SLEEPY HOLLOW
HEADS WILL ROLL
Best. Tagline. Ever.
I got a request to do Sleepy Hollow. Naturally, I aim to serve. And, to be honest, it's not exactly painful because I love Sleepy Hollow. I love the atmosphere, the acting is to notch (with one slight exception) and the sets are gorgeous.
And, oh yeah, an awesome HellHorse and requisite Headless rider. What's not to love?
And yay! for the request! That means I might actually have a reader or two and that they'd like me! Bestill my little Luna heart.
It may not be 'classic' but it's a really fun movie to watch. It has suspense, a bit of bloodshed, humor and loads and loads of atmosphere.
SYNOPSIS:
Detective Ichabod Crane is being taken to task for his unorthodox scientific methods. He's being given a chance to prove himself. He's being sent to upstate New York to investigate a rash of beheadings in, you guessed it, Sleepy Hollow. Well he prove that science and reason are the ultimate crime-solving technique? Or will superstition make him it's bitch?
The Pickings:
I should confess right now that this will be a little bit biased because anything Headless Horseman related (or Johnny Depp for that matter) makes me squeal like the girliest fangirl of them all. No matter how cheesy the cartoon or movie about him the awesomeness of the HellHorse and Horseman cannot be screwed up. I even love The Haunted Pumpkin of Sleepy Hollow and that's a pretty cheaply made cartoon. Of course, The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad by Disney is my absolute favorite.
It's also one of the few movies based on a book in which I fully support the changes. The movie has a brisk, tension-filled pace to it that is broken up by humor. The humor is used well and is never thrown in our face.
The book plods a little slower but I won't trash on it too much since it has been a very long time since I've read it.
But enough about the book. Let's get on to the movie.
We open with a nervous man being driven hastily through a dark night in the country. The be-wigged passenger hears a noise and checks on his drives who is in the box of the carriage (the bench which the carriage driver sits). When he sees that his driver is now minus a head he wigs on out (not sorry for the pun) and jumps from the carriage. A brief chase ensues in which the passenger runs into a scarecrow that looks remarkably similar to Pumpkin Jack from The Nightmare before Christmas. Wonder what he could be doing there ;).
Now we're in New York with Constable Ichabod Crane. He's inspecting a body on the wharf. He wants to do an autopsy on it and he and his boss bicker about it a bit. Then we go to the courtroom where the scariest judge of EVER is presiding (Christopher Lee). He tells Ichabod that he is sending Ichabod to upstate New York where the town of Sleep Hollow has had a rash of grisly beheadings. He also makes it clear that this is his chance to prove himself.
So now we head to Sleepy Hollow, a sleepy little hamlet. They're having a party to raise people's spirits. Or something. With all the death and dying it seems in poor taste to me but maybe they're just bored. It also involves an odd party game called ' The Pickety Witch' which involves a blindfolded girl trying to guess whose face she touches and gives them a kiss if she guesses wrong.
Sidenote: I did a search for ' The Pickety Witch' but all I got were references to Sleepy Hollow and a band with that name. So I'm guessing it's not a real game.
She grabs Ichabod as he passes through and he says he is a stranger but she plants one on his cheek anyway. She takes off her blindfold to reveal Katrina Van Tassel (Christina Ricci).
She takes him to her father who has arranged a meeting with the other Important Community Men who tell him about the Headless Horseman and his origins. He was a Hessian fighter in the Revolutionary War who enjoyed the bloodshed and carnage. He was finally caught when soldiers shot his horse and he ran into the woods, trying to hide but was captured when a little girl snaked a twig to attract the attention of the soldiers. They killed him and buried him but now he has returned.
Ichabod scoffs at their superstition and insists that it is a person of flesh and blood behind these murders.
The horseman rides again that night.
That next morning Ichabod rides out to inspect the corpse. Despite some squeamishness he did an admirable job. He realizes that the head is missing and that the only reason to normally take the head is to prevent identification. Since everyone knows the deceased anyway the heads must serve another purpose.
Not sure how much later at the grave of the newest victim the dead man's son offers his services to Crane. At first Crane refuses but changes his mind. The Magistrate (who is Mr. Durstley on the Harry Potter movies but he kind of looks like a hedgehog in this so he'll be Magistrate Hedgehog here). Anyhow, he tells Crane that there are the bodies but four graves. Ichabod figures out this means that the Widow Winship, who was one of the victims, was pregnant.
That night Ichabod is attacked by a Headless Horseman and gets a flaming pumpkin chucked at his head. Before he passes out he hears laughter and realizes it was Brom Bones and his friends. The awesome part about this is that the way it's staged it looks like a shot from the Disney Ichabod Crane. Which is totally cool.
While Ichabod is out he has a dream/flashback to when he was a child. These scenes are stylistically different from the rest of the movie. The movie is very drab, faded colors. The dream sequences with his mother are brightly lit and warm. Except for the grim scenes that we know are foreshadowing something forbidding. Then the color palette changes to stark colors. Whites and reds and blacks.
He wakes early the next morning to find Katrina reading a book by the fire. She hides it quickly and explains that her father believes it was the reading of romance novels that gave her mother the fever that she died from. Which seems dumb to us but that was a legitimate criticism of novels at the time. Also, by romances she probably doesn't mean romantic love stories which are what we call romances now but Gothic horror tales ala The Castle of Otranto by Horace Walpole and Mysteries of Udolpho by Ann Radcliffe.
Anywhy, she randomly decides to give him a book of spells that was her mother's. She tells him that the land her family lives on used to be Van Garret landand that she and her family moved into a small cottage when she was very young. She offers to show him the cottage and they ride out to see it. She notices some unusual scars on his hands and asks him about them but he brushes it off. The cottage is a ruin now and she talks a little bit about her mother and points out an archer carved into the back of the fireplace. She doodles some designs in the dirt that upset Ichabod. They resemble the ones his mother drew.
It's kind of hard to tell daytime from nighttime because of the gloom that pervades the movie, I'm assuming it's night because the next scene is evening.
He confronts Magistrate Hedgehog about what he knows. Hedgehog is fleeing the village in fear for his life, especially after having divulged the secret to Ichabod.
The Horseman appears and beheads Magistrate Hedgehog but appears to have no interest in Ichabod. Ichabod faints.
Later at Van Tassel's. Ichabod is freaking out over there actually being a Horseman. Johnny Depp is hilarious. He's all jammed up in the corner acting like a total wuss. Then he faints again.
Back to the dream world. Young Ichabod is playing with his mom in the garden. Ok, why is holding hands and spinning considered so much fun? I can think of at least three movies that show it and in all honesty if it were me, I'd throw up. Then she goes spinning up into the air. In the dream Ichabod's father catches her little witchy doodles in the fireplace (apparently she was too stupid to erase them) and drags her off to the evil white and red room because we all know how evil drawings of a spiral and a star can be.
Ichabod wakes up to overhear the Important Community Men arguing over sending Ichabod back and getting a better detective. One who doesn't faint all the time I presume.
Ichabod comes downstairs to tell them he is resolved on solving the mystery and he's off to the Western Woods where the Horseman died. It cracks me up that the only person willing to go with him is the kid, Young Masbeth.
So, off they head into the woods. They find a cave that is inhabited by a woman who appears to be a witch. She tells Masbeth to take a hike and summons 'something' called the Other which tells him to go to the Tree of the Dead , the Horseman's resting place.
Some people think this part is cheesy but I love it. The set is awesome and the actress does an excellently creepy job.
Soon Ichabod and Masbeth realize that they're being followed and meet up with Katrina. So, the only people in the village full of strapping men and the only two people that would go with him are a boy and a girl.
They find the Tree of the Dead. Ichabod hacks into it and a bunch of heads come tumbling out. There's a very cute moment where Masbeth hides his face and Katrina holds him. It's very sweet.
Ichabod dis up the Horseman's grave and sees that the body is still there but his head is missing. Scary things start happening around the Tree and the coolest fucking thing of always happens when the Horseman and the HellHorse burst from the Tree. Ichabod follows.
Since this is getting a little long I'll break it into two parts like I did Silver Bullet. I'd be happy to know which way is easier to read. All in one post like Fright Night or broken down into two parts like Silver Bullet.
As always I'm open to any suggestions or comments. If there's a movie you'd like to know more about just let me know!
!!! HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!
Saturday, October 31, 2015
Thursday, October 29, 2015
Just a short post....
I'm trying out different ways to do the movies and I would really like some feedback. Are they too long? Are some not long enough? If they are longer would they be better broken down into two parts or just one?
I would really appreciate any feedback. Are there things I could add? Anything to not do? As it is I'm just kind of wringing it, trying out different ways to do the reviews/recaps. So please bear with me while I experiment with the best ways to do these.
I do thank the readers I have. Thank you!
I'm going to try to add gifs and some other things to try to make them a little more visual and fun but, like I said, it might be a bit before the blog sells into a permanent style.
So hang in there with me!
I'm trying out different ways to do the movies and I would really like some feedback. Are they too long? Are some not long enough? If they are longer would they be better broken down into two parts or just one?
I would really appreciate any feedback. Are there things I could add? Anything to not do? As it is I'm just kind of wringing it, trying out different ways to do the reviews/recaps. So please bear with me while I experiment with the best ways to do these.
I do thank the readers I have. Thank you!
I'm going to try to add gifs and some other things to try to make them a little more visual and fun but, like I said, it might be a bit before the blog sells into a permanent style.
So hang in there with me!
Wednesday, October 28, 2015
Welcome to Fright Night...For Real
Hello everyone! Three more days until Halloween! Confetti! Fireworks! Candy!
When I first started the blog I really wanted to do one movie per day. Well, we can all see how well that turned out. I just have too little time to do it as much as I'd like to. So, I'm going to try out a schedule of every Tuesday, Friday, and Sunday. So let's see how that works out.
Today's movie is Fright Night. Not the 'reboot'. Seriously, who do they think they're kidding? It's a fancy term for a remake. I can't comment on how well it turned out because I haven't seen it yet, I'm just going by how they usually turn out. Total Recall? Robocop? But we're doing the 1985 version. I love this movie. It's just a really fun vampire movie. And pretty much a lot of the joy of vampires has been sucked (pardon the pun) out of the vampire genre as of late. Of course, most of the humor comes from Chris Sarandon asPrince Humperdink Jerry Dandrige because he's just so great at evil smugness. And Roddy McDowell because he's just awesome. However, my love for the movie does not preclude picking on it. Let's get to the good stuff!
SYNOPSIS:
Charley lives next door to a vampire but no one believes him. And the vampire knows it.
The Pickings:
We start off with Charley and his girlfriend Amy 'studying' which to most teenagers means sucking face. Which is what they're doing. Amy tries to distract him by pointing out that his favorite late night monster movie host is on, Peter Vincent. But no, it's not Elvira so Charley just wants to play kissy face. He keeps trying to cop a feel, she tells him no until she pushes him off. He gets mad and says that they've been going out "almost a year and all he ever hears is Charley stoop it!"
Gee, almost a year, huh? Damn, Charley, how have you made it this far?! Sorry, sarcasm overload. He apologizes and she says very meaningfully, "Let's get into bed".
They suck face some more but Charley gets distracted by two guys carrying a coffin across the yard. While Amy gets into bed he grabs his binoculars and decides to do a little pre-sex peeping.
This next part I thought was really cute. Amy takes her shirt off, looks down at herself and immediately covers herself with her shirt as she tells Charley that she's ready in a really nervous voice. It definitely seems like something a girl who's nervous about her body and her first time would do. On another note I like the fact that they look like real people. Charley's no stud muffin and Amy has a healthy looking body and is a little bit on the plain side. She has a really beautiful smile and would look a lot better if they hadn't given her a grandma hair style.
Back to the story, he's too busy watching the guys next door to notice he has a half naked girl on his bed. Idiot. He tells her about the men and the coffin and she scoffs a bit. I think I would have at least looked but whatever. He stays glued to the window so she gets pissed and goes storming out of his room, with her shirt still hanging open, I might add. He chases her down the stairs and she says "First you want to make love and then you don't!" It's so cute that they think teenagers actually say 'make love'.
Cut to Charley's mom sitting on the couch. Whoops! But it's ok because Charley's mom seems afflicted with the same hearing issues that plague characters on tv and movies. Namely, that a loud argument could be carrying on right next to them and nobody will hear anything. Charley keeps peeping out the window while Amy and his mom chat. Amy tries twice to say goodnight to him but he can't seem to stop looking out the oh-so-fascinating window and just blows her off. She storms out (again) and slams the door. His mom scolds him mildly for being rude (not quite the word I would have chosen but ok). He tells her about the new neighbors and their voices fade out a bit as a newscaster talks about a man being murdered that evening.
Not much happens the next day at school except that we learn Charley is failing trig and Amy is still pissed at him. We're also introduced to his friend 'Evil' Ed.
Charley arrives home from school to see a cab pulling up and a hot blond gets out. I'm not sure why but I always had the impression that she was an escort. The movie never says but we'll call her that. She asks if she's at the right address and of course not, she's going to the Vamp House.
Charley goes to his own escort-less home where he and his mother talk a little bit about the new neighbors. He wonders who they are and she says she doesn't know but she's heard that he had a live-in carpenter and with her luck he's probably gay. Um, ok? Live-in carpenter equals gay I guess. *shrug*
Charley says he's going upstairs to study and his mom is shocked. I am too when I see that he's actually studying rather than being Creeper Charley with his binoculars. As he's knocking off for the night he gets startled by a scream.
At a diner the next day Amy comes to make up with him. He apologizes and she says no, it was really her fault (WTF woman! He was being a jackass!). They make up and she starts to gush about how much she's missed him but he gets up in the middle of it to check out the tv which is telling about a dead body that was found mutilated and the picture is that of the woman he saw the day before. His friend Evil joins him to say that on the police scanner it said that she wasn't the only murder and that they were both found decapitated. Which soaked a debate at the house on why he would do this. A few of the suggestions were to hide the bite marks, easier disposal and to get rid of any DNA. Which sparked another debate on whether or not vampires leave DNA.
Anywho, Amy gets pissed and smashes a really nasty looking sloppy joe into his face. And, you guessed it, storms off.
Back in the 'burbs we see the may-be-gay Live-In Carpenter painting the windows black. He looks out to see Charley sneaking not-so-sneakily into the property and trying to open the door to the cellar. He surprises Charley and wants to knew what he's doing there. Charley says nothing and Live-In tells him to keep it that way. Charley rushes off to his own house. Ok, both the movie and the music are telling me to be suspicious but Charley was trespassing and if some kid just walked into my property and started going in my cellar I'd be a little pissy too.
That night Charley decides to put his Creeper skills to good use and spy on the neighbors. He dozes off (probably a junk food induced coma judging by all the wrappers on the floor). The porn music wakes him up in time to see the neighbor and a hot brunette getting sexy, right at the window. How convenient for Peeper Charley! Jerry's about to get his bite on when he notices Charley watching and pulls down the blinds. Charley notices that it's been a while since Jerry had a manicure.
Later that night Charley notices Live-In carrying a suspicious garbage bag. Jerry joins him, strong from the shadows just after the flapping of wind is heard. I get that it would be cool to be able to do that but why? It would have just been easier to walk down the stairs. From Charley's peeper bushes he sees Jerry toss a fancy purse to Live-In and tells him not to forget it. Charley's mom calls him from the porch and Jerry tosses the apple he's been snacking on next to Charley. My only theory on the whole apple thing is that he's part fruit bat.
Charley very gracefully and sneakily runs back to his house where he tries to tell his mom what he saw. She thinks he had a nightmare. He tells her that he thinks Jerry is a vampire and his mom is all "A WHAT?!"
Nice segue to Amy repeating the same thing. For some reason she thinks it's part of a plot to get her back. He gets annoyed and tells her he's going to the cops.
I'm sure this will go well.
Later, Charley follows the detective to Vamp House. Soooo cops bring witnesses with them? That doesn't seem like a good idea. They go in and the detective asks to see Jerry who, since it's daytime, is 'out'. The detective confronts Live-In with Charley's accusations about setting the girl there and Live-In says that she was but left sometime during the night. Charley says "Liar, liar, pants on fire, I saw you carry her out in a garbage bag."
Live-In says he did take out the garbage and offers to show it to the detective. He also asks Charley if he actually saw a body and Charley had to confess that he didn't. Live-In starts to show them out. Ok, first of all, the body question should have come from the detective and secondly, I always thought that it was the detective that ends the interview. Through most of this 'investigation' the chip is a spectator. Charley then tells them to check the cellar. The detective asks what he thinks they'll find down there. Live-In repeats his question with hilarious smugness and a goofy eyebrow wiggle. Charley obliges by putting his foot awesomely in it.
"You'll find Jerry Dandrige! Sleeping the sleep of the undead!"
Way to shoot yourself in the foot kid. The cop of course laughs at him and Live-In is a smarmy, hilarious ass about it, too. The cop leaves, followed closely by Charley. The detective threatens Charley that he'll throw him in jail if he ever comes to the station house again. Because that's a thing that's totally legit.
Live-In congress out on the balcony to give Charley a meaningful stare as he leaves. Charley realizes "Oh, shit!" and takes off for Evil's house for vampire blocking advice. Evil does it for eight bucks. He tells Charley about the usual stuff like garlic, holy water, stakes, and crosses. The slight twist on the cross thing is that you have to have faith for it to work which I've never heard before but it makes sense when you think about it. And if course you must never ever ever invite the vampire in.
Our next shot of Charley is him making his Windows down. He hears his mother calling him so goes downstairs in a pretty chipper mood which is promptly crushed when he sees who the visitor is...Jerry from next door! Surprise!
And I find it hilarious that they're drinking Bloody Marys. I wonder who chose that?
Mom introduces them and Charley looks freaked out. Mom's do thrilled to have such a beefcake in her living room that she's not picking up on the not-so-subtle creepiness between her son and Jerry. Jerry says now that he has permission he'll probably be stopping over quite often. Charley says he's not feeling well and bails. Jerry calls that he'll see him. Soon.
Late at night Charley's on Vamp Patrol and hears a noise downstairs. Armed with his trusty cross he goes to investigate. While he's down there Jerry enters the house through Mom's window. He kindly bypasses her but does jam her door so she can't interfere. He goes to Charley's room.
Charley finds nothing downstairs, not even a cat and goes back to his room where Jerry proceeds to throw him around like a rag doll. So much for not waking mom up. He tells Charley that he's going to give him something he doesn't have, a choice. He can leave Jerry alone or he can keep involving himself and get himself and his loved ones in a world of hurt. Or, you know, dead. He doesn't really give Charley much time to answer though. Charley tries to use the cross but I guess his faith skills are still too weak because it doesn't work. A pencil to the hand, however, does. Jerry full-on vamps before deciding to bail. Mom is banging on the door wanting to know what all the noise was and Charley tells her it was a nightmare. Because I always trash my room during nightmares. Then she decides to share some bizarre dream about being at a white sale (?) stark naked. They hear a crashing noise outside but Charley just says it's critters and tells her to go back to sleep. The phone rings and it's Guess Who! Jerry tells Charley that he just trashed Charley's car but that it's nothing compared to what he's going to do to Charley tomorrow night. After the call Charley's eyes are drawn to the tv where Peter Vincent is blathering on how he knows that vampires are real and how he's fought them in their many guises. Charley gets the insane idea that Peter Vincent is his salvation. Which makes absolutely no sense at all! I'm not going to call Arnold Schwarzenegger if I get mugged just because he played a cop once.
Charley, however, politely disagrees with me and thinks it's a fabulous idea.
The next day Charleystalks waits for Peter Vincent outside of the studio. They have a chat about vampires and Charley wants to know if Peter Vincent meant what he said about vampires. In character Peter Vincent affirms he does. When he realizes that Charley is serious about there being a vampire that needs slaying Peter Vincent calls him crazy and bails. Should have tried Buffy, Charley.
Amy and Evil arrive at Charley's house to see if he's ok. They go in to find Charley sharpening stakes and apparently he did a little candle shopping while waiting for Vincent. There are candles everywhere! Amy wants to know what's going on and Charley tells her that before sunset he's going to go over and put a stake in Jerry's heart. She points out that if he does that then he'll be a murderer. Charley's retort is that you can't murder a vampire because they're already dead. Fair enough. She also points out that if he gets killed by Jerry then who'll stop him. Evil goes along with her saying that Jerry will suck his way through the town "Not that it'd be much of a loss"
Amy also points out that it will be dark soon and that he wouldn't want to be there then. He agrees. She suggests trying to get Peter Vincent to help (what is with this! getting an actor who plays a vampire killer to help you is not a legit strategy!). Charley tells her that he tried Vincent already and got turned down. She says that she and Evil will try and makes him promise not to do anything until he hears from them again. He agrees. Much of this conversation has a "Let's humor the crazy person" tone to it but Amy does seem sincere about wanting to help him even though it's pretty clear she doesn't believe him.
Amy and Evil go to Vincent to try to get him to help. He says no at first, claiming to be busy with numerous movie contracts even though you can tell that he's lying it of his ass. Amy offers him $500 to help and that changes his mind. Evil suggests a plan to 'test' Jerry to prove to Charley that he's not a vampire. Vincent calls Jerry to make sure it's ok. He agrees but vetoes crosses because he's a born again Christian (not sure what that has to do with anything but ok) he also says holy water is a no-go for the same reason. Honestly, he might as well scream "I'm really a vampire!" Vincent tells him it will just be regular tap water.
Jerry's all happy that they're having dinner in tonight because they're all coming there.
Much later they all arrive at Jerry's and Charley's losing his shit. He freaks out about Vincent leaving his stakes in the car. Vincent says they have to have proof first but Charley's worried that once they prove it Dandrige will kill them all before Vincent can get his stakes but Vincent declares he is there to protect them because he's in full-on Peter Vincent, Vampire Killer mode.
They enter and Jerry makes a stunning entrance at the top of the stairs. He shakes hands with Peter Vincent and says he found his movies amusing. Then charms Evil by telling him they should get together and talk because they probably have a lot of the same interests, such as horror movies (lol). Actually, Evil reminds me a lot of myself in high school. Still not sure if that's good or bad.
Then he charms the undies off of Amy before joking about that being something vampires do and everyone laughs. Well, everyone except Charley. While Vincent and Jerry are talking Charley conveniently sees an open packing crate nearby and checks out a painting that looks a lot like Amy before joining the vampire-outing party. Charley just wants to get going on the vamp test and never mind the chit chat. His friends are all "Rude!" But Jerry says he's used to it from Charley because Charley sicced the cops on him earlier. Vincent gives him the un-holy holy water with many a significant look between Jerry and Vincent. Jerry checks it holding it by the fire. Not really sure what this tells him but ok, movie. Maybe holy water sparkles to a vampire. He downs it in one go and Charley freaks out, saying it's impossible and that it couldn't have been really blessed. Vincent gives him an incredibly bitchy "Are you calling me a liar?" speech which is funny because he is.
However, while Amy and Evil make chit chat before going Vincent checks his mirror and sees no reflection. It freaks him out and he drops the mirror then hustles everyone out. One outside Charley confronts Vincent, asking him what he saw. Vincent tells him about no reflection and gtfo's.
Inside, Jerry finds the broken piece of mirror and looks thoughtful.
The trio start walking and Charley insists on him and Evil walking Amy home first. Evil wants to take a short cut through a dark alley that I'd avoid even if there weren't vampires. Charley and Amy both vote no and Evil calls them pussies and they go their separate ways. A second or two later they hear a scream and find Evil viewing and covering his face. Charley starts giving him an "I told you the vampires would get you" but Psych! Evil was just messing with them. They get huffy and leave.
After they leave Evil starts getting chased down alleys by Dandrige. When Dandrige finally corners him he offers Evil a chance to join him and finally belong. Stephen Geiffreys acts the hell out of this scene. Without ever really saying anything. He does it all in looks with one tear going down his face and it is great.
Farther down the street Amy and Charley hear him scream. Amy thinks he's just messing with them again so they continue walking. They notice Dandrige behind them and try to hide from him in a club. Charley decides to call Peter Vincent for help and Amy confesses that she paid him to be there. That doesn't matter to Charley so he calls him anyway.
Cut to Vincent's house. Evil is banging on his doorclaiming a vampire is after him. Sucker that he is Vincent lets him right in and Evil reveals that he's now a vampire and tries to attack Vincent. It never says but I'm assuming Dandrige sent him there to take care of the Vincent loose end. Vincent pulls a cross on Evil and brands him on the head with it. Evil flees after telling Vincent that "The Master will kill you! Slowly, oh so sloooowly!"
Back to the club. Dandrige follows them in and hypnotizes Amy into dancing with him to bad '80s music. He also apparently changed his dorky grandma Christmas sweater that he was wearing at the house into a much sexier collar-bone baring sweater along the way.
They dance and Dandrige starts to leave with Amy. Charley and a bouncer try to stop him but Dandrige decides "Screw subtlety" and rips the dude's throat out with his claws.
My only problem with this scene (besides Dandrige deciding to screw being incognito) is that Dandrige is walking away with Amy, she's following him willingly. Charley comes up and says "Let her go!" and the bouncer decides to go after Dandrige. How does he know that Dandrige isn't her boyfriend and he just let Amy's stalker escape with her?
Not that it matters because Dandrige gets her back and he, Live-In, and Evil all take off with her in a truck.
Charley goes to beg for Vincent's help and find him packing to leave. Charley begs for help and tells him that they have Amy. Vincent is troubled by this but his great plan is to call the cops. Because that worked so well the first time. Charley tells him that it's up to them alone.Vincent confesses that he was paid to be there today and that he's afraid. Charley says, "But you're Peter Vincent! The great Vampire Killer!" To which Vincent rightfully replies "That is a character in a movie!" Which is what I've been saying this whole time. He tries to get him to help but Vincent's too afraid.
Meanwhile at the Vamp House Amy is all dressed up. Jerry enters shirtless and we have a nice little seduction and chomp!
Arriving at the Vamp House Charley meets up with Vincent in full Peter Vincent, Vampire Killer mode. The front door opens for them and they enter. Jerry's waiting for them looking sublimely smug. Vincent tries to cross him but it doesn't work because of too little faith. Which I didn't get exactly because Vincent uses it on Evil just fine. But, maybe he was less sure of himself because he knew Dandrige was far older, more powerful and far more intelligent than Evil.
Fortunately, Charley had faith to spare do he crosses Dandrige which makes him back up. But charley gets a little too cocky and turns to talk to Vincent. Live-In pops up to jack Charley across the head, knocking him out. Vincent flees in terror.
Vincent runs next door, calling for Charley's mom. When he tries to make a phone call he realizes that the phone cord has been cut (ah, cell phones, how you've changed things) he rushes upstairs and is momentarily relieved by seeing a person lying in the bed. Unfortunately, it is Evil Ed wearing a red mop? on his head. He says that Mrs. Brewster isn't there. Then he sticks his tongue out at Vincent. Evil is so funny here. I hate what happens next. And yes, younger me had a bit of a crush on him. Even as a grody-toothed vampire.
Vincent stumbles out of the room and down the stairs. Evil, as a wolf, comes out of the bedroom to attack Vincent and finish him off. The wolf with the red eyes is majorly cool looking. He lines at Vincent and Vincent defends himself with a broken piece of wood. He must be taking tips from Buffy's 'anything can be a stake' handbook.
What follows is a very well done effects job of a wolf devolving back into a human. And again, Stephen Geoffrey and Roddy McDowell acts the fuck out of it.
Back at Vamp House Dandrige is carrying Charley upstairs and roses him on the bed next to a shivering, sweaty, unconscious Amy. He throws Charley a stake and tells him that he's gonna need it. Charley turns Amy over and realizes that she's been vamped. Dandrige hears him scream and smiles happily to himself.
Vincent sneaks back over and tries to break the door down to the room in which Amy and he ate being held captive. Dandrige realizes that Vincent is back. Charley asks if they can save Amy and Vincent tells him that if they kill Dandrige before dawn then that should work.
They try to leave and are confronted by Dandrige's ghoul or whatever the fuck he is. They shoot him. And this makes very little sense. The 'ghoul' or whatever, bleeds red from the forehead when shot. When they finally kill him he starts to disintegrate in puddles of embalming fluid and sand. So, he has real blood in his head but embalming fluid everywhere else? I just don't get this. He also can walk around in the daytime so he's not a vampire but the gun doesn't work and they kill him with a stake to the chest, like a vampire. I honestly don't know.
They check on Amy who is vamping out more. Her hair had also gotten remarkably longer. They go in search of Dandrige who is flapping around outside. He commands Amy to arise and kill them. They lock her in the room and hunt for Dandrige some more. He jumps through the window (destroying a beautiful stained glass window) and starts to come after them until Vincent finds where he left his faith and pulls the cross on him. All the clocks start going off, letting Dandrige knew that sunrise is approaching. Even though you can see it behind him I guess it doesn't bother him? He turns into a skinless bat puppet and attacks Vincent. They drag him into the sun and he flees to the basement.
They split up, Vincent in search of Dandrige and Charley to check out a noise. The noise they hear turns out to be Amy. Charley pulls the cross on her and she guilty him by saying he broke his promise to not let Dandrige get her. He comes over to her and she reveals Full Vamp Amy and attacks him. Vincent stakes Dandrige and Jerry's not too pleased about it. A fight commences and Vincent and Charley start knocking out the windows and the sunlight finishes Dandrige off, again with great effects. Amy's back to normal and everything ends well.
Our does it? A few nights later Charley and Amy are 'studying' in his room and watching Peter Vincent who is back on tv. But instead of vampires he's hosting sci-fi movies. He gives a shout-out to Charley on tv. As Charley is crossing the room he happens to look out of his window into the house next door and briefly sees a pair of red eyes that are gone a moment later.
THE END
Fright Night is just a really fun vampire movie with very little nudity (comparatively), and very little swearing. Which, in my opinion, if you watch a horror movie and get shocked by the language you're really watching the wrong genre. Sex, however, did not always need to be included but sometimes is at the most random spots.
Well, that's my recap for Tuesday. See you all on Friday for Pumpkin Head.
Hello everyone! Three more days until Halloween! Confetti! Fireworks! Candy!
When I first started the blog I really wanted to do one movie per day. Well, we can all see how well that turned out. I just have too little time to do it as much as I'd like to. So, I'm going to try out a schedule of every Tuesday, Friday, and Sunday. So let's see how that works out.
Today's movie is Fright Night. Not the 'reboot'. Seriously, who do they think they're kidding? It's a fancy term for a remake. I can't comment on how well it turned out because I haven't seen it yet, I'm just going by how they usually turn out. Total Recall? Robocop? But we're doing the 1985 version. I love this movie. It's just a really fun vampire movie. And pretty much a lot of the joy of vampires has been sucked (pardon the pun) out of the vampire genre as of late. Of course, most of the humor comes from Chris Sarandon as
SYNOPSIS:
Charley lives next door to a vampire but no one believes him. And the vampire knows it.
The Pickings:
We start off with Charley and his girlfriend Amy 'studying' which to most teenagers means sucking face. Which is what they're doing. Amy tries to distract him by pointing out that his favorite late night monster movie host is on, Peter Vincent. But no, it's not Elvira so Charley just wants to play kissy face. He keeps trying to cop a feel, she tells him no until she pushes him off. He gets mad and says that they've been going out "almost a year and all he ever hears is Charley stoop it!"
Gee, almost a year, huh? Damn, Charley, how have you made it this far?! Sorry, sarcasm overload. He apologizes and she says very meaningfully, "Let's get into bed".
They suck face some more but Charley gets distracted by two guys carrying a coffin across the yard. While Amy gets into bed he grabs his binoculars and decides to do a little pre-sex peeping.
This next part I thought was really cute. Amy takes her shirt off, looks down at herself and immediately covers herself with her shirt as she tells Charley that she's ready in a really nervous voice. It definitely seems like something a girl who's nervous about her body and her first time would do. On another note I like the fact that they look like real people. Charley's no stud muffin and Amy has a healthy looking body and is a little bit on the plain side. She has a really beautiful smile and would look a lot better if they hadn't given her a grandma hair style.
Back to the story, he's too busy watching the guys next door to notice he has a half naked girl on his bed. Idiot. He tells her about the men and the coffin and she scoffs a bit. I think I would have at least looked but whatever. He stays glued to the window so she gets pissed and goes storming out of his room, with her shirt still hanging open, I might add. He chases her down the stairs and she says "First you want to make love and then you don't!" It's so cute that they think teenagers actually say 'make love'.
Cut to Charley's mom sitting on the couch. Whoops! But it's ok because Charley's mom seems afflicted with the same hearing issues that plague characters on tv and movies. Namely, that a loud argument could be carrying on right next to them and nobody will hear anything. Charley keeps peeping out the window while Amy and his mom chat. Amy tries twice to say goodnight to him but he can't seem to stop looking out the oh-so-fascinating window and just blows her off. She storms out (again) and slams the door. His mom scolds him mildly for being rude (not quite the word I would have chosen but ok). He tells her about the new neighbors and their voices fade out a bit as a newscaster talks about a man being murdered that evening.
Not much happens the next day at school except that we learn Charley is failing trig and Amy is still pissed at him. We're also introduced to his friend 'Evil' Ed.
Charley arrives home from school to see a cab pulling up and a hot blond gets out. I'm not sure why but I always had the impression that she was an escort. The movie never says but we'll call her that. She asks if she's at the right address and of course not, she's going to the Vamp House.
Charley goes to his own escort-less home where he and his mother talk a little bit about the new neighbors. He wonders who they are and she says she doesn't know but she's heard that he had a live-in carpenter and with her luck he's probably gay. Um, ok? Live-in carpenter equals gay I guess. *shrug*
Charley says he's going upstairs to study and his mom is shocked. I am too when I see that he's actually studying rather than being Creeper Charley with his binoculars. As he's knocking off for the night he gets startled by a scream.
At a diner the next day Amy comes to make up with him. He apologizes and she says no, it was really her fault (WTF woman! He was being a jackass!). They make up and she starts to gush about how much she's missed him but he gets up in the middle of it to check out the tv which is telling about a dead body that was found mutilated and the picture is that of the woman he saw the day before. His friend Evil joins him to say that on the police scanner it said that she wasn't the only murder and that they were both found decapitated. Which soaked a debate at the house on why he would do this. A few of the suggestions were to hide the bite marks, easier disposal and to get rid of any DNA. Which sparked another debate on whether or not vampires leave DNA.
Anywho, Amy gets pissed and smashes a really nasty looking sloppy joe into his face. And, you guessed it, storms off.
Back in the 'burbs we see the may-be-gay Live-In Carpenter painting the windows black. He looks out to see Charley sneaking not-so-sneakily into the property and trying to open the door to the cellar. He surprises Charley and wants to knew what he's doing there. Charley says nothing and Live-In tells him to keep it that way. Charley rushes off to his own house. Ok, both the movie and the music are telling me to be suspicious but Charley was trespassing and if some kid just walked into my property and started going in my cellar I'd be a little pissy too.
That night Charley decides to put his Creeper skills to good use and spy on the neighbors. He dozes off (probably a junk food induced coma judging by all the wrappers on the floor). The porn music wakes him up in time to see the neighbor and a hot brunette getting sexy, right at the window. How convenient for Peeper Charley! Jerry's about to get his bite on when he notices Charley watching and pulls down the blinds. Charley notices that it's been a while since Jerry had a manicure.
Later that night Charley notices Live-In carrying a suspicious garbage bag. Jerry joins him, strong from the shadows just after the flapping of wind is heard. I get that it would be cool to be able to do that but why? It would have just been easier to walk down the stairs. From Charley's peeper bushes he sees Jerry toss a fancy purse to Live-In and tells him not to forget it. Charley's mom calls him from the porch and Jerry tosses the apple he's been snacking on next to Charley. My only theory on the whole apple thing is that he's part fruit bat.
Charley very gracefully and sneakily runs back to his house where he tries to tell his mom what he saw. She thinks he had a nightmare. He tells her that he thinks Jerry is a vampire and his mom is all "A WHAT?!"
Nice segue to Amy repeating the same thing. For some reason she thinks it's part of a plot to get her back. He gets annoyed and tells her he's going to the cops.
I'm sure this will go well.
Later, Charley follows the detective to Vamp House. Soooo cops bring witnesses with them? That doesn't seem like a good idea. They go in and the detective asks to see Jerry who, since it's daytime, is 'out'. The detective confronts Live-In with Charley's accusations about setting the girl there and Live-In says that she was but left sometime during the night. Charley says "Liar, liar, pants on fire, I saw you carry her out in a garbage bag."
Live-In says he did take out the garbage and offers to show it to the detective. He also asks Charley if he actually saw a body and Charley had to confess that he didn't. Live-In starts to show them out. Ok, first of all, the body question should have come from the detective and secondly, I always thought that it was the detective that ends the interview. Through most of this 'investigation' the chip is a spectator. Charley then tells them to check the cellar. The detective asks what he thinks they'll find down there. Live-In repeats his question with hilarious smugness and a goofy eyebrow wiggle. Charley obliges by putting his foot awesomely in it.
"You'll find Jerry Dandrige! Sleeping the sleep of the undead!"
Way to shoot yourself in the foot kid. The cop of course laughs at him and Live-In is a smarmy, hilarious ass about it, too. The cop leaves, followed closely by Charley. The detective threatens Charley that he'll throw him in jail if he ever comes to the station house again. Because that's a thing that's totally legit.
Live-In congress out on the balcony to give Charley a meaningful stare as he leaves. Charley realizes "Oh, shit!" and takes off for Evil's house for vampire blocking advice. Evil does it for eight bucks. He tells Charley about the usual stuff like garlic, holy water, stakes, and crosses. The slight twist on the cross thing is that you have to have faith for it to work which I've never heard before but it makes sense when you think about it. And if course you must never ever ever invite the vampire in.
Our next shot of Charley is him making his Windows down. He hears his mother calling him so goes downstairs in a pretty chipper mood which is promptly crushed when he sees who the visitor is...Jerry from next door! Surprise!
And I find it hilarious that they're drinking Bloody Marys. I wonder who chose that?
Mom introduces them and Charley looks freaked out. Mom's do thrilled to have such a beefcake in her living room that she's not picking up on the not-so-subtle creepiness between her son and Jerry. Jerry says now that he has permission he'll probably be stopping over quite often. Charley says he's not feeling well and bails. Jerry calls that he'll see him. Soon.
Late at night Charley's on Vamp Patrol and hears a noise downstairs. Armed with his trusty cross he goes to investigate. While he's down there Jerry enters the house through Mom's window. He kindly bypasses her but does jam her door so she can't interfere. He goes to Charley's room.
Charley finds nothing downstairs, not even a cat and goes back to his room where Jerry proceeds to throw him around like a rag doll. So much for not waking mom up. He tells Charley that he's going to give him something he doesn't have, a choice. He can leave Jerry alone or he can keep involving himself and get himself and his loved ones in a world of hurt. Or, you know, dead. He doesn't really give Charley much time to answer though. Charley tries to use the cross but I guess his faith skills are still too weak because it doesn't work. A pencil to the hand, however, does. Jerry full-on vamps before deciding to bail. Mom is banging on the door wanting to know what all the noise was and Charley tells her it was a nightmare. Because I always trash my room during nightmares. Then she decides to share some bizarre dream about being at a white sale (?) stark naked. They hear a crashing noise outside but Charley just says it's critters and tells her to go back to sleep. The phone rings and it's Guess Who! Jerry tells Charley that he just trashed Charley's car but that it's nothing compared to what he's going to do to Charley tomorrow night. After the call Charley's eyes are drawn to the tv where Peter Vincent is blathering on how he knows that vampires are real and how he's fought them in their many guises. Charley gets the insane idea that Peter Vincent is his salvation. Which makes absolutely no sense at all! I'm not going to call Arnold Schwarzenegger if I get mugged just because he played a cop once.
Charley, however, politely disagrees with me and thinks it's a fabulous idea.
The next day Charley
Amy and Evil arrive at Charley's house to see if he's ok. They go in to find Charley sharpening stakes and apparently he did a little candle shopping while waiting for Vincent. There are candles everywhere! Amy wants to know what's going on and Charley tells her that before sunset he's going to go over and put a stake in Jerry's heart. She points out that if he does that then he'll be a murderer. Charley's retort is that you can't murder a vampire because they're already dead. Fair enough. She also points out that if he gets killed by Jerry then who'll stop him. Evil goes along with her saying that Jerry will suck his way through the town "Not that it'd be much of a loss"
Amy also points out that it will be dark soon and that he wouldn't want to be there then. He agrees. She suggests trying to get Peter Vincent to help (what is with this! getting an actor who plays a vampire killer to help you is not a legit strategy!). Charley tells her that he tried Vincent already and got turned down. She says that she and Evil will try and makes him promise not to do anything until he hears from them again. He agrees. Much of this conversation has a "Let's humor the crazy person" tone to it but Amy does seem sincere about wanting to help him even though it's pretty clear she doesn't believe him.
Amy and Evil go to Vincent to try to get him to help. He says no at first, claiming to be busy with numerous movie contracts even though you can tell that he's lying it of his ass. Amy offers him $500 to help and that changes his mind. Evil suggests a plan to 'test' Jerry to prove to Charley that he's not a vampire. Vincent calls Jerry to make sure it's ok. He agrees but vetoes crosses because he's a born again Christian (not sure what that has to do with anything but ok) he also says holy water is a no-go for the same reason. Honestly, he might as well scream "I'm really a vampire!" Vincent tells him it will just be regular tap water.
Jerry's all happy that they're having dinner in tonight because they're all coming there.
Much later they all arrive at Jerry's and Charley's losing his shit. He freaks out about Vincent leaving his stakes in the car. Vincent says they have to have proof first but Charley's worried that once they prove it Dandrige will kill them all before Vincent can get his stakes but Vincent declares he is there to protect them because he's in full-on Peter Vincent, Vampire Killer mode.
They enter and Jerry makes a stunning entrance at the top of the stairs. He shakes hands with Peter Vincent and says he found his movies amusing. Then charms Evil by telling him they should get together and talk because they probably have a lot of the same interests, such as horror movies (lol). Actually, Evil reminds me a lot of myself in high school. Still not sure if that's good or bad.
Then he charms the undies off of Amy before joking about that being something vampires do and everyone laughs. Well, everyone except Charley. While Vincent and Jerry are talking Charley conveniently sees an open packing crate nearby and checks out a painting that looks a lot like Amy before joining the vampire-outing party. Charley just wants to get going on the vamp test and never mind the chit chat. His friends are all "Rude!" But Jerry says he's used to it from Charley because Charley sicced the cops on him earlier. Vincent gives him the un-holy holy water with many a significant look between Jerry and Vincent. Jerry checks it holding it by the fire. Not really sure what this tells him but ok, movie. Maybe holy water sparkles to a vampire. He downs it in one go and Charley freaks out, saying it's impossible and that it couldn't have been really blessed. Vincent gives him an incredibly bitchy "Are you calling me a liar?" speech which is funny because he is.
However, while Amy and Evil make chit chat before going Vincent checks his mirror and sees no reflection. It freaks him out and he drops the mirror then hustles everyone out. One outside Charley confronts Vincent, asking him what he saw. Vincent tells him about no reflection and gtfo's.
Inside, Jerry finds the broken piece of mirror and looks thoughtful.
The trio start walking and Charley insists on him and Evil walking Amy home first. Evil wants to take a short cut through a dark alley that I'd avoid even if there weren't vampires. Charley and Amy both vote no and Evil calls them pussies and they go their separate ways. A second or two later they hear a scream and find Evil viewing and covering his face. Charley starts giving him an "I told you the vampires would get you" but Psych! Evil was just messing with them. They get huffy and leave.
After they leave Evil starts getting chased down alleys by Dandrige. When Dandrige finally corners him he offers Evil a chance to join him and finally belong. Stephen Geiffreys acts the hell out of this scene. Without ever really saying anything. He does it all in looks with one tear going down his face and it is great.
Farther down the street Amy and Charley hear him scream. Amy thinks he's just messing with them again so they continue walking. They notice Dandrige behind them and try to hide from him in a club. Charley decides to call Peter Vincent for help and Amy confesses that she paid him to be there. That doesn't matter to Charley so he calls him anyway.
Cut to Vincent's house. Evil is banging on his doorclaiming a vampire is after him. Sucker that he is Vincent lets him right in and Evil reveals that he's now a vampire and tries to attack Vincent. It never says but I'm assuming Dandrige sent him there to take care of the Vincent loose end. Vincent pulls a cross on Evil and brands him on the head with it. Evil flees after telling Vincent that "The Master will kill you! Slowly, oh so sloooowly!"
Back to the club. Dandrige follows them in and hypnotizes Amy into dancing with him to bad '80s music. He also apparently changed his dorky grandma Christmas sweater that he was wearing at the house into a much sexier collar-bone baring sweater along the way.
They dance and Dandrige starts to leave with Amy. Charley and a bouncer try to stop him but Dandrige decides "Screw subtlety" and rips the dude's throat out with his claws.
My only problem with this scene (besides Dandrige deciding to screw being incognito) is that Dandrige is walking away with Amy, she's following him willingly. Charley comes up and says "Let her go!" and the bouncer decides to go after Dandrige. How does he know that Dandrige isn't her boyfriend and he just let Amy's stalker escape with her?
Not that it matters because Dandrige gets her back and he, Live-In, and Evil all take off with her in a truck.
Charley goes to beg for Vincent's help and find him packing to leave. Charley begs for help and tells him that they have Amy. Vincent is troubled by this but his great plan is to call the cops. Because that worked so well the first time. Charley tells him that it's up to them alone.Vincent confesses that he was paid to be there today and that he's afraid. Charley says, "But you're Peter Vincent! The great Vampire Killer!" To which Vincent rightfully replies "That is a character in a movie!" Which is what I've been saying this whole time. He tries to get him to help but Vincent's too afraid.
Meanwhile at the Vamp House Amy is all dressed up. Jerry enters shirtless and we have a nice little seduction and chomp!
Arriving at the Vamp House Charley meets up with Vincent in full Peter Vincent, Vampire Killer mode. The front door opens for them and they enter. Jerry's waiting for them looking sublimely smug. Vincent tries to cross him but it doesn't work because of too little faith. Which I didn't get exactly because Vincent uses it on Evil just fine. But, maybe he was less sure of himself because he knew Dandrige was far older, more powerful and far more intelligent than Evil.
Fortunately, Charley had faith to spare do he crosses Dandrige which makes him back up. But charley gets a little too cocky and turns to talk to Vincent. Live-In pops up to jack Charley across the head, knocking him out. Vincent flees in terror.
Vincent runs next door, calling for Charley's mom. When he tries to make a phone call he realizes that the phone cord has been cut (ah, cell phones, how you've changed things) he rushes upstairs and is momentarily relieved by seeing a person lying in the bed. Unfortunately, it is Evil Ed wearing a red mop? on his head. He says that Mrs. Brewster isn't there. Then he sticks his tongue out at Vincent. Evil is so funny here. I hate what happens next. And yes, younger me had a bit of a crush on him. Even as a grody-toothed vampire.
Vincent stumbles out of the room and down the stairs. Evil, as a wolf, comes out of the bedroom to attack Vincent and finish him off. The wolf with the red eyes is majorly cool looking. He lines at Vincent and Vincent defends himself with a broken piece of wood. He must be taking tips from Buffy's 'anything can be a stake' handbook.
What follows is a very well done effects job of a wolf devolving back into a human. And again, Stephen Geoffrey and Roddy McDowell acts the fuck out of it.
Back at Vamp House Dandrige is carrying Charley upstairs and roses him on the bed next to a shivering, sweaty, unconscious Amy. He throws Charley a stake and tells him that he's gonna need it. Charley turns Amy over and realizes that she's been vamped. Dandrige hears him scream and smiles happily to himself.
Vincent sneaks back over and tries to break the door down to the room in which Amy and he ate being held captive. Dandrige realizes that Vincent is back. Charley asks if they can save Amy and Vincent tells him that if they kill Dandrige before dawn then that should work.
They try to leave and are confronted by Dandrige's ghoul or whatever the fuck he is. They shoot him. And this makes very little sense. The 'ghoul' or whatever, bleeds red from the forehead when shot. When they finally kill him he starts to disintegrate in puddles of embalming fluid and sand. So, he has real blood in his head but embalming fluid everywhere else? I just don't get this. He also can walk around in the daytime so he's not a vampire but the gun doesn't work and they kill him with a stake to the chest, like a vampire. I honestly don't know.
They check on Amy who is vamping out more. Her hair had also gotten remarkably longer. They go in search of Dandrige who is flapping around outside. He commands Amy to arise and kill them. They lock her in the room and hunt for Dandrige some more. He jumps through the window (destroying a beautiful stained glass window) and starts to come after them until Vincent finds where he left his faith and pulls the cross on him. All the clocks start going off, letting Dandrige knew that sunrise is approaching. Even though you can see it behind him I guess it doesn't bother him? He turns into a skinless bat puppet and attacks Vincent. They drag him into the sun and he flees to the basement.
They split up, Vincent in search of Dandrige and Charley to check out a noise. The noise they hear turns out to be Amy. Charley pulls the cross on her and she guilty him by saying he broke his promise to not let Dandrige get her. He comes over to her and she reveals Full Vamp Amy and attacks him. Vincent stakes Dandrige and Jerry's not too pleased about it. A fight commences and Vincent and Charley start knocking out the windows and the sunlight finishes Dandrige off, again with great effects. Amy's back to normal and everything ends well.
Our does it? A few nights later Charley and Amy are 'studying' in his room and watching Peter Vincent who is back on tv. But instead of vampires he's hosting sci-fi movies. He gives a shout-out to Charley on tv. As Charley is crossing the room he happens to look out of his window into the house next door and briefly sees a pair of red eyes that are gone a moment later.
THE END
Fright Night is just a really fun vampire movie with very little nudity (comparatively), and very little swearing. Which, in my opinion, if you watch a horror movie and get shocked by the language you're really watching the wrong genre. Sex, however, did not always need to be included but sometimes is at the most random spots.
Well, that's my recap for Tuesday. See you all on Friday for Pumpkin Head.
Thursday, October 22, 2015
GONE HOME
(PC Game)
Gone Home is a PC game released in August 2013 published and developed by The Fullbright Company. The trailer looked pretty awesome to me.
For reference here's a link to the trailer on Youtube:
This is their Promotional Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DMDaMK-9Tzc
This is the Launch Trailer (posted by The Fullbright Company): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x5KJzLsyfBI
First, note the difference between the two. Now, note how creepy and scary the promotional trailer looks. It looks like it'd be a nice, scary game to play on a dark night doesn't it?
You could not be more wrong. This is one of the worst cases of bait & switch I have ever seen. Yes, I know that sometimes game developers make promises with their games that they can't always keep but this is different. This is promising you one game and giving you another.
And, what's worse, it is overpriced. It took me 3-4 hours to complete it with a slow-ass computer. If it had been running properly it would only have been 2. If I had straight-up followed the story of it, maybe a half an hour. And all of this for $19.99. Luckily, I got it on Steam when it was on sale for $2.99 because if I had paid full price for this I probably would be a goo-pile of Luna because I would have exploded.
Let me give you the 'story' (and spoiler warning):
The game starts out with your (Katie) phone call home to tell your parents that you'll be arriving home a day earlier than planned. You mention that you're excited to see the new place since they moved after you went abroad.
Arriving home in a thunderstorm you find the door ajar and a note on it from your sister, Samantha (Sam). The note tells you that she can't be there and not to come looking for her because she doesn't want anyone to know where she has gone. Intriguing.
You go in to find the house completely deserted. No mom and dad either. Hm.
You can literally interact with nearly everything in the house which is cool. For like a minute. Until it just gets annoying when you're trying to figure out what you actually need and what you can just play with. I do applaud it though because maybe a better game creator can actually do something with all of this interactivity. Yeah, that inventory we were shown? Nope, you don't get one. Sorry.
Continuing on with the story:
You get the story by picking up letters, memos, tapes and such. Mostly from and about your sister Sam but also about the two other characters, mom and dad. I'll get their story out of the way first because theirs is the shortest. Dad is an author whose first three books about a time-traveling hero did pretty well for a time but now are not. So he's 'reduced' to writing technology reviews on such nifty things like laserdiscs (the story is set in 1995) and it appears he gets to keep what he reviews which isn't too shabby to me. Anyway, he's not very good at it because he gets too detailed about it. He seems to be pretty depressed about it judging from notes to himself and a lot of booze lying about. Some of his depression may stem from living in the house itself. The house was a legacy left to him by his great-uncle. There are hints at "something" having happened. More on that later. Nearing the end of the game things are looking up for him though because he's got an offer from a small publishing house to re-issue his books and his wife is encouraging him not to give up on the manuscript that he's been working on.
Mom is a Forest Ranger who has been tasked with a large controlled burn and has a new colleague to help her with it. This colleague and her start getting friendly and, from some notes to and from an old school friend, they seem to be getting a little flirty. Ranger Rick invites her to see a band at a local club (or something similar) so Mom's all jazzed about the possibility but her friend warns that she may be reading too much into it. In your parent's room you find some condoms hidden in Mom's drawer (EW) and the clothes are all tossed around. Could there have been a fight? Mom also gets an offer to be promoted because of her outstanding Rangering abilities. You kind of get the impression that she's holding off because she has a crush on her co-worker. And that's about it for Mom's story. There's no affair because Ranger Rick was engaged and just saw her as a friend. You find his wedding invitation to Mom on the fridge with the 'Not Attending' box pretty aggressively marked and also aggressively written on the calendar. When you find the calendar you realize that Mom and Dad have gone off on a couple's retreat to try to mend their marriage. Whew! Thought that might get interesting there for a minute! Glad the makers avoided that!
So, that wraps up Mom and Dad. They're not home because of the retreat and are due to be home the day you originally were scheduled to be.
Now for Sam. Sam is pretty much the main character. Mom and Dad's story we find out strictly through notes but Sam's we get through tapes and all of her notes to Katie are narrated by voice-over. And I should warn you right off the bat that I don't like her. I'll try to be unbiased but can't promise anything. I loathe this girl that much.
We start her story with her talking about her first day of school and how nobody is talking to her. She eventually finds out that the house she lives in is known around town as 'The Psycho House'. Which sounds interesting at first but it's just because when their great-uncle lived there he locked himself in and became a recluse. No mass murder or anything cool like that. Sorry.
Sam is having a hard time fitting in but notices a girl named Lonnie who she sees sometimes in a military looking uniform. Finally Lonnie approaches her and asks if they can hang out because she's always wanted to see 'The Psycho House'. So, she comes over and her and Sam play Nintendo and hang out. You get evidence in Sam's room that she is interested in girls and also that she and Lonnie have been shoplifting together. Lonnie invites Sam to a concert in the city. Her parents say no and Sam informs them that she is 17 and can go anywhere she pleases in her car. That her parents probably gave her because she has a job at The Chicken Shack (or something like that).
So, she goes and her and Lonnie kisses her and Sam realizes that she likes it a lot. Lonnie comes over the next day feeling embarrassed and guilty and afraid that Sam won't want to be friends anymore but Sam quickly assures her that she is fine with it and that she cares for Lonnie too.
They are soon spending every minute together but Sam is also getting in trouble at school for passing out Grrrl Power fliers and comic books that she and Lonnie have made. Lonnie also gets in a fight because someone scrawled graffiti on Sam's locker alluding to the girls' relationship. Her grades are also dropping.
Lonnie tells Sam that she will be leaving for the Army right after graduation and Sam is crushed. Lonnie says she's dreamed of being in the Army since the age of 12 and that's why she's part of the ROTC program (hence the uniform). Sam is a bit heartbroken by it and wonders what they should do. Lonnie suggests they just have fun and enjoy being with each other and try not to think about it too much.
Sam's parents also find out about her real relationship with Lonnie and try to tell her it's just a "phase" and that she'll grow out of it. They don't forbid her from seeing Lonnie however but they do tell her that they can't have the door shut while Lonnie's over and they're alone (which, to me, is pretty fair).
Lonnie and Sam have been ghost-hunting all over the house trying to make contact with Oscar (the great-uncle) but it's just for fun. Sam also gets accepted into a creative writing course with a full scholarship because she's such a good writer.
Lonnie has also started singing in a local band and on their last night together she dedicates a song to Sam who loses her shit completely and starts crying and saying how she can't live without Lonnie and basically drama-ing all over the place. With her parents at the retreat Lonnie and Sam spend their last night together at Sam's house (it's also implied, to me anyway, that it is also their 'first time' together).
When Sam awakes she's all alone. Lonnie tries to call the house but misses Sam both times. The third time Sam answers it at the last minute and Lonnie tells her that she couldn't go through with it and got off the bus and wants Sam to get all the money she can together and come pick her up. "And just...drive".
THE END
There is also a sub-sub-plot about Dad's Uncle Oscar. When Dad was 12 Oscar did "something". Something bad enough to be ostracized by his family and which led him to lock himself away in his house forever which led to it being called 'The Psycho House'. I have a feeling that it's either supposed to be that he was a drug addict or that he molested Dad. Or both. You find a letter to his sister asking for her forgiveness and telling her that if she can't forgive him then he will never again step foot outside. You find this in a safe that contains syringes from a pharmacy and that contains opioids and in the room is a growth chart of Dad that stops at 12. So, draw your own conclusions because this is never explained fully.
No ghosts, no creepiness. It's a coming-of-age story, basically. It's basically an interactive book. Which is really funny to me that it gets so much praise for this when I remember a while ago certain games (*cough*Fatal Frame 2: Crimson Butterfly*cough*) got a lot of flack because a bit of the story was told through notebook and diary entries. Funny, huh?
What I hate the most (besides a lot of other things that I'll get to in a bit) is that this is presented as a 'happy' ending. Let me sum up the 'happy' ending: Sam ditches her creative writing course that is a full scholarship (and her dream). Lonnie ditches basic training, which is also her dream. Sam steals every piece of electronic equipment from the house (VCR's, Nintendo, the LaserDisc her Dad was reviewing) and maybe the car as well if it's in her parent's name, which it probably is because she's only 17. To just drive until they're basically out of money. Which will probably be in less than a week.
Overflowing with joy and happiness yet?
You can accuse me of trying to overthink it but for a game that apparently prides itself on 'realism' that is the realest outcome to these events. Besides the fact that they'll have to get some crappy job or come crawling home where I'm sure Sam's parents will be oh so thrilled about her stealing and pawning their stuff. I don't know much about the Army or how it works but I would assume there would be some kind of consequence to Lonnie bailing like that. I don't think it would be that she's A.W.O.L. because she hasn't even reached Basic Training yet but if she tried to rejoin I would think that she either wouldn't be able to or that there would be a waiting period of some sort. Like I said, I'm not really sure so if anyone out there knows and can correct me, please do. Also, Lonnie's deciding on this spur-of-the-moment doesn't really go with her character as it's presented. She consistently seems more mature than Sam (at times I forget that Sam is supposed to be 17 because half the time she sounds like she's 13) and more laid back.
I have a hunch that part of the wave of good reviews has something to do with the lesbian love angle. Hear me out. I have no problem with it. And if Lonnie were the main character I would be so much happier because Lonnie is just way cooler and laid back than Drama Sam. When she comes over to Sam's all embarrassed I just want to hug her. At least until the end when she basically decides to ditch her entire future. For Sam.
Anyway, the story is a little frustrating because there are no real obstacles. And the sexual orientation simply does not matter. Because this story would play out the exact same way no matter the gender. Swap it around any way you like: boy/boy, girl/girl, girl/boy. The story does not change. Maybe that was done purposely but to me, if you're going to go that way with the storyline, make it mean something. Have something to say about it, make it matter. Because, in the reality of the story, Sam and Lonnie's big 'obstacle' is their separation. Which is lame. Even the writers trying to make the parents sound like assholes by calling it a "phase" fails because they don't forbid Lonnie and Sam from seeing each other. The only steps they take are reasonable and would be applicable to a boy as well (such as making them leave their door open). I would do the same thing. I'll give my kid privacy and not snoop on them when they're alone but they're sure as hell not going to be having sex upstairs while I'm drinking my coffee. The only two major differences that would happen are the graffiti would probably be more slutshamey instead of orientation shaming. And Sam would be reading Playgirl instead of Playboy. Wow.
And the number one thing to piss me off: This is not the game we were sold. The previews definitely made it look like a horror/haunted house exploration but this is not it. I know I keep harping on that but this is false advertising. And if I had paid $20.00 thinking I was getting one game when I got bait & switched for another I would have demanded a refund. I also am not sure how they got away with using things that are flat-out copyright infringements to sell their own game but they did. Maybe that's why the change to the Launch Trailer because there are two things ripped off from the book and movie of The Shining and one thing ripped off from The Shining movie (Kubrick, 1980).
Ok, on to the game itself.
The graphics are nice, it's easy to interact with stuff. Well, presumably. My computer was really laggy so it would be hard occasionally to focus on stuff but that is my issue, not theirs. The voice acting was great. So my Sam dislike doesn't stem from how she was played. The ambient music was good and creepy. Too bad it and the thunderstorm went to a whole other game. The other music, however, is a different matter. During the game you find several tapes of music. Some are from a band that Lonnie and Sam both like and the other is from the band Lonnie sings for. Funnily enough, both singers sound the same. And, funnily enough again, they suck. The singing is terrible and if these songs make up the soundtrack that Steam is selling with the game then I actively encourage people to avoid it at all hazards.
So, there's my two cents for all it's worth. If you must play it for yourself then I encourage you to wait until it's on sale. Trust me. You'll be angry if you pay full price for agame story that's only an hour long.
Until next time!
(PC Game)
Gone Home is a PC game released in August 2013 published and developed by The Fullbright Company. The trailer looked pretty awesome to me.
For reference here's a link to the trailer on Youtube:
This is their Promotional Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DMDaMK-9Tzc
This is the Launch Trailer (posted by The Fullbright Company): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x5KJzLsyfBI
First, note the difference between the two. Now, note how creepy and scary the promotional trailer looks. It looks like it'd be a nice, scary game to play on a dark night doesn't it?
You could not be more wrong. This is one of the worst cases of bait & switch I have ever seen. Yes, I know that sometimes game developers make promises with their games that they can't always keep but this is different. This is promising you one game and giving you another.
And, what's worse, it is overpriced. It took me 3-4 hours to complete it with a slow-ass computer. If it had been running properly it would only have been 2. If I had straight-up followed the story of it, maybe a half an hour. And all of this for $19.99. Luckily, I got it on Steam when it was on sale for $2.99 because if I had paid full price for this I probably would be a goo-pile of Luna because I would have exploded.
Let me give you the 'story' (and spoiler warning):
The game starts out with your (Katie) phone call home to tell your parents that you'll be arriving home a day earlier than planned. You mention that you're excited to see the new place since they moved after you went abroad.
Arriving home in a thunderstorm you find the door ajar and a note on it from your sister, Samantha (Sam). The note tells you that she can't be there and not to come looking for her because she doesn't want anyone to know where she has gone. Intriguing.
You go in to find the house completely deserted. No mom and dad either. Hm.
You can literally interact with nearly everything in the house which is cool. For like a minute. Until it just gets annoying when you're trying to figure out what you actually need and what you can just play with. I do applaud it though because maybe a better game creator can actually do something with all of this interactivity. Yeah, that inventory we were shown? Nope, you don't get one. Sorry.
Continuing on with the story:
You get the story by picking up letters, memos, tapes and such. Mostly from and about your sister Sam but also about the two other characters, mom and dad. I'll get their story out of the way first because theirs is the shortest. Dad is an author whose first three books about a time-traveling hero did pretty well for a time but now are not. So he's 'reduced' to writing technology reviews on such nifty things like laserdiscs (the story is set in 1995) and it appears he gets to keep what he reviews which isn't too shabby to me. Anyway, he's not very good at it because he gets too detailed about it. He seems to be pretty depressed about it judging from notes to himself and a lot of booze lying about. Some of his depression may stem from living in the house itself. The house was a legacy left to him by his great-uncle. There are hints at "something" having happened. More on that later. Nearing the end of the game things are looking up for him though because he's got an offer from a small publishing house to re-issue his books and his wife is encouraging him not to give up on the manuscript that he's been working on.
Mom is a Forest Ranger who has been tasked with a large controlled burn and has a new colleague to help her with it. This colleague and her start getting friendly and, from some notes to and from an old school friend, they seem to be getting a little flirty. Ranger Rick invites her to see a band at a local club (or something similar) so Mom's all jazzed about the possibility but her friend warns that she may be reading too much into it. In your parent's room you find some condoms hidden in Mom's drawer (EW) and the clothes are all tossed around. Could there have been a fight? Mom also gets an offer to be promoted because of her outstanding Rangering abilities. You kind of get the impression that she's holding off because she has a crush on her co-worker. And that's about it for Mom's story. There's no affair because Ranger Rick was engaged and just saw her as a friend. You find his wedding invitation to Mom on the fridge with the 'Not Attending' box pretty aggressively marked and also aggressively written on the calendar. When you find the calendar you realize that Mom and Dad have gone off on a couple's retreat to try to mend their marriage. Whew! Thought that might get interesting there for a minute! Glad the makers avoided that!
So, that wraps up Mom and Dad. They're not home because of the retreat and are due to be home the day you originally were scheduled to be.
Now for Sam. Sam is pretty much the main character. Mom and Dad's story we find out strictly through notes but Sam's we get through tapes and all of her notes to Katie are narrated by voice-over. And I should warn you right off the bat that I don't like her. I'll try to be unbiased but can't promise anything. I loathe this girl that much.
We start her story with her talking about her first day of school and how nobody is talking to her. She eventually finds out that the house she lives in is known around town as 'The Psycho House'. Which sounds interesting at first but it's just because when their great-uncle lived there he locked himself in and became a recluse. No mass murder or anything cool like that. Sorry.
Sam is having a hard time fitting in but notices a girl named Lonnie who she sees sometimes in a military looking uniform. Finally Lonnie approaches her and asks if they can hang out because she's always wanted to see 'The Psycho House'. So, she comes over and her and Sam play Nintendo and hang out. You get evidence in Sam's room that she is interested in girls and also that she and Lonnie have been shoplifting together. Lonnie invites Sam to a concert in the city. Her parents say no and Sam informs them that she is 17 and can go anywhere she pleases in her car. That her parents probably gave her because she has a job at The Chicken Shack (or something like that).
So, she goes and her and Lonnie kisses her and Sam realizes that she likes it a lot. Lonnie comes over the next day feeling embarrassed and guilty and afraid that Sam won't want to be friends anymore but Sam quickly assures her that she is fine with it and that she cares for Lonnie too.
They are soon spending every minute together but Sam is also getting in trouble at school for passing out Grrrl Power fliers and comic books that she and Lonnie have made. Lonnie also gets in a fight because someone scrawled graffiti on Sam's locker alluding to the girls' relationship. Her grades are also dropping.
Lonnie tells Sam that she will be leaving for the Army right after graduation and Sam is crushed. Lonnie says she's dreamed of being in the Army since the age of 12 and that's why she's part of the ROTC program (hence the uniform). Sam is a bit heartbroken by it and wonders what they should do. Lonnie suggests they just have fun and enjoy being with each other and try not to think about it too much.
Sam's parents also find out about her real relationship with Lonnie and try to tell her it's just a "phase" and that she'll grow out of it. They don't forbid her from seeing Lonnie however but they do tell her that they can't have the door shut while Lonnie's over and they're alone (which, to me, is pretty fair).
Lonnie and Sam have been ghost-hunting all over the house trying to make contact with Oscar (the great-uncle) but it's just for fun. Sam also gets accepted into a creative writing course with a full scholarship because she's such a good writer.
Lonnie has also started singing in a local band and on their last night together she dedicates a song to Sam who loses her shit completely and starts crying and saying how she can't live without Lonnie and basically drama-ing all over the place. With her parents at the retreat Lonnie and Sam spend their last night together at Sam's house (it's also implied, to me anyway, that it is also their 'first time' together).
When Sam awakes she's all alone. Lonnie tries to call the house but misses Sam both times. The third time Sam answers it at the last minute and Lonnie tells her that she couldn't go through with it and got off the bus and wants Sam to get all the money she can together and come pick her up. "And just...drive".
THE END
There is also a sub-sub-plot about Dad's Uncle Oscar. When Dad was 12 Oscar did "something". Something bad enough to be ostracized by his family and which led him to lock himself away in his house forever which led to it being called 'The Psycho House'. I have a feeling that it's either supposed to be that he was a drug addict or that he molested Dad. Or both. You find a letter to his sister asking for her forgiveness and telling her that if she can't forgive him then he will never again step foot outside. You find this in a safe that contains syringes from a pharmacy and that contains opioids and in the room is a growth chart of Dad that stops at 12. So, draw your own conclusions because this is never explained fully.
No ghosts, no creepiness. It's a coming-of-age story, basically. It's basically an interactive book. Which is really funny to me that it gets so much praise for this when I remember a while ago certain games (*cough*Fatal Frame 2: Crimson Butterfly*cough*) got a lot of flack because a bit of the story was told through notebook and diary entries. Funny, huh?
What I hate the most (besides a lot of other things that I'll get to in a bit) is that this is presented as a 'happy' ending. Let me sum up the 'happy' ending: Sam ditches her creative writing course that is a full scholarship (and her dream). Lonnie ditches basic training, which is also her dream. Sam steals every piece of electronic equipment from the house (VCR's, Nintendo, the LaserDisc her Dad was reviewing) and maybe the car as well if it's in her parent's name, which it probably is because she's only 17. To just drive until they're basically out of money. Which will probably be in less than a week.
Overflowing with joy and happiness yet?
You can accuse me of trying to overthink it but for a game that apparently prides itself on 'realism' that is the realest outcome to these events. Besides the fact that they'll have to get some crappy job or come crawling home where I'm sure Sam's parents will be oh so thrilled about her stealing and pawning their stuff. I don't know much about the Army or how it works but I would assume there would be some kind of consequence to Lonnie bailing like that. I don't think it would be that she's A.W.O.L. because she hasn't even reached Basic Training yet but if she tried to rejoin I would think that she either wouldn't be able to or that there would be a waiting period of some sort. Like I said, I'm not really sure so if anyone out there knows and can correct me, please do. Also, Lonnie's deciding on this spur-of-the-moment doesn't really go with her character as it's presented. She consistently seems more mature than Sam (at times I forget that Sam is supposed to be 17 because half the time she sounds like she's 13) and more laid back.
I have a hunch that part of the wave of good reviews has something to do with the lesbian love angle. Hear me out. I have no problem with it. And if Lonnie were the main character I would be so much happier because Lonnie is just way cooler and laid back than Drama Sam. When she comes over to Sam's all embarrassed I just want to hug her. At least until the end when she basically decides to ditch her entire future. For Sam.
Anyway, the story is a little frustrating because there are no real obstacles. And the sexual orientation simply does not matter. Because this story would play out the exact same way no matter the gender. Swap it around any way you like: boy/boy, girl/girl, girl/boy. The story does not change. Maybe that was done purposely but to me, if you're going to go that way with the storyline, make it mean something. Have something to say about it, make it matter. Because, in the reality of the story, Sam and Lonnie's big 'obstacle' is their separation. Which is lame. Even the writers trying to make the parents sound like assholes by calling it a "phase" fails because they don't forbid Lonnie and Sam from seeing each other. The only steps they take are reasonable and would be applicable to a boy as well (such as making them leave their door open). I would do the same thing. I'll give my kid privacy and not snoop on them when they're alone but they're sure as hell not going to be having sex upstairs while I'm drinking my coffee. The only two major differences that would happen are the graffiti would probably be more slutshamey instead of orientation shaming. And Sam would be reading Playgirl instead of Playboy. Wow.
And the number one thing to piss me off: This is not the game we were sold. The previews definitely made it look like a horror/haunted house exploration but this is not it. I know I keep harping on that but this is false advertising. And if I had paid $20.00 thinking I was getting one game when I got bait & switched for another I would have demanded a refund. I also am not sure how they got away with using things that are flat-out copyright infringements to sell their own game but they did. Maybe that's why the change to the Launch Trailer because there are two things ripped off from the book and movie of The Shining and one thing ripped off from The Shining movie (Kubrick, 1980).
Ok, on to the game itself.
The graphics are nice, it's easy to interact with stuff. Well, presumably. My computer was really laggy so it would be hard occasionally to focus on stuff but that is my issue, not theirs. The voice acting was great. So my Sam dislike doesn't stem from how she was played. The ambient music was good and creepy. Too bad it and the thunderstorm went to a whole other game. The other music, however, is a different matter. During the game you find several tapes of music. Some are from a band that Lonnie and Sam both like and the other is from the band Lonnie sings for. Funnily enough, both singers sound the same. And, funnily enough again, they suck. The singing is terrible and if these songs make up the soundtrack that Steam is selling with the game then I actively encourage people to avoid it at all hazards.
So, there's my two cents for all it's worth. If you must play it for yourself then I encourage you to wait until it's on sale. Trust me. You'll be angry if you pay full price for a
Until next time!
Saturday, October 17, 2015
SILVER BULLET Pt. 2
Well, well, well. I'm actually finishing this when I said I would. I'm so proud...
Picking up where we left off the hunt for the Tarker's Mill Mauler is over leaving three casualties in its wake. We go now to a hazy funeral scene where the reverend is presiding over a triple funeral for the deceased. However, we quickly realize that something's...off.
The congregation starts wolfing out (with some pretty good effects I might add). Including a werewolf going all full tilt boogie on the piano which for some reason cracks me up no end but I don't know why. I'm easily amused.
And who do we have waking up doing in sweat from this horrible werewolf dream? None other than the Reverend Lowe!
Welp, guess we know who the werewolf is now, don't we? Which brings me back to him pleading with the Werewolf Hunters not to go. My mom thinks it's because the good werewolf reverend didn't want them to kill him. I say it's because he desperately doors not want to kill them. And I'm going with that because, please, like a werewolf has anything to worry about from them.
After the dream at the church we find out that some festival has been cancelled because of the killings which Marty is extraordinarily bummed out about. Which is a little fucked up to me since his best friend just got brutally mauled. That's ok, but no fireworks? Aw, hell no!
So then we cut to a family picnic at the Coslaw's. Uncle Red and Marty are hanging out by the garage and Uncle Red is working on something mysterious for Marty. Marty is bitching about how all these killings have chased away his girlfriend, killed his best friend and now it's cancelled the fireworks. Uncle Red asks where everyone is. I only mention that because it leads to one of the best lines EVER in movies. Marty says:
"Jane's walking around in all these new clothes showing off her tits, acting like nobody ever had tits before her."
LOL
So, Uncle Red's big surprise is a new motorized wheelchair that's pretty awesome looking and goes fast. Before he leaves he also gives Marty a bunch of fireworks to show that "the bad guys can't win". More of a morale thing I guess.
Marty sneaks out later that night by shimmying down the drain pipe (told you he could climb that tree to stop Brady just fine). So Mr. Can't Climb a Tree takes out his new ride for a spin to the bridge to play with his new fireworks all by himself. Jeez, he could have at least invited Jane. Doing fireworks by yourself is just boring.
Then we get werewolf P.o.V again stalking Marty out all by his lonesome. I guess the fact that he could end up werewolf chow just as easily as Brady never crossed his mind. The werewolf is about to spring when Marty shoots a bottle rocket (from his hand! Not recommended) and gets the werewolf in the eye. The werewolf runs off in pain and Marty races home to cower in a corner.
The next day he tells Jane what happened and asks her to keep an eye out (see what I did there?) for anyone who looks injured or is wearing a bandage on his/her eye. Jane agrees and as she's collecting empty cans for the can drive at church she's keeping her eye out (I'm done, I promise) the whole time. And amazingly she seems to run into everyone to check out their eye situation. She doesn't find anyone and thinks Marty was playing a joke on her. Until...
She stops by the Reverend Werewolf's house to drop off the cans. We see he has only one eye but she doesn't, yet.
She gets freaked out by a mouse and falls butt first into the pile of cans (she trips more than a certain pasty faced brunette) where she finds a bat belonging to one of the Werewolf Hunters and gets even more freaked out. The Reverend Werewolf surprises her and...uh-oh...she sees that he's wearing an eyepatch. Gulp!
Shortly after that they send Reverend Werewolf little ransom/stalker notes suggesting nice friendly things like he should kill himself and whatnot.
Coming home from school one day the Reverend tries to ram him off the road with his car. By some very fortuitous things Marty manages to escape him until he strands himself in a dead end covered bridge. Out of gas and face to face with the werewolf. Yikes!
The werewolf gives a villain monologue about how he saved SillyStella's soul by killing her before she committed suicide and damned herself to Hell. He also says that he can't commit suicide because of their religion. Which brings us to another great line: "Do you see! You meddling little shit!" Giggle.
Some dude on a tractor arrives just in time to keep himself from getting chucked off a bridge and Reverend Wolfie takes off.
I have to question a few things about this scene. Reverend Wolfie says he killed SillyStella to save her soul. It's messed up but ok, I'll buy it. But what about everyone else? The Hunters I guess he could write off as self-defense but what about the other two guys and Brady? Somehow he manages to forget about all the people he killed that were perfectly happy living their lives. I did get a strong pedo vibe off of Tammy's dad so maybe he deserved it. But Brady was just hanging out with his kite. Wrong place wrong time I guess. Also, I am going to call major bullshit on tractor guy even hearing him through a wooden barrier AND over the tractor. If the movie was playing by real life Marty would have been over the side of that bridge in no time.
After Marty's run-in with the Reverend the kids decide that they need an adult's help with the whole werewolf thing but figure that the police won't believe them so they call Uncle Red. Let's just say he's not thrilled with what they've been doing. At first he doesn't believe them but then he notices scrapes on Marty's chair that matches the color of Reverend Wolfie's car. Although I always thought the scrapes were a little far down on the chair to be from a car but whatever.
So Red goes to the sheriff and yells him the whole story. The sheriff asks if he believes it and all Uncle Red will hazard is that he believes the Reverend ought to be checked out. Sheriff Haller is convinced and goes to check out the weekend's house. At night. Alone. This is going to end well, I can tell.
Werewolf- 8
After the sheriff goes missing the kids hand over their medallions to Uncle Red to make a silver bullet. He, of course, knows a weapons maker, a "wizard of weaponry" and an Old World Craftsman. Which of course less to another great exchange:
Uncle Red: Shoot, it's just a gag. I mean what would you use a silver bullet for?"
Craftsman: "How about a werewolf?"
Not even joking. He is dead serious.
Marty thinks that the Reverend Wolfie is going to wait until the next full moon so there will be no man left. Just the wolf. Apparently he forgot that the man side of the werewolf was going to chuck him off the bridge.
The next full moon rolls around and Uncle Red says that he won a trip for two to New York and wants to give it to Marty's mom and dad while he watches the kids. They're all excited and the uncle who was barely good enough to hang out with her kid while she was present is now good enough to watch them the whole weekend. As it turns out Red didn't win a trip. He set the whole thing up so that he could be there with the kids during the full moon. Awww.
So they're waiting for the wolf and everyone's dozing off. Red gets irritated and decides to send the kids to bed while he sits up the rest of the night. He takes the bullet out of the gun (!!) and of course that's when shit gets real.
The werewolf breaks in, the bullet goes flying and as the werewolf starts tossing Uncle Red about a bit and playing with Jane's head (fortunately still attached to her body) it's up to Marty to find the bullet and save the day.
Aaaand that's the end folks.
A few last thoughts though. It never days how he became a werewolf. Which isn't really important to the story but I'm curious. Also, I think a line saying that the Reverend was new in town might have been nice because it seems like he was always there but never killed anyone before? That seems unlikely. Oh well.
So, as always any comments are appreciated. Any movies you'd like me to do, anything I can improve? Just let me know! Hopefully, the next movie will be Warlock starring Julian Sands.
Well, well, well. I'm actually finishing this when I said I would. I'm so proud...
Picking up where we left off the hunt for the Tarker's Mill Mauler is over leaving three casualties in its wake. We go now to a hazy funeral scene where the reverend is presiding over a triple funeral for the deceased. However, we quickly realize that something's...off.
The congregation starts wolfing out (with some pretty good effects I might add). Including a werewolf going all full tilt boogie on the piano which for some reason cracks me up no end but I don't know why. I'm easily amused.
And who do we have waking up doing in sweat from this horrible werewolf dream? None other than the Reverend Lowe!
Welp, guess we know who the werewolf is now, don't we? Which brings me back to him pleading with the Werewolf Hunters not to go. My mom thinks it's because the good werewolf reverend didn't want them to kill him. I say it's because he desperately doors not want to kill them. And I'm going with that because, please, like a werewolf has anything to worry about from them.
After the dream at the church we find out that some festival has been cancelled because of the killings which Marty is extraordinarily bummed out about. Which is a little fucked up to me since his best friend just got brutally mauled. That's ok, but no fireworks? Aw, hell no!
So then we cut to a family picnic at the Coslaw's. Uncle Red and Marty are hanging out by the garage and Uncle Red is working on something mysterious for Marty. Marty is bitching about how all these killings have chased away his girlfriend, killed his best friend and now it's cancelled the fireworks. Uncle Red asks where everyone is. I only mention that because it leads to one of the best lines EVER in movies. Marty says:
"Jane's walking around in all these new clothes showing off her tits, acting like nobody ever had tits before her."
LOL
So, Uncle Red's big surprise is a new motorized wheelchair that's pretty awesome looking and goes fast. Before he leaves he also gives Marty a bunch of fireworks to show that "the bad guys can't win". More of a morale thing I guess.
Marty sneaks out later that night by shimmying down the drain pipe (told you he could climb that tree to stop Brady just fine). So Mr. Can't Climb a Tree takes out his new ride for a spin to the bridge to play with his new fireworks all by himself. Jeez, he could have at least invited Jane. Doing fireworks by yourself is just boring.
Then we get werewolf P.o.V again stalking Marty out all by his lonesome. I guess the fact that he could end up werewolf chow just as easily as Brady never crossed his mind. The werewolf is about to spring when Marty shoots a bottle rocket (from his hand! Not recommended) and gets the werewolf in the eye. The werewolf runs off in pain and Marty races home to cower in a corner.
The next day he tells Jane what happened and asks her to keep an eye out (see what I did there?) for anyone who looks injured or is wearing a bandage on his/her eye. Jane agrees and as she's collecting empty cans for the can drive at church she's keeping her eye out (I'm done, I promise) the whole time. And amazingly she seems to run into everyone to check out their eye situation. She doesn't find anyone and thinks Marty was playing a joke on her. Until...
She stops by the Reverend Werewolf's house to drop off the cans. We see he has only one eye but she doesn't, yet.
She gets freaked out by a mouse and falls butt first into the pile of cans (she trips more than a certain pasty faced brunette) where she finds a bat belonging to one of the Werewolf Hunters and gets even more freaked out. The Reverend Werewolf surprises her and...uh-oh...she sees that he's wearing an eyepatch. Gulp!
Shortly after that they send Reverend Werewolf little ransom/stalker notes suggesting nice friendly things like he should kill himself and whatnot.
Coming home from school one day the Reverend tries to ram him off the road with his car. By some very fortuitous things Marty manages to escape him until he strands himself in a dead end covered bridge. Out of gas and face to face with the werewolf. Yikes!
The werewolf gives a villain monologue about how he saved SillyStella's soul by killing her before she committed suicide and damned herself to Hell. He also says that he can't commit suicide because of their religion. Which brings us to another great line: "Do you see! You meddling little shit!" Giggle.
Some dude on a tractor arrives just in time to keep himself from getting chucked off a bridge and Reverend Wolfie takes off.
I have to question a few things about this scene. Reverend Wolfie says he killed SillyStella to save her soul. It's messed up but ok, I'll buy it. But what about everyone else? The Hunters I guess he could write off as self-defense but what about the other two guys and Brady? Somehow he manages to forget about all the people he killed that were perfectly happy living their lives. I did get a strong pedo vibe off of Tammy's dad so maybe he deserved it. But Brady was just hanging out with his kite. Wrong place wrong time I guess. Also, I am going to call major bullshit on tractor guy even hearing him through a wooden barrier AND over the tractor. If the movie was playing by real life Marty would have been over the side of that bridge in no time.
After Marty's run-in with the Reverend the kids decide that they need an adult's help with the whole werewolf thing but figure that the police won't believe them so they call Uncle Red. Let's just say he's not thrilled with what they've been doing. At first he doesn't believe them but then he notices scrapes on Marty's chair that matches the color of Reverend Wolfie's car. Although I always thought the scrapes were a little far down on the chair to be from a car but whatever.
So Red goes to the sheriff and yells him the whole story. The sheriff asks if he believes it and all Uncle Red will hazard is that he believes the Reverend ought to be checked out. Sheriff Haller is convinced and goes to check out the weekend's house. At night. Alone. This is going to end well, I can tell.
Werewolf- 8
After the sheriff goes missing the kids hand over their medallions to Uncle Red to make a silver bullet. He, of course, knows a weapons maker, a "wizard of weaponry" and an Old World Craftsman. Which of course less to another great exchange:
Uncle Red: Shoot, it's just a gag. I mean what would you use a silver bullet for?"
Craftsman: "How about a werewolf?"
Not even joking. He is dead serious.
Marty thinks that the Reverend Wolfie is going to wait until the next full moon so there will be no man left. Just the wolf. Apparently he forgot that the man side of the werewolf was going to chuck him off the bridge.
The next full moon rolls around and Uncle Red says that he won a trip for two to New York and wants to give it to Marty's mom and dad while he watches the kids. They're all excited and the uncle who was barely good enough to hang out with her kid while she was present is now good enough to watch them the whole weekend. As it turns out Red didn't win a trip. He set the whole thing up so that he could be there with the kids during the full moon. Awww.
So they're waiting for the wolf and everyone's dozing off. Red gets irritated and decides to send the kids to bed while he sits up the rest of the night. He takes the bullet out of the gun (!!) and of course that's when shit gets real.
The werewolf breaks in, the bullet goes flying and as the werewolf starts tossing Uncle Red about a bit and playing with Jane's head (fortunately still attached to her body) it's up to Marty to find the bullet and save the day.
Aaaand that's the end folks.
A few last thoughts though. It never days how he became a werewolf. Which isn't really important to the story but I'm curious. Also, I think a line saying that the Reverend was new in town might have been nice because it seems like he was always there but never killed anyone before? That seems unlikely. Oh well.
So, as always any comments are appreciated. Any movies you'd like me to do, anything I can improve? Just let me know! Hopefully, the next movie will be Warlock starring Julian Sands.
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