Last Chapter:
Emily wowed us by quoting Emily Dickinson, said yes to a visit by her ex-husband and made an omelet. Oh yeah, she also found an arm on her porch.
Chapter Ten:
We skip straight to the cops arriving. All the cops. State, local, even the Sheriff. I thought the local cops only consisted of Sheriff Lucky and Deputy Dolly. Unless there are 'other' local cops. I dunno.
Anyway, DD is there as well. Sheriff Lucky called her over so Emily could have a womanfolk there to comfort her.
Emily doesn't want DD (of course) she wants a more motherly figure to hug her and save her from "all the big, insensitive men". End quote.
But DD don't roll that way. She varies between growling, complaining about getting out of bed in the middle of the night (um, aren't you a police officer?) and, my favorite, she thinks Emily's being a big baby about a little ol' severed arm because she already found a head so what's another appendage?
Emily somewhat appreciates it but only because it irritates her so she forgets to be "feminine and distraught".
Sheriff Lucky is still halfway stuck on the theory that it's some sicko digging up graves and tossing body parts about for a joke. But he's pretty sure the arm goes with the head so maybe not.
In the midst of their conversation she notices that DD has her police uniform on and pictures her jumping out of bed and straight into her uniform (which she pictures standing in a corner, maybe it's been bad?). Weird thing to visualize right then but ok. Or, maybe the alternative? That she got the call and got dressed like a person? Emily also notes, again, that the uniform is ill-fitting. I think we've heard this at least once per chapter.
Sheriff Lucky thinks that Emily is being targeted so wants to know if she's pissed anyone off lately. Emily wonders if he means was anyone pissed off at her and 'Miz' Poet. But, psha, that's crazy talk! Lucky thinks that only Emily's being targeted because she's alive and 'Miz' Poet's dead. So he doesn't think anyone had it in for the little old lady who's bits and pieces they keep finding everywhere?
DD says she's never heard any gossip about anyone disliking Emily and that makes Emily sarcastically happy. No one hates her. Yay.
Lucky goes on to tell her more news and says she write it up for the paper. There were saw marks on the spine so 'Miz' Poet didn't just keel over in the woods and got eaten by animals.
Emily, fantastic crime reporter that she is, doesn't want to hear anymore. She's more freaked out about a killer throwing body parts on her porch. Which I guess is fair.
DD offers to stay with her that night and forever until they catch the maniac. Emily thinks that even she'd be getting suspicious of herself right now but DD says no.
Emily is actually thankful about DD staying the night.
She decides the best way to not freak out is to have every light on in the house, even the radio and TV. Maybe she thinks she'll be killed before her next electric bill or something.
Everyone leaves except DD so now she's uncomfortable. I guess, from Emily's description. They have some tea and Emily notes that Deputy Dolly has a blank face but plenty going on behind it. Unless Emily is a telepath I have no idea how she would know this. Maybe DD's just zoning out. It is around 4 in the morning after all.
We get some inner monologue about her mother's china and how she flung it at her ex when she finally had enough of his screwing around. Personally, I'm not one for thrown crockery (or other things) when I'm angry. That just makes a mess and you're down some dishes.
DD sips (pinky up!) which Emily finds hilarious since she has a gun and badge and a dumpy chest. Whatever the hell that means. She just really can't resist, can she?
When in doubt pinky out
DD is being sly by wishing that Emily liked her more. Emily lies and says she does. If she doesn't like her then wtf are you investigating with her for? Dolly thinks it's the tickets she gave her. Emily gets shruggy so she doesn't have to answer.
Emily finally says that DD should have just given her a warning, at least the first time. Ok, first of all, to ticket or to warn is the cop's decision. Also, what? A warning would have made you listen better? Made you slow down? Because after the first ticket you got two more. So, I'm thinking you're pissy about having to pay a fine for speeding.
DD doesn't get angry or say anything at all, really. Which gives our oh-so-likeable heroine time to think that DD is a "small woman, pretending to be a big woman." I don't even know what that means. Big in attitude? Height? Booty? What?
I'm thinking we could start a drinking game with all of the DD (and other women) bashing that Emily does. Three shots already for the stiff uniform (implying it's never washed), dumpy chest, small/big woman.
Emily asks DD if she's married which she was when she was nineteen. For a couple of months. Probably still married, too because he just took off and neither got a divorce. DD says she knows about Emily's ex, the dirty, lying cheater. Emily's amazed people know this much since she's never told anyone. She also describes it as being like living among fairies and little folk. Uh, ok?
She tells DD about Jackson's impending visit. DD thinks i's weird because they're divorced. I think it's weird too. Emily explains about him taking a break to write a book (DD gets in a pretty good one about everyone from downstate writing books) and she's going to help him find a place to rent.
Again DD wonders why and so do I. Most of my exes I wouldn't let in my yard, let alone my house. Especially if the asshole cheated on me.
Emily's answer to DD is that she's a passive-aggressive doormat. Well, that should have been her answer but her real reason is that he didn't give her a chance to think about it. C'mon! She could have said N-O anytime but her feminine guilt stepped in or something.
Double D thinks that Emily should fix herself up some. For pride's sake. She also tells Emily that she went to beauty school for a while. This shocks Emily no end because the words DD and beauty school just don't go together. Another shot.
Emily thinks DD's kidding herself when she offers to do Emily's hair and make-up for her. But I'm not sure what about. Is DD kidding herself that she could teach Emily anything? Or kidding herself about making Emily look good.
DD offers again to stay with her and Emily gets narrowed eyes as she tries to figure out if she wants to hang out with her for the investigation or whether she wants her around at all.
DD also suggests Emily get herself a dog. Emily agrees because puppies are cute! I feel bad for this poor future puppy.
As we end the chapter the thought of DD and a puppy makes her feel a little braver.
Chapter End
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