at night in bed I was just to the part where she turns Danny around and chokes him and right at that moment my dog kicked me in her sleep and I about shot ten feet in the air and gave the wussiest screech known to man.
One of my favorite parts is when Jack finds the old scrapbook down in the basement. I'm a sucker for the history of places, especially if it's creepy history.
Some of Wendy's actions don't make much sense sometimes. When Danny tells them he saw the hedge animals move Jack is trying to tell Danny that it's his imagination. Danny 'reads' that Jack saw them too and says so, well, until Jack smacks him. Wendy freaks out about the slap (as well she should) but then never asks Jack about it at all. She also seems mildly upset about the CB radio getting smashed by Jack in his sleep but not nearly as much as you'd think she would be considering that it is literally their only connection to the outside world after the phones go down. It never shows her reaction to the snowmobile magneto being missing but again I'm assuming she takes it somewhat in stride. Of course, there's not a whole lot she can do except wait it out and hope for the best.
I know Jack's irritation with her, over her insistence to leave, stems mostly from the hotel and him not really wanting to leave but I kind of share it. Her big ideas are to take the snowmobile or snowshoe down. Now, the snowmobile is a perfectly reasonable idea but snowshoeing down the mountain in the thick of winter is insane. Maybe not for people experienced at it but these people do not seem the outdoorsy type at all. She just didn't seem to comprehend how quickly they could die out there.
I love how slowly the tension builds. I love the refrain of "Unmask! Unmask!" And "The red death held sway over all" throughout. That was the first Poe story I read and it's still my favorite one. And it fits the story so well.
My absolute favorite part though is near the end. Jack has royally fucked up Wendy and Dick Halloran and is going after Danny. Danny realizes it's pointless to run and stood and stands to confront the thing that's wearing his dad like a Jack suit. Which leads to my favorite exchange:
"They promised me I could look all I want!"
"Yes, they promised, but they lie." Said Danny.
I don't know why but it's always been my favorite line. Probably because it sums up the Overlook so succinctly. They promise a lot. But they lie and they take and they never give anything back.
This may have not been the greatest review of The Shining but it's always so much easier to nitpick than praise. When I like a book or movie it's a little hard to tell why I like them exactly. When I don't like something is much easier to point to certain things and say, "I don't like that or that".
So, tomorrow will be The Shining movie (1997). Which hopefully will be a little bit better reading.
(Book)
Welcome back! After my very optimistic post about updating at least every other day I went on vacation. Fooled you didn't I? We were up calling in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan which is so beautiful. And, honest truth, I almost enjoy the drive there more than the camping itself. It's such a beautiful drive. The U.P. was gorgeous, too. In the fall you really can't go wrong up there wherever you go. The colors will astound you. And it was great, except for the bees. And my car deciding to give itself an oil change by leaking oil like a sieve. And ending up in Wisconsin (briefly).
And the Mackinac Bridge.
Don't get me wrong, the bridge is beautiful and I'm sure 100% safe. But I hate to drive over it. I really, truly do. So, next time you're on it and you're stuck behind someone going 15 miles an hour and cringing at any little gust of wind, it's probably me. I'm very sorry.
Anywho, I'm back and while I was camping I managed to finish The Shining, which is one of my favorite books so unfortunately there will be very little snark to it this time. Also, tonight I watched The Shining mini-series (1997) and tomorrow I will force myself to watch The Shining (1980). I guess it's The Shining week here at Picking on Stuff.
But, enough about me and my mis-adventures in camping.
Let's hurry on to The Overlook hotel. I hear it's nice this time of year.
SYNOPSIS:
The Torrance family is spending the winter in the famous (or infamous, depending on who you ask) Overlook Hotel. Jack has been hired on as winter caretaker and his wife Wendy and give year old son Danny are accompanying him. Jack really needs the job and they are all hoping something good comes of their winter respite at the hotel.
For Jack it's the chance to put his recent past as a drunk behind him (and firing from a prestigious prep school) and finish up a play he's been working on. For Wendy it's the chance to put their fractured marriage back together and for Danny? Well, Danny's just along for the ride, no matter his personal feelings about the hotel.
As the snow closes in and isolates them, things go from bad to worse.
Because Danny has a gift. He had a powerful psychic gift that gives him glimpses of the future and the past.
And the dead at the Overlook aren't really dead. They're just waiting.
THE PICKINGS:
Spoilers ahead!!Daeha sreliops
This has been one of my favorite books ever since I was 11 or 12. Let's just sat my mom exposed me to horror at a very young age. And I've been thankful ever since.
So far it has been one of the few books that made sleeping on the couch preferable to crossing a dark living room and hallway to go to bed. I'm not too find of King's more recent works but back then he was in fine form.
It's strange how your perspective toward a book can change with age. When I was younger I connected more with Danny but reading it as an adult I can appreciate Jack's character a lot more. Wendy, to me, hasn't changed much. Her character is pretty solid no matter what. A little less complex and simply drawn than Danny and Jack. Which I guess isn't too much of a surprise since Danny and Jack are the main focus of the book. But for all the time we spend in Wendy's head her character is definitely secondary to Jack and Danny. That's not to say that she's a bad character, just less complex.
As a kid I thought of Danny as a brave kid, Jack was the boogeyman and Wendy was The Mom. But reading it now Danny impresses me a lot more. He's this little kid who has this enormous power that makes him privy to all sorts of information he doesn't want, need, or even know what to do with half the time. He knows The Overlook is a Bad Place but doesn't really want to say anything because of how important the job is to his father and his mother. He also had a naive optimism that maybe it's not really as bad as he thinks. But really, he's all alone with what he's feeling. So, yeah, I am a lot more impressed with Danny this time around.
Jack I'm finding myself a lot more sympathetic toward now. Not the whole bash-your-family's-head-in-with-a-mallet thing but his desperation is so palpable. This is truly his last chance to be something, to do something to get their life back on track and keep himself from sinking lower. Through a lot of the book I could picture him on a cliff with his fingernails slipping slowly off and the Overlook waiting at the bottom, jaws open wide. And of course he does slip off but when he does it's sad.
In some ways Jack's mental struggles at the Overlook are scarier than the more in-your-face horrific moments. Partly because they're understandable. The Overlook is at its most insidious when it preys on Jack's uncertainty about his actions being good for his family, his depression at always failing and his resentment at Wendy for not fully trusting him. His resentment is actually pretty understandable. In his eyes he's trying as hard as he can. He's quit drinking, cold turkey pretty much, he's trying to be a better father to Danny and a better husband to her but sometimes it doesn't seem enough. She's always checking for booze on his breath, tense when he and Danny play, generally watching him like a hawk and more than ready to throw the past in his face if he screws up. But then you have to look at it from Wendy's point of view. He hurt their son while drunk, and not just hurt him but broke his arm. His turnaround on the drinking was very sudden and it off the blue. Also, cold turkey isn't easy. So she's probably waiting for him to slip. She's also trying very hard to keep their family together. So both of them have equally valid feelings.
There is just so much good, creepy stuff in this book that it's hard to really get started on it. A lot of the evil is subtle, especially when it's working on Jack's mind. A lot of it seems like echoes that only Danny can see. Like the blood and brain, residue from a gangland slaying, on the walls of the Presidential Suite. Some of it's harmless but other manifestations are not so harmless. Like the lady that waits in Room 217. Small confession, while reading this at night in bed I was just to the part where she turns Danny around and chokes him and right at that moment my dog kicked me in her sleep and I about shot ten feet in the air and gave the wussiest screech known to man.
One of my favorite parts is when Jack finds the old scrapbook down in the basement. I'm a sucker for the history of places, especially if it's creepy history.
Some of Wendy's actions don't make much sense sometimes. When Danny tells them he saw the hedge animals move Jack is trying to tell Danny that it's his imagination. Danny 'reads' that Jack saw them too and says so, well, until Jack smacks him. Wendy freaks out about the slap (as well she should) but then never asks Jack about it at all. She also seems mildly upset about the CB radio getting smashed by Jack in his sleep but not nearly as much as you'd think she would be considering that it is literally their only connection to the outside world after the phones go down. It never shows her reaction to the snowmobile magneto being missing but again I'm assuming she takes it somewhat in stride. Of course, there's not a whole lot she can do except wait it out and hope for the best.
I know Jack's irritation with her, over her insistence to leave, stems mostly from the hotel and him not really wanting to leave but I kind of share it. Her big ideas are to take the snowmobile or snowshoe down. Now, the snowmobile is a perfectly reasonable idea but snowshoeing down the mountain in the thick of winter is insane. Maybe not for people experienced at it but these people do not seem the outdoorsy type at all. She just didn't seem to comprehend how quickly they could die out there.
I love how slowly the tension builds. I love the refrain of "Unmask! Unmask!" And "The red death held sway over all" throughout. That was the first Poe story I read and it's still my favorite one. And it fits the story so well.
My absolute favorite part though is near the end. Jack has royally fucked up Wendy and Dick Halloran and is going after Danny. Danny realizes it's pointless to run and stood and stands to confront the thing that's wearing his dad like a Jack suit. Which leads to my favorite exchange:
"They promised me I could look all I want!"
"Yes, they promised, but they lie." Said Danny.
I don't know why but it's always been my favorite line. Probably because it sums up the Overlook so succinctly. They promise a lot. But they lie and they take and they never give anything back.
This may have not been the greatest review of The Shining but it's always so much easier to nitpick than praise. When I like a book or movie it's a little hard to tell why I like them exactly. When I don't like something is much easier to point to certain things and say, "I don't like that or that".
So, tomorrow will be The Shining movie (1997). Which hopefully will be a little bit better reading.
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