DEAD DANCING WOMEN by Elizabeth Kane Buzzelli
                                                               Chapter Two Recap


 Well, it's Thursday so that means it's time for another Recap! And, yay! I actually stuck to my schedule! Minor miracle. So, from now on, Tuesdays and Thursdays will be dedicated to the Dead Dancing Women recaps but just so you aren't left lonely on the weekend, that's when I'll be doing the Point Horror recap. For those of you not old like me Point Horror was big in the '90s for teen horror. They featured some of the biggies like Christopher Pike, R.L. Stine, Caroline B. Cooney, Diane Hoh, Richie Tankersley Cusick and more. Digging around through my books the other day I came across quite a few so I thought it'd be fun to read them and see how well they still hold up after all these years and share my findings with you. We'll either marvel over how good they are or tear them apart like all the rest. Either way it should be fun!

  Now that that's settled we can get back to Emily.

  Last time we left her she told us about her life in Northern Michigan and found a head. Happy times.



  The Pickings:
  We start right after she finds the head and does a crazy dance/leap/twirl thing and knocks over the garbage can, sending the head rolling into the road. Lovely.
  Then a spinny little thought about...crows. Again. I guess the fragmented sentences are meant to show how much she's flipping out right now. Whatever.
  She gets it together pretty quick and decides to call the police (one realism point for someone actually doing what a normal person would do) and her boss? OK, I get that she's a journalist but wouldn't that be a little lower on the list?

  Anywho, She's afraid a car might hit the head, which is now in the road, or the crows might take off with it. So she sticks her garbage can over it. Which is pretty smart. It would help preserve any evidence from the rain (not that it will matter as you'll see in a moment)  and would make it visible to cars. Thumbs up, Emily.
  She runs to her studio (where she takes the time to tell us that her lock is "temperamental" I'm glad she told us. I was wondering.) to call the police. Who don't believe her at first. Um, ok. Although this won't be the last instance of Hyuck-Redneck Cops if you have a missing woman why in fuck would you accuse a woman who you know is mentally stable of playing a dumbass prank. 

  Anywhat, she's trying to convince him which naturally leads her to tally up her 'artistic sanctuary': A photo of Georgia O'Keefe, a Jim Harrison poem, an Erica Wieck poem, a lithograph of Emily Dickinson's house, and a painting of Flannery O'Connor. All a wealth of evidence that she's 'intelligent'. All of this, like I said, is noted while she's talking to the cops about a severed head. Okey dokey.

  Anywhere, back with Chief Lucky Bernard she's finally convinced him that indeed, she does have a severed head. He sends a deputy her way. Deputy Dolly "scourge of the backwoods roads" who delights in giving tickets and is described in typical fashion. A squat woman with bad hat hair and no fashion sense. She's also described as being "a lot like Barney Fife, only not as pretty". Wow. Bitchy much? I laughed so hard at her having the "voice of a marionette".  I'm thinking the word she was looking for was martinet because I have rarely heard a marionette talk on its own. But the, I'm just a lowly small-town girl, not a big-city writer like her. What do I know?

  Anyhow, Deputy Dolly gets there in record time because she's there when Emily gets back to the top of her drive. You know, I have no idea where anything is in relation to anything else on this property. Not exactly a pick, just an observation.
  Deputy Dolly lifts the can off the head. In the rain. And leaves it off. I guess they're not too worried about evidence.

  Another Mini-rant:
  We might not be cutting-edge but the police force does follow proper procedure on crimes. They don't haphazard it. Thanks for the Mayberry comparison Buzzelli.

  Anywhen, they chat a bit until the Chief pulls up. They nod a bit over the head before letting Emily know that it's "Miz Poet", the elderly lady that has been missing the last couple weeks. Gee, didn't see that one coming. Another gripe I have with this book is the people talk like the stereotypical redneck. The only problem is, nobody here talks like that. Of course, her downstate compadres don't talk like that. Because they're !SMART!

  Anywhen, They dither a bit about how the head ended up in the can, among their suggestions, an animal put it there. Luckily, !SMART! Emily saves the day by suggesting that it was ridiculous that an animal could have done it. They decide to wait for the 'Doc' to tell them what's up with the head. Which, most evidence is all washed away now. Good job.
  Chief jibes her about her non-selling books. I guess I was wrong. Apparently, everyone thinks about her books. I stand corrected. She ruminates on this as she glooms her way back to her house. There follows a very deep observation about how in a small town everybody knows everything except the buried secrets. Original.

  Chief wonders if the head might be something for a book she's writing. Really!? Even after they figured out it was the missing woman. I can't even say too much about the cops being dumb because in this type of book the cops usually are dumb but c'mon.

  They tell Emily that she can wait until morning to make her statement. And then we end with Emily planning to get a new garbage can. Exciting.


  End of Chapter


  Well, that's all for Chapter Two. Join me next Tuesday to get the riveting Chapter Three. Does Emily get a new trash can? Can't wait to see!

  On Saturday I'll be posting the first chapter recap of The Locker by Richie Tankersley Cusick.


  As always, I appreciate any feedback, ideas or constructive criticism. Any books or movies that you'd like to see savaged just let me know!

  Happy Almost Friday!