The Secret Village
                                                                        (movie)

  When October hit I was hoping to do one movie and post per day. But, as you can probably tell, that's not working out so well. So, I'll try to do at least every other day and hopefully do one per day the week before Halloween. I'm still working on The Shining so that is still to come. Probably early next week since I'm about halfway through it. Tonight I'll be watching Session 9 so that should be up either tomorrow or the day after.
  But, in the meantime, let's pick on The Secret Village.

  Synopsis:
  The movie begins by showing us some text about a witchcraft scare in 1666 (get it, get it?) which was blamed on a slave who was hung for the deed. Later it was traced to an outbreak of ergot poisoning.
  A journalist named Rachel is doing a story on The Village, the poisoning, or both. She has an informant from The Village who tells her that The Village does not like reporters snooping around. They're so ashamed of their history that they won't talk about it and may even kill to protect their secret. They have no police force and are self-governed. The government does not even know they exist.
  Scariness ensues after she connects another mass tragedy on the same date in 1999 (get it, get it!?) and starts to suspect another one may be transpiring. Black-cloaked cultists from The Village start tailing her. As do two mysterious men in a sedan. I call them Goatee and Leather since we never learn their names.
  There's a twist (of course) and the movie ends.

 The Pickings:
 Spoilers ahoy!

  The movie opens with a guy named Greg driving and arguing with his girlfriend on a cell phone. It appears they've broken up. He arrives at a house that he is apparently renting with two women as his roommates. Rachel and Mary. You might be thinking at this point that Greg is our main character. No. After arriving at the house the story mostly follows Rachel with a few appearances by Greg. And who is Mary? You might be asking. I have no idea. We never see her, never know anything about her and after two brief mentions by Greg and Rachel, we never hear of her again. Just one of the many loose ends that the movie leaves dangling.
  Rachel interviews Paul, her informant, who reiterates over and over how just by talking to her their lives could be in danger, don't trust anyone and don't talk to anyone else about The Village. Although their conversation is mostly about ergot poisoning and it's effects. Apparently she's never heard of Google.
  So, afterward she does what any reasonable person would do. She starts asking anyone and everyone about The Village. Well, three people anyway. It never really shows a village. I saw three houses, one maybe two graveyards, a restaurant and a Very Mysterious Building. I'm not even sure where these buildings are in relation to each other.
  We're treated to a scene of Goatee about to be jumped by a bunch of teens wielding PVC pipe (that sounds extremely light and hollow when it's dropped). He fights them off and they flee but he manages to catch one of the boys and injects something into his neck.
  Rachel and Greg take a stroll and we learn he is there to write a screenplay about The Village and it's cult. I guess The Village isn't so secret after all. It should be called The Easily Findable Not-So-Secret Village. He tells her about the cult but it's a little unclear whether he means an actual cult or one that he's going to make up for his screenplay. He whines a bit about how his girlfriend is a meanie and doesn't support his dream and wants him to find a 'real' job. It's a little hard to feel sorry for him because unless you're a genius, most people do have to work a day job while they write. It's called 'paying the bills'. During this stroll we see Goatee again, chasing a young woman and again, injecting her with something.
  The movie isn't really too bad up until this point. It's a little cheesy, but not bad. It's at this point that the movie starts to really go off the rails.
 
Rachel meets up with Paul again who is in great distress (and dressed like Colonel Mustard). The Villagers are portrayed with really old-fashioned clothes but not from any specific era. He's freaking out about being seen together and to come to his house next time. Which is a strange place to meet if you're afraid of being watched but whatever. He throws a couple warnings at her. Then, he sees a ghost that Rachel does not see. That will be important information later.
  The packet he gave her contained a hand-drawn map to a cemetery that looks remarkably well-kept and maintained for being 'secret'. This is where I got confused whether there was one or two cemeteries. There are a lot of time jumps so I'm not sure if there are two separate cemeteries or different shots of the same one, sometimes her clothes were the only thing to go by. The Ghost Girl also makes an appearance here as well. And again Rachel does not see her.
  It got pretty annoying after a while. In the meantime she starts running into black-cloaked cultists (I mean, does any cultist worth it's salt wear any other color?) and by two men in a sedan, Goatee and Leather.
 Greg goes along with Rachel over to Paul's house for some more info but does not go inside. She comes running out, followed closely by Goatee and Leather. She tells Greg that Paul is dead. And because cops don't exist in that Village (or anywhere else apparently) they don't report it.
  Rachel goes to work, out of the blue, at the restaurant. She is pretty adamant that she's not doing it for the money. It's to get close to the townspeople (or Village People, if you prefer).
  There are three conflicting scenes here. In one, Greg, along with Leather, followed her to work. Leather takes off after seeing Greg. In one scene, Greg says that he will see her at the house and leaves. In another, Greg kisses her before leaving. And in yet another Leather speaks to her before leaving. So, take your pick. They're all equally likely.
  Greg goes to Paul's house and Goatee opens the door. End scene.
  Greg disappears for a bit and Rachel starts getting freaked out. After Paul's demise she gets help from an African-American man, named Jim, who claims he's helping her because it was his ancestor that was executed. He shows her a building where he claims the cult is keeping prisoners and experimenting on them with the ergot.
  Greg comes back and tries to get her to leave with him but she decides to take a shower first. After she gets out she sees Greg snooping through her laptop and take two of her books outside and give them to Leather. She locks Greg out, gets dressed (in a nifty black dress and heels, because when you're being chased by cult members it's important to look your best). She meets Jim at The Very Mysterious House and he shows her the kids that are being experimented on. She takes a few pictures and calls her editor to send the police there. He's more concerned that she missed the arbitrary deadline for her piece and the phone breaks up. Because apparently the phone in her hand could not in any way, shape or form be used as a phone. Greg injects her with something and we fade out to the big 'surprise'.
  Rachel was suffering from ergot poisoning the entire time and hallucinated Paul, Jim, and the cult. Leather and Goatee are real. They are the actual owners of the home she believed was Paul's. So, yeah, I'm sure they were pretty surprised when this random chick walked into their house and started questioning thin air. So, they were chasing her down to try and help her. Because, you know, stalking is the best way to approach an obviously mentally unstable woman. When they spoke to Greg they told him they knew a 'specialist doctor' in New York that Greg could go see him. That was what he injected her with. Because doctors don't need to actually see their patients before diagnosing and prescribing for them I guess.
 
  The twist, frankly, sucks. It's telegraphed a mile away. Plus, the movie flat-out cheats to try and make us believe that Rachel is in deadly peril. First it shows us Goatee injecting the kid. If it's real, then why? If it's not, then huh? Also, Ghost Girl that Paul saw and Rachel did not. So, her hallucinations are seeing ghosts? And Ghost Girl also appears at the cemetery where literally nobody sees it.
  Again, some of it just makes no sense. There are no police in The Village = No police anywhere. She has a phone that works. She's constantly calling her editor, so we know the phone works. Why doesn't she call? Or better yet, drive the fuck on out of there. She has a car that runs perfectly. She's in fear for life but she stays? And it's not because of the big 'thing' that's being planned. That gets dropped almost right away.
  The side-effects of the poisoning are very convenient, as well. She only gets the hallucinations. No shakes, no gastrointestinal gangrene. Other than the stuff she's seeing, she's fine!
 Also, the scene where Greg gives the books to Leather makes absolutely no sense, either. It looks purposely manufactured to just draw out the suspense.
 So, what's the deal? It almost feels like they started with one idea, then someone said, "I have a great idea for a twist!" and it went from there.

  You can see the seeds of a really good idea but it was buried under too many time-shifts in an effort to be clever. It would have been at least a little better if it had been told in a more linear fashion. The acting certainly wasn't the greatest but I have seen worse.
  The two leads had no chemistry and the 'romance' felt forced.  Where it fails the worst though is the low production values and the over-the-top dialogue.

   I'd give it a 2/5 stars. Certainly some of the longest 80 odd minutes out of my day.

  Any comments? Arguments? If there's anything I can do better, please, let me know. I'm open to suggestions!

  Check back in a day or two for my review of Session 9.