I've been wanting to do this one for a bit now. I'm going to go chapter by chapter so, yeah, spoilers galore. I've been wanting to do it partly because it's set locally and partly because it deserves it. The author is originally from Ann Arbor and moved up north to teach creative writing at the Northwestern Michigan College. But, even before finishing the book, I pegged her as someone from the southern part of the state. I could tell because a lot of people from 'downstate' have certain ideas about the intelligence of the local people. Thanks to some beautiful lakes, hunting, fishing, skiing and snowmobiling we have tourists nearly year round.
And they're not subtle with their opinions about us. This might seem a little bitter but I'm not, really. But it's bad enough they think that, then to have a book written that does nothing but reinforce those stereotypes is a little...rage inducing.
Plus, a lot of it is just ridiculous and Emily Kincaid is a very annoying main character. She's stuck-up (see above), a doormat and whiny. Oh, yeah, any chapter subtitles are mine. The book follows a standard chapter format.
But let's not get ahead of ourselves. On to Northern Michigan!
Synopsis:
Would-be mystery writer Emily Kincaid has been living in Northern Michigan for the past three years. She wanted to escape the city and her cheating ex-husband to concentrate on her writing. She gets caught up in a mystery of her own when someone leaves a severed head in her garbage can. With the help of a local cop, Deputy Dolly, they try to solve the case with minor interruptions by her ex coming for a visit and her job as a freelance journalist.
The Pickings:
The book is told in first person through the eyes of Emily Kincaid. So we're in her head all of the time. Yay.
We open with Emily chasing down her garbage can that a black bear has been banging around for a few weeks. We are in the woods, y'all!
Then she maudlins a bit about autumn which brings us to an internal info-dump about how she found the property (she got lost), why she had the money to buy it (her father passed away) and her reasons for wanting to move (find peace, get away from the ex).
Then she encounters the crows who she likens to thugs because they pick apart her garbage and "scare the heck out of her".
More about the weather and autumn and a "not-so-bad husband, except for the one bad habit". From that and her calling him "poor Jackson" earlier I'm going to guess that his bad habit is not beating her or kinky sex.
More about the gang, The Crows. She notes that they're not there for the dead possum in the road. Oh no, they want her and her garbage can. Apparently The Crows are gossiping about her hair (which hasn't been styled in two whole months!), her jeans, her sweatshirt, her muddy shoes, her sex life (or lack thereof), and her failed mystery novels. Wow, The Crows are nothing but gossips I tell ya. Snooty bastards, too.
She ruminates to herself that she's becoming a joke to her few acquaintances (note the lack of the word 'friends'). Because of her failed novels. Because they have nothing better to do than talk about her, I suppose.
Warning Rant Incoming:
Apparently they've decided that she's so pathetic that she needs help so they're always stopping by with ideas for her. The problem, for her, is that these ideas always come from the TV show they've watched the night before. Because us country folk don't have a creative bone in our body. Nope. We work, eat and fall asleep in front of the TV. We don't read them there things called 'books'. Shucks, no. We're also just too goshdarned dumb to remember what we've watched the night before.
Ok, I'm done. Sorry, that's one of the parts that royally ticked me off. And maybe not so badly if it weren't a recurring 'joke' throughout the book.
Anywho, her reverie on the stupidity of her acquaintances comes to an end with the arrival of Mailman Simon. She apparently intimidates him because she's an artist of some kind (evidenced by her mail from arts and literature agencies) and lives alone. Which makes her either crazy or a man-hater. Um, ok. She also receives *gasp!* books! From bookstores! Wow! She must be artsy!
Anywhat, his first comment to her is about the crows. For fuck's sake people, they're CROWS! They are not that special or unusual around here!
He offers her a puppy which activates "every thwarted instinct" but she refuses. What instincts? Maternal? Puppy-wanting?
They get into a discussion of dogs for protection and crime in the area. He talks a little about a missing lady (foreshadowing!) and criminals coming from 'up in Marquette'. Most of the potential crimes we list usually starts with 'all those people from downstate' (no offense) but Simon, who is supposedly from the area doesn't mention it at all. Funny, that. Also, one of the largest prisons in the U.S. is the Southern Michigan Correctional Facility in Jackson Michigan. But, yeah, let's worry about the Marquette Prison (which is almost too beautiful to be a prison) that is across the bridge, rather than one that is just down state from us. Sure, Buzzelli, whatever.
Anywhere, he also warns her about her neighbor, Harry, who lives off the grid and does odd jobs for people for money. She sticks up for Harry because he taught her how to identify morel mushrooms, puffball mushrooms and wild leeks.
Sorry for the interruption, again, but I have to call bullshit on Harry showing Emily where to find morels. One, the morels up here are getting over-picked because of the high price they fetch in stores and restaurants. And two, nobody, shares their mushrooming spots. Nobody. I've always said that you can find out who killed J.F.K. more easily than you can find out someone's mushrooming, hunting and fishing spots. That is not an exaggeration. You ask someone where they found their mushrooms and you'll hear, "Oh, around, you know. Out walking." So, yeah, bullshit.
Anyhow, she emphatically says no to the puppy but says how it's almost like he's smiling and sweet eyes so I have a feeling we're going to be reading about Emily's adventures with puppies in a bit.
Mailman Simon leaves and she contemplates the weather some more and procrastinates about going out to her workshop by her small lake to do some work on her novel. Which has a familiar feeling of having seen it before so she's worried it might be an old rerun (that of course came from her neighbors). She also mentions an article she's supposed to be doing freelance for a local newspaper. I have to interject again. Either her father must have left her fairly well off, she had some money saved or she did well in her divorce. Or all three. Because her only work is freelance journalism and the property she describes would not be cheap. A house (smallish, true, but at least two bedrooms) an outdoor thing that she uses as a writing studio and a small lake.
She finally gets to her garbage can and notes that the lid, unusually, is on instead of flung in the yard. Because garbage men are just like that, I guess. She notices something rolling around and opens it to find...a HEAD! Dun dun dunnn!
End of Chapter
I just wanted to say that although the share buttons below are grayed out, they DO work. I don't know why they're grayed out but you can like, share and tweet from here. So, if you like what you see, please do! I would appreciate it so much.
I'll be posting Chapter Two on Thursday so stay tuned!
As always I welcome any comments or suggestions! See you next time!
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