Dead Dancing Women: Chapter 8 Recap

  Man, I hope this chapter is a bit more exciting than the last one. Not much happened. They went to a friend of 'Miz' Poet's, Joslyn. And that's about it.


  Chapter 8:
  Leaving Joslyn's house DD has some deep thoughts on trees, dying and going out in a blaze of color.
  Emily brings up the fact that they all seem scared and DD agrees. She also says that the people who live back in the woods get funny being alone too much. Jesus, it's not the wilds of Antarctica. Town from just about anywhere is 20-3- minutes. Tops. Maybe to the author this is the wilds, I don't know. This leads to this quote from Emily which I find hilarious:

  "I live alone back in these woods," I said, yet one more time, taking umbrage at her blanket judgment of us all.

  Emily! Is offended by a blanket judgment. Something the author and her indulge in regularly in this book. Talk about being self-unaware.

  Anywho, they word-spar a bit and Emily thinks to herself that DD's only in her 30's but already getting the skin of middle-age. Um, I don't think you're a spring chicken yourself there. I think Emily has some self-esteem issues. She certainly likes tearing down the way other women look.
 
  Anywhat, DD apologizes for casting aspersions on Emily's sanity. If you knew what Emily was just thinking about you I think you'd take back that apology. She says that Emily's really helping her (Hahaha). She has literally done nothing at all.
  She keeps talking about braking so I guess they're driving. For some reason I thought they were walking. Emily says that after giving her advice on her life that DD better be ready to say that she lives at Disneyland with a husband and kids and little birdies tweeting. DD just laughs at her.
  This next quote. I don't even know what to say. It seems like the author can't let one page go by without assuring us that Emily's !smart!

  "I'll bet you're a really good writer, Emily" she said as we neared my drive. "I mean, I've never known anybody that wrote anything but letters and checks before. You're probably a lot smarter than I am. Maybe that's my problem with you. It's like you're looking down at me. I've only been out of Leetsville a couple times in my life. I don't know...eh...the things you know. I didn't go to college, like you."

  Oh. My. God. I don't even know where to start. For one, college does not guarantee intelligence. Two, she is looking down on you DD.

                                                                

  Anywhere, Emily is surprised that DD has feelings. You know, like a real person. Emily nicely says that she's not looking down on DD. And then blames her for making Emily's neighbors hate her. Nice, Emily. You can't even give a compliment without an insult.

  They talk a little more and come to the conclusion that if it was the dancing that got them killed then the others might be in trouble. Emily, the !smart! one, doubts DD's theory.

  Anyhow, Emily decides that she's calling it a day and DD needs to pee. There's some talk of moving cars around like they're in separate cars so now I'm really confused. The way they were talking and all the stuff about DD braking I thought they were in the same car. Oh well. On with the chapter.

  DD offers to call in the morning if she finds out anything. Emily is having second thoughts about teaming up with Deputy Dolly. In fact, she feels about like Nancy Drew.

  She goes inside to find a message from her ex-husband, Jackson, on her answering machine. He asks her to call him with a phony laugh "as if I could deny him, would deny him: as if any woman could." She's  being sarcastic but we'll see how much she doormats later.
 
He goes on to say that he's "always thought of us as friends, no matter how difficult you made things".

  Pretty ballsy for someone asking a favor, Jackson. Emily stomps around a bit, vowing that she's not going to call him back.
  Instead, she calls the Michigan State Police, Sheriff Barnard and her boss at the paper, Bill.
  Then she calls Jackson. Twit.
  And then gets mad when she gets his machine. She's very proud of herself for not adding a "Please, oh please" or anything equally beggar-ish.
  Emily decides that she's depressed so she needs to keep away from the fridge or she'll hoover everything in sight. But, she's sure to tell us, she never puts on weight after her binges. Yeah, whatever Miss Perfect. What she has to be "deeply depressed" about, I don't know.

  She decides to go work on her book and ignore the investigation for a bit. We get another description of her studio. She says it's undecorated. Except a few chapters ago we got a nice, detailed description of her artsy inspirations. I guess continuity isn't her strong suit. There's also this quote, which is just a strange sentence:

"in the still time before the sun went down, when the world held it's breath and noises were embarrassing and alien"

  I have no idea what an "embarrassing" evening noise would be. I can think of a couple but none that I would hear in the middle of nowhere, in the woods. The alien thing I get. Especially if you're unfamiliar with the woods. But "embarrassing" is just a weird word to use.

  She goes over in her mind the detective she wants to create. A detective with a checkered past, divorced, possibly a (former) drunk. Because that's sooo much more original than anything your "hick" neighbors come up with.

  She decides that real life sucks and she's not in the mood to write. 


  End of Chapter


  Well, at least a little more happened this chapter. Emily is still her little snarky self. I might be over-sensitive to it but god, she acts so damn superior and we don't need an every-other-page reminder that she's !smart! and a college educated woman. Of course, Emily does very little that could be considered smart so maybe the author thought we needed reminding.


  I am really, really hoping to get the X-Files recap done tomorrow. It's taking a little longer than I thought it would.

  As always, leave me a comment or two if you have any requests or suggestions! I'd love to hear from you. I'm still reading Dracula and tweeting my thoughts here and there. If you'd like to follow along it's PickingOnStuff@GKimball5

Dead Dancing Women: Chapter 7 Recap

  Well, I've been trying to get to the X-Files episode recaps but it hasn't been working out too well. Hopefully tomorrow. So, here's another chapter of Dead Dancing Women and later today I'll be posting a review of Cellar Door II: Words of Beauty, Tales of Terror. So, look for that a little later tonight!


  Last Week:
  Emily and DD went to question Emily's neighbor Harry and Emily was offered some Possum Stew.


  Chapter 7:
  Their next stop is 'Miz' Poet's friend, Joslyn and Joslyn's son Ernie. We learn that DD is driving very carefully because she's already wrecked one too many police cars. I stand by DD. Half the roads around here suck and are full of potholes so the roads probably wrecked DD's cars.
  We get more descriptions of the woods (yay) and Emily accusing the birds flying south of desertion and cowardice. Emily seriously needs some help because she has a serious grudge against the local wildlife.

  They arrive at Joslyn who is an uber-gardener so we get a description of her house and garden. Joslyn is just as thrilled to see them as Harry was ( meaning 'not much'). Emily complains that Joslyn doesn't look very friendly because she's not greeting them with a smile.

A. Nobody smiles when the police show up at their house

and

B. Her best friend's head was just found you insensitive twit!

  Anywho, she also manages to put her down by saying she looks all of her seventy+ years and she's dressed sloppy. Again, her best friend's head was just found! Presumably the rest of her is dead so why should she be bright, perky and dressed to the nines?!

  They go through the motions of telling Joslyn about 'Miz' Poet's head in the garbage can even though Emily suspects that Joslyn already knows. I don't know why she wouldn't because the woman has a phone, was friends with 'Miz' Poet and everyone else knows. But, whatever the reason, she acts like she doesn't know and gets a little faint. Emily is upset that they are talking through the screen door and thinks that DD's uniform might be making people leery. Emily figures that since she won't open the screen door then she's on her own with the shock.

  DD tells her straight up who's head it was and Joslyn says she was hoping it wasn't true (or words to that effect). When she starts crying her son appears and tries to get them out of there, saying that their other friend, Flora Coy, had already told her. DD doesn't want to go and has a couple of questions but Emily wants them to leave as well.
  DD presses for information about whether he saw anything by the road, anybody around acting strangely, about the Pastor who preached about them. Pretty typical questions. Emily keeps trying to pull DD away and they have a glare-off. I don't think Emily gets how investigations are done.
  Ernie gives them the names of the other women in the group. He also says that it's a terrible thing and probably an accident or something. Because  when you're old your head just falls right off, I guess.

  Emily thinks to herself that neither mother nor son are very hospitality minded. She says that she understands their reluctance because they weren't the kind of people to have police and reporters all up in their faces every day. Which is a little weird being that she was just complaining that Joslyn wasn't very friendly or inviting.


  End of Chapter

  Wow, that one was kind of short. And pointless. The only new information was that Joslyn already knew. So, not really sure why it was such a shock to her.

  So, yeah, I'll definitely be doing the review tonight.  Hopefully, I'll finally get to the X-Files tomorrow.


  If you want to follow along with me in Dracula I'll be tweeting about it  here: https://twitter.com/GraceKimball5

Flashback Sunday! The Locker: Chapter 3 Recap

  I was going to start the X-Files episode recaps Saturday night but, unfortunately, didn't get a chance to. So I will be starting them tomorrow instead. I'd like to do them Monday, Wednesday and Saturday but I'll just have to see how it goes. If that is too much I will at least aim for Mondays and Fridays.

  I'm also reading Dracula by Bram Stoker and doing some tweets of my thoughts. I have read it before (a lot) but it has been a while so most of my thoughts will be fresh coming to it. If you'd like to follow along my Twitter account name is : https://twitter.com/GraceKimball5 (PickingOnStuff@GraceKimball5 if the link doesn't work).

  Anyways, on with The Locker!


  Last Week:
  Marlee made a friend and got assigned a locker that blew death-breath in her face when she opened it. She also heard screams and felt like she was being strangled to death. I've never understood that expression. For instance, I've never heard of anyone being strangled to life. But I digress.


  Chapter Three:
  Marlee come back slowly from The Dead Zone, understandably a little freaked. She almost faints and realizes that it isn't her new friend Noreen holding her up but Hunky Tyler. For some reason, in the midst of her freaking out she notices a mole behind Noreen's ear, Noreen's shoelace, Tyler's possibly formerly broken pinky and a faded scar on his wrist (more proof that Tyler's emo). None of which really means anything but Marlee being about to faint. They talk a bit about her going to the school nurse even though Marlee insists she's ok, even though she really, really feels like crying. Funnily enough, Tyler actually believes her and they go outside to get some fresh air.

  We get a little hint that something like this has happened before to Marlee. The vision, I mean. Noreen starts babbling to try to make Marlee feel better. Marlee appreciates it and attributes her nausea to the smell coming from her locker. Tyler and Noreen exchange Meaningful! looks. Marlee tries to laugh it off but they're still staring at her. Which has got to be a little awkward.

  Anywho, Noreen says she didn't smell anything and Marlee insists that there's no way she could have missed it. So they all go back into the school to check it out. Tyler takes a sniff and makes a hilarious joke about "the gym socks that wouldn't die!"
  Noreen scolds him for it and then they all take turns sniffing The Locker. Which has got to look a little weird. And apparently no one notices these kids aren't in class yet.

  Anywhat, they talk a little bit more about the smell and Tyler theorizes that maybe the smell came from the nearby Biology lab. Noreen tells a fascinating story about a friend of hers that walked by the lab and fainted on a goldfish bowl and got cut. Tyler makes a lovely (sarcasm) joke about the poor fish that got squashed because she was a 'heavy' girl. Nice, Tyler.
  To drop the subject Marlee agrees that the smell could have come from the lab even though she knows it didn't. Noreen frets a bit about gas leaks and Tyler makes a joke about anything being possible. Like him turning into a werewolf and running around naked looking for a vet. Don't get excited. No werewolves. Noreen makes a joke about Tyler's naked-ity giving her nightmares. After he leaves, however, she says he looks pretty damn good. Well, then.

  Anywhere, Marlee suggests they get to class and Noreen talks up Tyler some more and tells that she knows he looks good because she caught him skinny-dipping with a bunch of guys at the cabin. Huh. Marlee's not really listening, however, because she can't stop staring at The Locker. But, she does thank Noreen for not laughing at her and thinking she's a freak.
  Marlee thinks that maybe the last person to use the locker left something nasty in it and Noreen is oddly specific on when that particular locker was last used. Marlee wants to know what the deal is. Noreen doesn't really want to say but it turns out that The Locker had last been used by a girl named Suellen Downing who disappeared the previous fall. No one has used it since then. Dun dun dunnn!

End of Chapter


  Good cliffhanger and we'll find out more next week. What could Marlee be talking about, I wonder?

Dead Dancing Women Chapter 6 Recap

  Hello! Last time Emily and Deputy Dolly made a pact to investigate the case together and Emily was even more insulting. Go figure.


  Ok, I say Emily is insulting a lot. Which she is. But I'm also using Emily's name as a stand-in for her creator, Elizabeth Kane Buzzelli. Because a lot of Emily's thoughts and attitudes are shaped by her creator, obviously, so I'm guessing that most of Emily's opinions on the natives come from her. All right, all right, enough of my griping. On with the recap!


  Emily has arrived at Harry's and gives us a very detailed description of it. And also describes his vehicle, which sounds a bit mongrel so I'm picturing this:

                                                                       

        B-Eating-U

  Emily and DD talk a bit about the old logging roads and the roads that have been put in by oil companies. DD thinks that everyone who has the mineral rights ends up like Jed Clampett or something. Which is stupid. And I do know this for a fact. Because mostly what they do is drill, cap it and leave it. If you're lucky you might get a check every month. And this is personal experience. Now, maybe there's other factors at play but that is the general idea. I have yet to hear of anyone striking it insta-rich. And I'm only going into so much detail about it here because *SPOILER* it's an important plot point later. One that I found highly implausible.

  Anywho, back to Emily and DD. Emily thinks about Weird Harry a bit. He apparently wears a funeral suit (in case he dies while working, of course), is razor-thin, never looks people in the face when talking to them and wanders away to pick up stones and leaves. So. Me on a good day. He is apparently near ninety because he worked for the logging camps in the '20s. I only go into so much detail with her because Harry is a recurring character. How recurring I don't know. I've only read the first and second book in this series. Emily pissed me off so much in the second book that I gave up. For you, dear readers, I'll see what I can do.

  Anywhat, they wonder if he's home and turns out he is. Emily takes a moment to ponder the thought that while Harry wears the suit all day, every day, year-round, it never smells. He only smells like wood smoke. Gee, Emily, maybe he washes it. You know, like people do with their clothes. Amazingly E.K.B. manages to avoid the "dirty shack guy" stereotype and Emily notes that Harry's house is clean but cluttered.

  Harry is really quiet and Emily figures out that he's scared but she doesn't know of what. Maybe it's having the police in his house or maybe it's just women in general is her assumption. She goes off on a tangent about a professor her ex-husband was friends with at U of M who (ironically) was very handsome and taught poetry a "class filled to overflowing with dewy-eyed sprites clutching their spit-worn Emily Dickinsons to fluttering bosoms."
  And if you have any guesses as to wtf she means by spit-worn let me know 'cause I've got no fucking clue. I'm picturing a spit-covered book and it's kind of gross.

  Then she says that she herself is a kind of spit-worn Emily Dickinson. Since she was named for her Emily has decided that she's just like Emily Dickinson. Except she's not. At all. But Emily "decided early in life that there was something tragic about me, too" She just can't figure out what.

  Anywhere, now that we're off that tangent. What follows is some painfully slow back and forth about whether or not Harry knows 'Miz' Poet or not. Remember her? The head?
  DD insists he knows her, he insists he doesn't for two pages. Then they switch gears to how the head ended up in the garbage can and he again insists that he wasn't anywhere near the road that day.
  He gives them some possum stew and they warn him that people are going to be searching the woods for the rest of 'Miz' Poet the next day.

  Once away from Harry's house DD tells Emily that Harry was lying. Emily thinks she means about knowing 'Miz' Poet after all and figures DD's right because everyone knows everyone but that's not what DD means. She meant about being out to the road. Remember that possum roadkill waaay back in Chapter One? Well, he's now happily resting in the stew Harry gave her.
  Emily tries to say "Nu-uh! No Way!" But DD insists "Yes, way!" and points out the missing possum from the road. Emily says that maybe the crows got it and DD points out that if Harry hadn't been out to the road then how would he know how many crows there were. Which I don't get because crows are everywhere here. Any given day you can say there's a lot of crows and have a chance at being right.
  Emily's not too keen on eating the soup now that DD has pointed out that it's Roadkill Special. And said roadkill was resting not too far from a disembodied head at one point.

                                                               

                                                                       Mmmmmm

End of Chapter

  A fairly short chapter today. Looks like next chapter they go visit some of 'Miz' Poet's friends. Should be a blast.


  Hope everyone had a good and safe holiday!
  This Saturday I'm going to be starting episode recaps of X-Files. I've been thinking about it for a while and I figured now would be a great time to do it since the show is going to be on again (YAY!). So, pop back here on Saturday to follow me and my adventures with 'The Enigmatic Dr. Scully' and Stone-Face Mulder.

Dead Dancing Women: Chapter 5 Recap

  Last time: Emily went to Leetsville, gave her statement and headed off to Fuller's EATS for the gossip. And she found time to be insulting. I'll bet she can do it again...she's talented that way.


 Chapter Five:
  Emily goes to EATS and stops to check out the owner's latest genealogy find. If you may remember from the previous chapter Eugenia likes to trace her roots and most of them have been criminals. The latest is a John Holliday. Emily is keeping a tally on how many relatives have been hung and how many had been to jail. 41-9 in case you were wondering. She doesn't say which this one this is, probably because John Holliday died in a tuberculosis sanitarium. Oh, I mean, gee, who could he be?

                                                             

Wrong Doc? Fine.

 

Better?

 

  Anywho, Emily comments that the diner is low, dark and smoky. Which is kind of weird because they passed the No Smoking law before then but ok.
  Eugenia and Emily gossip a bit about 'Miz' Poet. Guess Eugenia's not from downstate. Eugenia suggests that Emily interview a woman named Joslyn, who was a close friend of 'Miz' Poet. Apparently they were "closer than jelly donuts". Why jelly donuts would be closer than other pastry is beyond me but anything to make her sound more provincial, I guess.
                                                                    
  Emily decides to escape before Eugenia starts talking about the family tree and is waited on by Gloria. The cleavage-baring Gloria because obviously. She's also engaged to the mailman who has a theory that the downstaters are killing them off to buy the land. Well...

  Emily doesn't want lunch so she decides to kill some time with a cup of coffee before calling her boss with the nothing she got from the state police. Big spender.
  She doesn't want to become the murderer in gossip because Leetsville likes quick, simple answers. Gloria brings her coffee and hovers for a bit before getting to the point.  Apparently her preacher has been speaking out about "people worshipping the devil and bringing evil into our midst."

  Really?!

                                                                      

 

  Emily, of course, is startled at the mention of devil worship but then she reflects that "you never knew what folks up here might fixate on." Up here being the operative words.
  Anyways, Gloria tells Emily the local gossip about 'Miz' Poet and her friends gathering in the woods to be near nature and dance and feel young. Yup, shore sounds like the devil's work to me. I'm really curious now to see just how 'Deliverance' she can make us sound. I'm really surprised that she hasn't mentioned someone marrying their cousin or sister or something.

  Gloria says that Pastor Runcival was mad about it and insinuating that witches were afoot in the town. Oh, for fuck's sake.
  Emily, being an educated woman from Ann Arbor, thinks that's crazy. Gloria chides her because Reverends always know best and there could be some crazy people in the woods back there. Like Emily. But, Emily is new. So she's safe from the witch-burning I guess.

  Anywhat, Deputy Dolly enters and makes a beeline for Emily. I'm going to start calling her DD for brevity's sake. DD sits with Emily, having the uncouth Up North manners to set her hat on the table. Emily takes a little time out to mention that DD has "bad, dirty-blond, hat hair." I'm thinking Emily's more than a little judgey.

                                                               

This is how I picture her looking at DD

  Anywhere, DD proposes that she and Emily investigate the case together because...reasons? This makes absolutely no sense to me. Oh, Emily's got reporting skills and...educated. FOR FUCK'S SAKE!

                                                      

  Sorry, just got a little ragey there. Nope, no one up here has any of that there eddication. Grrr.

  DD's only condition is that Emily never put her in a book. Yeah, we'll see how well that works out. Emily decides that teaming up with DD is going to be the only way to get any info for her article so she reluctantly agrees.
  They start talking about the local bru-ha-ha involving the church and the old women but DD shrugs it off. The Sheriff reportedly asked DD to talk to 'Miz' Poet after the Reverend preached about the evil devil-worshipping witches but DD (correctly) didn't think it was her place. And I gotta tell ya. If I was dancing around naked in my own woods and the local police told me to stop I'd tell them to gtfo.

  They decide that talking with 'Miz' Poet's friends is the best place to start. Joslyn Henry who apparently is an extraordinary gardener. Then we get a gardening lecture. Thrilling.
  And Emily realizes that she's actually not as much a part of the town as she thought since she had no idea any of this was going on. Gee, it couldn't be that she feels above her neighbors, could it?

  Emily picks up the check for their tea and coffee and thinks about how her and DD are going to be the talk of the café soon.

  Out in the parking lot they shake hands on the bargain (again) and agree to meet at Harry's house a little bit later.


  End of Chapter


  Didn't know a mystery could be so dull did you? I may have gotten a little loud in this post but the fact that one of the main reasons that DD wants Emily to help is her education. One: I can't see an officer asking a civilian to help but, hey, that's usually the basis of a cozy mystery. Two: It really irritates me that they're basically insinuating that DD, being a small town gal, has very little education or logical thinking abilities. I could be wrong but I don't think they just hand out badges. I think there's some schooling involved.

  And, seriously, WITCHES?! We're not in medieval times for fuck's sake. I don't think that I've ever heard anyone called a 'witch' (at least in that context) for real. It just seems like such an overdone attempt to make the wild north woods even more backwater.

  All right, I'm done, I promise. For now. This book just makes me angrier each time I read it. The condescension and superior attitude are so unmistakable. And what is with the weird Southern-ish, cliché redneck accent?

  Well, Thursday's Thanksgiving so I might have Chapter 6 up on schedule and I might not. Depends on how much dinner knocks me for a loop. So, in the meantime, Happy Thanksgiving everyone!