Hello everyone! Three more days until Halloween! Confetti! Fireworks! Candy!
When I first started the blog I really wanted to do one movie per day. Well, we can all see how well that turned out. I just have too little time to do it as much as I'd like to. So, I'm going to try out a schedule of every Tuesday, Friday, and Sunday. So let's see how that works out.
Today's movie is Fright Night. Not the 'reboot'. Seriously, who do they think they're kidding? It's a fancy term for a remake. I can't comment on how well it turned out because I haven't seen it yet, I'm just going by how they usually turn out. Total Recall? Robocop? But we're doing the 1985 version. I love this movie. It's just a really fun vampire movie. And pretty much a lot of the joy of vampires has been sucked (pardon the pun) out of the vampire genre as of late. Of course, most of the humor comes from Chris Sarandon as
SYNOPSIS:
Charley lives next door to a vampire but no one believes him. And the vampire knows it.
The Pickings:
We start off with Charley and his girlfriend Amy 'studying' which to most teenagers means sucking face. Which is what they're doing. Amy tries to distract him by pointing out that his favorite late night monster movie host is on, Peter Vincent. But no, it's not Elvira so Charley just wants to play kissy face. He keeps trying to cop a feel, she tells him no until she pushes him off. He gets mad and says that they've been going out "almost a year and all he ever hears is Charley stoop it!"
Gee, almost a year, huh? Damn, Charley, how have you made it this far?! Sorry, sarcasm overload. He apologizes and she says very meaningfully, "Let's get into bed".
They suck face some more but Charley gets distracted by two guys carrying a coffin across the yard. While Amy gets into bed he grabs his binoculars and decides to do a little pre-sex peeping.
This next part I thought was really cute. Amy takes her shirt off, looks down at herself and immediately covers herself with her shirt as she tells Charley that she's ready in a really nervous voice. It definitely seems like something a girl who's nervous about her body and her first time would do. On another note I like the fact that they look like real people. Charley's no stud muffin and Amy has a healthy looking body and is a little bit on the plain side. She has a really beautiful smile and would look a lot better if they hadn't given her a grandma hair style.
Back to the story, he's too busy watching the guys next door to notice he has a half naked girl on his bed. Idiot. He tells her about the men and the coffin and she scoffs a bit. I think I would have at least looked but whatever. He stays glued to the window so she gets pissed and goes storming out of his room, with her shirt still hanging open, I might add. He chases her down the stairs and she says "First you want to make love and then you don't!" It's so cute that they think teenagers actually say 'make love'.
Cut to Charley's mom sitting on the couch. Whoops! But it's ok because Charley's mom seems afflicted with the same hearing issues that plague characters on tv and movies. Namely, that a loud argument could be carrying on right next to them and nobody will hear anything. Charley keeps peeping out the window while Amy and his mom chat. Amy tries twice to say goodnight to him but he can't seem to stop looking out the oh-so-fascinating window and just blows her off. She storms out (again) and slams the door. His mom scolds him mildly for being rude (not quite the word I would have chosen but ok). He tells her about the new neighbors and their voices fade out a bit as a newscaster talks about a man being murdered that evening.
Not much happens the next day at school except that we learn Charley is failing trig and Amy is still pissed at him. We're also introduced to his friend 'Evil' Ed.
Charley arrives home from school to see a cab pulling up and a hot blond gets out. I'm not sure why but I always had the impression that she was an escort. The movie never says but we'll call her that. She asks if she's at the right address and of course not, she's going to the Vamp House.
Charley goes to his own escort-less home where he and his mother talk a little bit about the new neighbors. He wonders who they are and she says she doesn't know but she's heard that he had a live-in carpenter and with her luck he's probably gay. Um, ok? Live-in carpenter equals gay I guess. *shrug*
Charley says he's going upstairs to study and his mom is shocked. I am too when I see that he's actually studying rather than being Creeper Charley with his binoculars. As he's knocking off for the night he gets startled by a scream.
At a diner the next day Amy comes to make up with him. He apologizes and she says no, it was really her fault (WTF woman! He was being a jackass!). They make up and she starts to gush about how much she's missed him but he gets up in the middle of it to check out the tv which is telling about a dead body that was found mutilated and the picture is that of the woman he saw the day before. His friend Evil joins him to say that on the police scanner it said that she wasn't the only murder and that they were both found decapitated. Which soaked a debate at the house on why he would do this. A few of the suggestions were to hide the bite marks, easier disposal and to get rid of any DNA. Which sparked another debate on whether or not vampires leave DNA.
Anywho, Amy gets pissed and smashes a really nasty looking sloppy joe into his face. And, you guessed it, storms off.
Back in the 'burbs we see the may-be-gay Live-In Carpenter painting the windows black. He looks out to see Charley sneaking not-so-sneakily into the property and trying to open the door to the cellar. He surprises Charley and wants to knew what he's doing there. Charley says nothing and Live-In tells him to keep it that way. Charley rushes off to his own house. Ok, both the movie and the music are telling me to be suspicious but Charley was trespassing and if some kid just walked into my property and started going in my cellar I'd be a little pissy too.
That night Charley decides to put his Creeper skills to good use and spy on the neighbors. He dozes off (probably a junk food induced coma judging by all the wrappers on the floor). The porn music wakes him up in time to see the neighbor and a hot brunette getting sexy, right at the window. How convenient for Peeper Charley! Jerry's about to get his bite on when he notices Charley watching and pulls down the blinds. Charley notices that it's been a while since Jerry had a manicure.
Later that night Charley notices Live-In carrying a suspicious garbage bag. Jerry joins him, strong from the shadows just after the flapping of wind is heard. I get that it would be cool to be able to do that but why? It would have just been easier to walk down the stairs. From Charley's peeper bushes he sees Jerry toss a fancy purse to Live-In and tells him not to forget it. Charley's mom calls him from the porch and Jerry tosses the apple he's been snacking on next to Charley. My only theory on the whole apple thing is that he's part fruit bat.
Charley very gracefully and sneakily runs back to his house where he tries to tell his mom what he saw. She thinks he had a nightmare. He tells her that he thinks Jerry is a vampire and his mom is all "A WHAT?!"
Nice segue to Amy repeating the same thing. For some reason she thinks it's part of a plot to get her back. He gets annoyed and tells her he's going to the cops.
I'm sure this will go well.
Later, Charley follows the detective to Vamp House. Soooo cops bring witnesses with them? That doesn't seem like a good idea. They go in and the detective asks to see Jerry who, since it's daytime, is 'out'. The detective confronts Live-In with Charley's accusations about setting the girl there and Live-In says that she was but left sometime during the night. Charley says "Liar, liar, pants on fire, I saw you carry her out in a garbage bag."
Live-In says he did take out the garbage and offers to show it to the detective. He also asks Charley if he actually saw a body and Charley had to confess that he didn't. Live-In starts to show them out. Ok, first of all, the body question should have come from the detective and secondly, I always thought that it was the detective that ends the interview. Through most of this 'investigation' the chip is a spectator. Charley then tells them to check the cellar. The detective asks what he thinks they'll find down there. Live-In repeats his question with hilarious smugness and a goofy eyebrow wiggle. Charley obliges by putting his foot awesomely in it.
"You'll find Jerry Dandrige! Sleeping the sleep of the undead!"
Way to shoot yourself in the foot kid. The cop of course laughs at him and Live-In is a smarmy, hilarious ass about it, too. The cop leaves, followed closely by Charley. The detective threatens Charley that he'll throw him in jail if he ever comes to the station house again. Because that's a thing that's totally legit.
Live-In congress out on the balcony to give Charley a meaningful stare as he leaves. Charley realizes "Oh, shit!" and takes off for Evil's house for vampire blocking advice. Evil does it for eight bucks. He tells Charley about the usual stuff like garlic, holy water, stakes, and crosses. The slight twist on the cross thing is that you have to have faith for it to work which I've never heard before but it makes sense when you think about it. And if course you must never ever ever invite the vampire in.
Our next shot of Charley is him making his Windows down. He hears his mother calling him so goes downstairs in a pretty chipper mood which is promptly crushed when he sees who the visitor is...Jerry from next door! Surprise!
And I find it hilarious that they're drinking Bloody Marys. I wonder who chose that?
Mom introduces them and Charley looks freaked out. Mom's do thrilled to have such a beefcake in her living room that she's not picking up on the not-so-subtle creepiness between her son and Jerry. Jerry says now that he has permission he'll probably be stopping over quite often. Charley says he's not feeling well and bails. Jerry calls that he'll see him. Soon.
Late at night Charley's on Vamp Patrol and hears a noise downstairs. Armed with his trusty cross he goes to investigate. While he's down there Jerry enters the house through Mom's window. He kindly bypasses her but does jam her door so she can't interfere. He goes to Charley's room.
Charley finds nothing downstairs, not even a cat and goes back to his room where Jerry proceeds to throw him around like a rag doll. So much for not waking mom up. He tells Charley that he's going to give him something he doesn't have, a choice. He can leave Jerry alone or he can keep involving himself and get himself and his loved ones in a world of hurt. Or, you know, dead. He doesn't really give Charley much time to answer though. Charley tries to use the cross but I guess his faith skills are still too weak because it doesn't work. A pencil to the hand, however, does. Jerry full-on vamps before deciding to bail. Mom is banging on the door wanting to know what all the noise was and Charley tells her it was a nightmare. Because I always trash my room during nightmares. Then she decides to share some bizarre dream about being at a white sale (?) stark naked. They hear a crashing noise outside but Charley just says it's critters and tells her to go back to sleep. The phone rings and it's Guess Who! Jerry tells Charley that he just trashed Charley's car but that it's nothing compared to what he's going to do to Charley tomorrow night. After the call Charley's eyes are drawn to the tv where Peter Vincent is blathering on how he knows that vampires are real and how he's fought them in their many guises. Charley gets the insane idea that Peter Vincent is his salvation. Which makes absolutely no sense at all! I'm not going to call Arnold Schwarzenegger if I get mugged just because he played a cop once.
Charley, however, politely disagrees with me and thinks it's a fabulous idea.
The next day Charley
Amy and Evil arrive at Charley's house to see if he's ok. They go in to find Charley sharpening stakes and apparently he did a little candle shopping while waiting for Vincent. There are candles everywhere! Amy wants to know what's going on and Charley tells her that before sunset he's going to go over and put a stake in Jerry's heart. She points out that if he does that then he'll be a murderer. Charley's retort is that you can't murder a vampire because they're already dead. Fair enough. She also points out that if he gets killed by Jerry then who'll stop him. Evil goes along with her saying that Jerry will suck his way through the town "Not that it'd be much of a loss"
Amy also points out that it will be dark soon and that he wouldn't want to be there then. He agrees. She suggests trying to get Peter Vincent to help (what is with this! getting an actor who plays a vampire killer to help you is not a legit strategy!). Charley tells her that he tried Vincent already and got turned down. She says that she and Evil will try and makes him promise not to do anything until he hears from them again. He agrees. Much of this conversation has a "Let's humor the crazy person" tone to it but Amy does seem sincere about wanting to help him even though it's pretty clear she doesn't believe him.
Amy and Evil go to Vincent to try to get him to help. He says no at first, claiming to be busy with numerous movie contracts even though you can tell that he's lying it of his ass. Amy offers him $500 to help and that changes his mind. Evil suggests a plan to 'test' Jerry to prove to Charley that he's not a vampire. Vincent calls Jerry to make sure it's ok. He agrees but vetoes crosses because he's a born again Christian (not sure what that has to do with anything but ok) he also says holy water is a no-go for the same reason. Honestly, he might as well scream "I'm really a vampire!" Vincent tells him it will just be regular tap water.
Jerry's all happy that they're having dinner in tonight because they're all coming there.
Much later they all arrive at Jerry's and Charley's losing his shit. He freaks out about Vincent leaving his stakes in the car. Vincent says they have to have proof first but Charley's worried that once they prove it Dandrige will kill them all before Vincent can get his stakes but Vincent declares he is there to protect them because he's in full-on Peter Vincent, Vampire Killer mode.
They enter and Jerry makes a stunning entrance at the top of the stairs. He shakes hands with Peter Vincent and says he found his movies amusing. Then charms Evil by telling him they should get together and talk because they probably have a lot of the same interests, such as horror movies (lol). Actually, Evil reminds me a lot of myself in high school. Still not sure if that's good or bad.
Then he charms the undies off of Amy before joking about that being something vampires do and everyone laughs. Well, everyone except Charley. While Vincent and Jerry are talking Charley conveniently sees an open packing crate nearby and checks out a painting that looks a lot like Amy before joining the vampire-outing party. Charley just wants to get going on the vamp test and never mind the chit chat. His friends are all "Rude!" But Jerry says he's used to it from Charley because Charley sicced the cops on him earlier. Vincent gives him the un-holy holy water with many a significant look between Jerry and Vincent. Jerry checks it holding it by the fire. Not really sure what this tells him but ok, movie. Maybe holy water sparkles to a vampire. He downs it in one go and Charley freaks out, saying it's impossible and that it couldn't have been really blessed. Vincent gives him an incredibly bitchy "Are you calling me a liar?" speech which is funny because he is.
However, while Amy and Evil make chit chat before going Vincent checks his mirror and sees no reflection. It freaks him out and he drops the mirror then hustles everyone out. One outside Charley confronts Vincent, asking him what he saw. Vincent tells him about no reflection and gtfo's.
Inside, Jerry finds the broken piece of mirror and looks thoughtful.
The trio start walking and Charley insists on him and Evil walking Amy home first. Evil wants to take a short cut through a dark alley that I'd avoid even if there weren't vampires. Charley and Amy both vote no and Evil calls them pussies and they go their separate ways. A second or two later they hear a scream and find Evil viewing and covering his face. Charley starts giving him an "I told you the vampires would get you" but Psych! Evil was just messing with them. They get huffy and leave.
After they leave Evil starts getting chased down alleys by Dandrige. When Dandrige finally corners him he offers Evil a chance to join him and finally belong. Stephen Geiffreys acts the hell out of this scene. Without ever really saying anything. He does it all in looks with one tear going down his face and it is great.
Farther down the street Amy and Charley hear him scream. Amy thinks he's just messing with them again so they continue walking. They notice Dandrige behind them and try to hide from him in a club. Charley decides to call Peter Vincent for help and Amy confesses that she paid him to be there. That doesn't matter to Charley so he calls him anyway.
Cut to Vincent's house. Evil is banging on his doorclaiming a vampire is after him. Sucker that he is Vincent lets him right in and Evil reveals that he's now a vampire and tries to attack Vincent. It never says but I'm assuming Dandrige sent him there to take care of the Vincent loose end. Vincent pulls a cross on Evil and brands him on the head with it. Evil flees after telling Vincent that "The Master will kill you! Slowly, oh so sloooowly!"
Back to the club. Dandrige follows them in and hypnotizes Amy into dancing with him to bad '80s music. He also apparently changed his dorky grandma Christmas sweater that he was wearing at the house into a much sexier collar-bone baring sweater along the way.
They dance and Dandrige starts to leave with Amy. Charley and a bouncer try to stop him but Dandrige decides "Screw subtlety" and rips the dude's throat out with his claws.
My only problem with this scene (besides Dandrige deciding to screw being incognito) is that Dandrige is walking away with Amy, she's following him willingly. Charley comes up and says "Let her go!" and the bouncer decides to go after Dandrige. How does he know that Dandrige isn't her boyfriend and he just let Amy's stalker escape with her?
Not that it matters because Dandrige gets her back and he, Live-In, and Evil all take off with her in a truck.
Charley goes to beg for Vincent's help and find him packing to leave. Charley begs for help and tells him that they have Amy. Vincent is troubled by this but his great plan is to call the cops. Because that worked so well the first time. Charley tells him that it's up to them alone.Vincent confesses that he was paid to be there today and that he's afraid. Charley says, "But you're Peter Vincent! The great Vampire Killer!" To which Vincent rightfully replies "That is a character in a movie!" Which is what I've been saying this whole time. He tries to get him to help but Vincent's too afraid.
Meanwhile at the Vamp House Amy is all dressed up. Jerry enters shirtless and we have a nice little seduction and chomp!
Arriving at the Vamp House Charley meets up with Vincent in full Peter Vincent, Vampire Killer mode. The front door opens for them and they enter. Jerry's waiting for them looking sublimely smug. Vincent tries to cross him but it doesn't work because of too little faith. Which I didn't get exactly because Vincent uses it on Evil just fine. But, maybe he was less sure of himself because he knew Dandrige was far older, more powerful and far more intelligent than Evil.
Fortunately, Charley had faith to spare do he crosses Dandrige which makes him back up. But charley gets a little too cocky and turns to talk to Vincent. Live-In pops up to jack Charley across the head, knocking him out. Vincent flees in terror.
Vincent runs next door, calling for Charley's mom. When he tries to make a phone call he realizes that the phone cord has been cut (ah, cell phones, how you've changed things) he rushes upstairs and is momentarily relieved by seeing a person lying in the bed. Unfortunately, it is Evil Ed wearing a red mop? on his head. He says that Mrs. Brewster isn't there. Then he sticks his tongue out at Vincent. Evil is so funny here. I hate what happens next. And yes, younger me had a bit of a crush on him. Even as a grody-toothed vampire.
Vincent stumbles out of the room and down the stairs. Evil, as a wolf, comes out of the bedroom to attack Vincent and finish him off. The wolf with the red eyes is majorly cool looking. He lines at Vincent and Vincent defends himself with a broken piece of wood. He must be taking tips from Buffy's 'anything can be a stake' handbook.
What follows is a very well done effects job of a wolf devolving back into a human. And again, Stephen Geoffrey and Roddy McDowell acts the fuck out of it.
Back at Vamp House Dandrige is carrying Charley upstairs and roses him on the bed next to a shivering, sweaty, unconscious Amy. He throws Charley a stake and tells him that he's gonna need it. Charley turns Amy over and realizes that she's been vamped. Dandrige hears him scream and smiles happily to himself.
Vincent sneaks back over and tries to break the door down to the room in which Amy and he ate being held captive. Dandrige realizes that Vincent is back. Charley asks if they can save Amy and Vincent tells him that if they kill Dandrige before dawn then that should work.
They try to leave and are confronted by Dandrige's ghoul or whatever the fuck he is. They shoot him. And this makes very little sense. The 'ghoul' or whatever, bleeds red from the forehead when shot. When they finally kill him he starts to disintegrate in puddles of embalming fluid and sand. So, he has real blood in his head but embalming fluid everywhere else? I just don't get this. He also can walk around in the daytime so he's not a vampire but the gun doesn't work and they kill him with a stake to the chest, like a vampire. I honestly don't know.
They check on Amy who is vamping out more. Her hair had also gotten remarkably longer. They go in search of Dandrige who is flapping around outside. He commands Amy to arise and kill them. They lock her in the room and hunt for Dandrige some more. He jumps through the window (destroying a beautiful stained glass window) and starts to come after them until Vincent finds where he left his faith and pulls the cross on him. All the clocks start going off, letting Dandrige knew that sunrise is approaching. Even though you can see it behind him I guess it doesn't bother him? He turns into a skinless bat puppet and attacks Vincent. They drag him into the sun and he flees to the basement.
They split up, Vincent in search of Dandrige and Charley to check out a noise. The noise they hear turns out to be Amy. Charley pulls the cross on her and she guilty him by saying he broke his promise to not let Dandrige get her. He comes over to her and she reveals Full Vamp Amy and attacks him. Vincent stakes Dandrige and Jerry's not too pleased about it. A fight commences and Vincent and Charley start knocking out the windows and the sunlight finishes Dandrige off, again with great effects. Amy's back to normal and everything ends well.
Our does it? A few nights later Charley and Amy are 'studying' in his room and watching Peter Vincent who is back on tv. But instead of vampires he's hosting sci-fi movies. He gives a shout-out to Charley on tv. As Charley is crossing the room he happens to look out of his window into the house next door and briefly sees a pair of red eyes that are gone a moment later.
THE END
Fright Night is just a really fun vampire movie with very little nudity (comparatively), and very little swearing. Which, in my opinion, if you watch a horror movie and get shocked by the language you're really watching the wrong genre. Sex, however, did not always need to be included but sometimes is at the most random spots.
Well, that's my recap for Tuesday. See you all on Friday for Pumpkin Head.